Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Marriage is the Present Tense of Divorce

Here's some Random Stuff I have learned through the divorce process:

  • The problems you had in your marriage are not solved by breaking up. In fact, it makes them bigger and there is an added bonus of introducing new problems.

  • Things that were mere annoyances in your marriage between you and your spouse (ie. being late, forgetting events, veiled sarcasm) become significant issues once you separate.

  • Unless you put a plan in place to make a "trial separation" a trial of something specific, separation will inevitably lead to divorce.

  • The older the kids are, the more difficult it is to keep them "out of it".

  • Your parents can be far more supportive than you ever imagined possible.

  • No matter what the circumstances are that leads to the break down, it will be "your fault". Either you committed the acts the ended it, or you drove the other person to commit them.

  • All it takes is for one person to want "out"; you can't keep a marriage together all by yourself. The harder you try, the stronger the other person resists.

  • The money you never had to take the family to Disneyland, France, skiing, sailing etc. will all be spent on lawyers threefold.


laughingwolf said...

truth therein, bro... i'm a divorced dad myself so can empathize

TentCamper said...

How true!!! I am divorced (actually still trying) and ...believe me when I say that you know your shit!!!

Amber said...

some interesting insights. I'm glad I got divorced b4 I had kids, it would've been considerably harder had a tried it after.

chocdrop said...

I refused to let my ex and our differences get in the way of our raising our child. We didn't waste time with the drama. We did what was best for our daughter and still do to this day.

Mom said...

Divorce sucks. I'm sorry you had to have one. :-/


Athena said...

You confirm everything I suspect about divorce. I have always told my husband I stay married to him because 1.) I love him and 2.) I have no interest in having an asshole like him for an ex.

Chapter Two said...

point taken

Anonymous said...

I'm totally stealing that line, Athena!

Susan said...

Wow. Perfectly said! But you can totally learn from so much of it... it just comes later after all the hatred simmers. Use it to your advantage, and I swear you can look back and be thankful you went through it all once you find a sweeter place.

canadian52 said...

So true. But there is life and excitement after divorce. Here's proof. Feel free to comment.

Mark said...

In my view everyone have to glance at it.
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