Ask Hot Dads - Wisdom at its finest

ManicMariah asked: "Do you Hot Dads think that online flirting with strangers (Twitter, comments, etc) boosts you ego in a way that is positive or negative way in your real life relationship?

TentCamper says: I don’t know. I suppose it could go either way. I guess that some meaningless flirting can be ok. (in attempts to get more followers and such…as long as the flirting is not genuine.) But then again. One has to take into consideration their spouse. Do they read what you write? Are they secure with how you feel about them? Are they the jealous type? Etc. Keep it to a minimum and keep it in check.

DadsHouse says: It can definitely be an ego boost. Is it healthy? Um.... NO! Come on, guys, Man up, and feel good about yourselves for the right reasons. Not because some hottie flirted on your blog. Find a young Starbucks barista to make eyes with! (Haha.)

CoachDad says: I don't really think it has a negative or positive effect with my relationship. I only correspond with two people that I have met through blogging or twittering and don't really consider it flirting. I enjoy emailing them or IMing them and we usually just talk about our day, kids, or relationships. I value the conversations I have with them, but would also not hide them from my girlfriend.

DaddyGeekBoy says: Any flirting can be an ego boost. But what you do with that boost is what makes it positive or negative. How does the flirting affect your real life relationships? While I have strong online friendships with people, I tend not to flirt with them (except for Tent Camper, cause he’s hawt!). So this is a tough one for me to answer.

Hubman says: While Veronica and I both flirt quite a bit [kinda comes with the lifestyle], I don't know that it's an ego boost. I suppose that having my flirtatious comments returned in a positive way could be good for my self esteem. I know that participating in HNT had a very positive effect for Veronica. So I guess that yes, online flirting has been something positive for Veronica and I!

Southern Sage says: Well I have no personal experience with this because I would never flirt. If I were to guess though I would think it was a positive thing.


What are your thoughts on having a stay at home parent as opposed to sending your kids to day care? (and what is done in your house?)

TentCamper says: I think that having a stay at home parent is by far the best for the kids. Personally, I would not want someone else raising and teaching my kids about life. I want that job to be done by a parent. I do though, think that it is very important to ensure the kids get a great deal of socialization and not just with your friend’s kids…They need to learn how to cope and deal with other kids with differing attitudes and behaviors.

DadsHouse says Day care rocks! It's great for the kids. Both of mine went through day care, and they are both socially savvy. That said, I work from home now, and I LOVE being here when my kids (teens now) get home after school. They talk to me like crazy in that short window between getting home and eating a snack (fourth meal) and starting their homework. After that, they have already processed their day and aren't as chatty. The parent child relationship is much importante! Check out the book, Parenting is a contact sport.

CoachDad says: As a single dad, I don't have an option. Ideally, a stay-at-home parent would be better for me and my children. However, as a head high school football coach, my girls love coming to my practices right after they are out of school and hanging out with me for a few hours on the football field.

DaddyGeekBoy says: I’m for whatever works best for that particular family. I have great respect for the stay at home parent and as a member of the work force, I also understand how challenging a full time job can be. There is no right or wrong. Except if it involves me being a stay at home parent…cause I would go insane!

Hubman says: Oh boy....

Inspired by my fellow Hot Dad Sage, my lovely wife wrote 2 posts on this topic a few months ago. Rather than try to restate what she said, and since she and I agree 100% on the matter, why don't you just click here and here to read what she had to say?

Southern Sage says: Are you trying to get me in trouble again? My bride stays home. I would have it no other way. There is no question a parent can raise their own kid better than others can, therefore the kid(s) will be better off if a parent does the bulk of the raising and supervising. I always do what is in the best interest of my kids.


Do you watch porn? And if so, primarily alone or with your partner?

TentCamper says: I’m ok with porn. I kind of like to watch with Mariah here and there…but it has to be as a form of foreplay. I will also state that I’d sign a petition to remove all sound tracks from porn. The music sucks, the lines are stupid and the plots are ridiculous. I don’t watch for anything but the view. OH ... and will you producers try to keep the actress pool at least appealing? Not too into watching middle aged trailer park sluts trying to act all sexy…it does not work.

DadsHouse says: I don't watch it. I'd rather get it on in real life with a real woman.

CoachDad says: I don't watch porn, but fantasize quite often about it. Don't seem to find the time to throw it on at home. When I find time at home for myself when the girls are finally asleep, I'd rather just do it with my partner.

DaddyGeekBoy says:Yes, I watch porn. I like porn. Thankfully we live in such a glorious technologically advanced age where it’s plentiful and easy to obtain. And I watch it alone.

Hubman says: Not really, believe it or not. I do browse an occasional website or two, but I rarely watch porn videos.

Southern Sage says: Again I have no personal experience here but if I did I would say alone.


Anonymous asked: Overall what do you think the (physically) most attractive race is for a woman?

TentCamper says: Wow…hard question. I’ll have to say that women raised in Santa Monica, CA are the Hottest. (you’re welcome baby!) But as a close second, I’d have to say South American and/or Northern Europe (i.e. Denmark, Sweden…Scandinavian)

DadsHouse says: Latina. Though I'm sometimes attracted to Indian, Persian, Mediterranean... dark hair, olive skin, slim waist, wide hips, nice butt...

CoachDad says: I am non-discriminatory when it comes to women... Any beautiful women physically or personality-wise will do.

DaddyGeekBoy says: I’m going to take this question to mean ethnicity rather than race. I think Indian women are some of the most beautiful women out there. But they’re right up there with Latin and Scandinavian.

Hubman says: Are you serious, Anonymous? Women of all races are attractive!

Southern Sage says: Hmmmm well that’s surely the first time I have ever seen this question asked anywhere. I would say oriental if forced to choose, though I never culled on account of race.


If you could magically change one part of your body, what would it be and why?

TentCamper says: DEFINITELY NOT MY MANHOOD! (shit that is one power tool that any mechanic would die for). That being said….I’d go with my chest and shoulders. ( I could stand to work out a bit more).

DadsHouse says: Wait a sec - are you trying to sell us some elongating device? Because that is NOT a part of my body I have any intention of changing. I get rave reviews already. (Gotta love a blog that lets you brag about your manhood. I mean, who's gonna check!?)

One part of my body... the big toenail on my right foot. It's funky.

CoachDad says: My abs... Doesn't matter how much I do, I am always five beers short of a six-pack.

DaddyGeekBoy says: I wouldn’t mind toning down the body fuzz a bit.

Hubman says: Goodbye spare tire, hello six-pack!!! Because it's the one part of my body I really don't like. Well, that and my receding and thinning hairline.

Southern Sage says: I would have all the hair removed from everywhere I shave it, face, head, boys.

There is a blog Pimping you should check out HERE, Hotdads being pimped today!

Rooftop Investigation

I don’t know about the rest of you but I live a few blocks from the ocean and have a multitude of seagulls flying overhead at any given time. Additionally, our neighborhood has a crow population that must rival that of China and with fruit trees, we have a gang of mockingbirds and a more than typical population of hummingbirds.

Now…the other day I was up on our roof, doing some man shit, when I noticed that I did not see any bird shit on the roof. A bit surprised, due to the above paragraph, I searched the entire roof. (Yes, I was on the roof scanning for bird scat.) I looked up, and saw a bunch of the pesky fliers that I’ve been talking about…but no poo. Then I took it upon myself to find the best locations on the roof to see the neighboring houses’ roofs. Not having the eyesight that I did in my younger years, I jumped through a window and grabbed my binoculars.

Once back up on the roof, I began scanning the close by rooftops through my binoculars. Still not seeing even one splattering of bird shit…I began letting it really bother me. I stayed up there for what seemed like an eternity, looking from house to house through the binoculars.

Now most of you probably know that when one is looking through binoculars…you only see what you are aiming at…you remove all peripheral vision. Crouched down on the roof, black lenses glued to my face…and all of the sudden I heard, “you up there! What are you doing? Come down here!” Almost falling off the roof and nearly dropping the binoculars, I turned to see that the neighborhood security had seen me and stopped, thinking that I was looking through peoples’ windows.

I climbed down and approached the irritated and confused officer. Before he could say a word, I began explaining what I had been doing. The guy’s facial expression said, “What the fuck ever dude. I know what you were doing.” By the time I finished my story, he just burst out laughing. As both of us were cracking up, he blurted out, “That is the best story that I’ve ever heard on the job…or you need to find yourself a good hobby.”

Realizing that, although he was laughing, he was not sure if he believed me or not, I told him to look for himself…that he had to come up and see first hand. He refused but admitted that by me insisting and the sincerity in voice…that he believed my story. He jumped back into his car, still chuckling as he picked up his radio and drove off.

I have to say that I did not even realize what it must have looked like. Me sitting up on the roof with binoculars…looking at the neighbors’ houses.

I need to stop and think before doing some of the shit that I do!!!

Back to my question...and the reason for this post.

Why do you rarely find bird poo on roofs? Do they hold it while flying over neighborhoods? Save it for people at the beach or on picnics? I don't get it.

I will start this post by saying …”not that I do”, but what do you all think about men who name their…package, johnson, manhood…whatever. I don’t mean names like that….more like, “Mr. Mighty”, “Sammy the Snake”, “Big Bob”, “Dong Juan” etc.

I will admit that BACK in the day…I may have had a name or two for my “instrument panel” but not these days.

I don’t really know why this popped into my head…and I really don’t think that it matters…It did so I write.

For the guys out there…do you have names?
For the women…
What do you think of guys who name their privates?
What is the best or worst name that you’ve ‘encountered’?

Oh…also do women name their…womanhood?

Do adults with children have friends?

I don’t know if I just have this whole adult/parent thing all jumbled up in my head…or if what this post is gong to (hopefully) be about is legitimate.

I’ve had conversations with Mariah before about this but it seems that I never really have my thoughts straight. I am talking about having friends. Do adults with children have friends? Are said parents just friends with whoever their kids’ friends’ parents are?

I don’t know if parents are supposed to have friends, in the same manner that they did before having kids. If they are, do they go out for a drink or to catch a movie with said friends? Or do they just sit and socialize while their respective kids are having ‘play dates?’

I know that as an adult and as a parent, that the mundane things like working, feeding, clothing and caring for your children top the priority list, but I still can’t help feeling friendless. There are a few guys (yes…they are parents of some of our kids’ friends) that I like and love to ‘hang’ with. But with all of our personal and kids’ schedules all it ever seems to be is 15 minutes of shooting the shit while picking up or dropping off a kid. Is that they way it is supposed to be? Am I diluted to think that more is to be expected?

I suppose that it is not that big of a deal right now due to the fact that I do not have the time in the evening…or the money to go grab a few beers and catch a movie with my dad friends…but if I did…is that what people do?

A few months ago I tried to set up a guys’ poker night at my house. I wanted to start with a few guys once a month. After emailing 7 neighborhood dads…I got one that said he could do it…not the makings of a good poker night. I guess I just need to admit defeat and disregard my thoughts of having friends outside of our kids’ world.

No matter how many times I tell the kids, “It is not all about you!” I am the one that is full of shit. It IS all about the kids. I guess I am answering my own original question here and now am starting to understand that whole mid-life-crisis thing. Suck it up, do the kid thing and then once the kids are out of the house and off in the world making their marks…that is when we (parents) begin to reclaim our lives and try to pick up where we left off (before kids.)

Don’t get me wrong…I love the kids and love doing everything that I can to make them happy and loved. This has just been one of those nagging things bouncing around in the back of my skull for a while. …I guess I have rambled enough about this and if it made no sense to you…..whatever…I feel better just getting it out.

You know me….just peeing in the wind!!!!

Random Daily Thoughts

It scares the shit out of me when I find myself at the tail end of a drive that I do all the time and then realize that I can’t recall the last 10 minutes. What if I had a car full of kids, what if there was some maniac on the road? Is it auto-pilot?…a lapse of short term memory?...a brain fart?...Are you actually ‘there’ and on the ball…but just don’t remember? DAMN!!! That annoys the hell out of me.


The saying, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” gets me like a freaking hot knife…right through the fucking eyeball!

I understand its meaning and intention…But here is why I have ‘issues’ with it. To start with…I am a man. I read into things and then THAT becomes their factual meaning and intended purpose on this earth.

I am in the midst of a nasty divorce and do not get to see my two boys as much as I should. I am unemployed and we are scraping by. I am not able to provide for my family the way I’d like to. I smoke. I have a tendency to ‘have talks’ about every ounce of waste that comes out of my body. I am not married to the woman that I love….and the list goes on.

BUT…I am happy. I am with the woman that I love. I do get to see my boys. Mariah and her kids love me. We are not starving. We have the things that we need to survive. We have friends. We are healthy and we have an amazing extended family …….SO…one way to look at it…It ain’t broke.

Do I just scrap the whole, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it thing? I HAVE to find work. I NEED to finalize my divorce. I YEARN to be a bigger part in my boys’ lives. Etc.

SEE….That is what goes on in this ‘so called’ brain of mine.

The Best Of The Worst

After watching the Oscars the other night, I started thinking about movies. No, not the great, award-winning movies, I started thinking about the B-rated craptastic movies. The ones that got no recognition, but they served a purpose nonetheless. They drew the line between bad and good movies, and for that, all the good movies should be thankful.

So I'm sitting there watching the pomp and circumstance, and just then I see my man, Mickey Rourke. I instantly remembered the BEST B-rated movie of all time. Hands down, the award goes to Harley Davidson And The Marlboro Man.

What makes the movie so great? Only a million things, but I don't have all day. So I'll condense it for you, and I'll expect some sort of royalty kick-back when you rent this movie tonight.

The Beginning: In my mind, you CANNOT go wrong if there are boobs and a kick-ass motorcycle featured in the first three minutes. This movie starts out with Mickey, aka Harley, leaving the room of a beautiful, half-naked woman and hopping on his ass-kicking monster of a motorcycle. Great start!!

The Cast: Surprisingly star-studded. Mickey Rourke, Don Johnson, Vanessa Williams, one of the Baldwins (doesn't matter which one, they're all the same), Tia Carrerra, and Big John Studd. Remember that dude?

The Concept: Plot aside, the concept of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man is these two guys that live day-to-day. These guys go where they want to go and do what they want to do. Who doesn't admire that just a little bit? I won't speak for everybody, but sometimes I wish I could just take off for one measly day, and forget about being married and having kids, and a mortgage, and a car payment, and taxes, and groceries, and dr visits, and all the other bullshit that comes with being an American family. The lifestyle that this movie preaches is something we can barely imagine, let alone experience.

So there you have it readers, the BEST of the worst. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man is my pick for cream of the crappy crop. How about you? What is your favorite crappy movie?

Posted by Cameron @ Get The Stink Off

Picture of my... 'Package'

Being that it is the weekend…and nobody reads…or comments on blogs… I am going to do something ...

COMPLETELY OFF THE WALL!

Click the following link for a photo of my HUGE ‘package’!!!!!!

Introducing.... Me

How the heck did I end up here? The first I heard from Bedside Talesman was "I have been told by a few people now that you need to get involved in this new blog that I started...".

To which I replied "A few people told you I need to get involved? I sense smoke being blown up my ass, but that's alright!"

In any case, I happily accepted the offer.

Since this is a bunch of guys who may or may not know each other from our main blogs (I only knew Bedside Talesman and Southern Sage before) I figured I would start by introducing myself.

I'm very happily married for 15 yrs to my college sweetheart (check out her blog here, if you're so inspired) and we have 2 kids, Darling Boy, 8 yrs old, and Princess Persistent, who is not quite 3 yrs old. My wife is known on the blogs as Another Suburban Mom (ASM) and as Veronica. We've been through a lot together- finishing college, several graduate degrees, numerous moves and job changes. We are both career-driven individuals trying to balance work and home lives.

I LOVE being a dad. Not to say it doesn't drive me nuts some days... But sometimes I wonder if I'm doing things "right". I imagine that I'll share some of those doubts here.

Some of my baggage is that not only are mine and my wife's parents divorced, but there are serious issues with both of our fathers. My dad is an alcoholic, recovered now, and a wonderful grandpa to the kids, but not so good when I was growing up. He tried, he really did, but in many ways I hope I do "better" with my kids than he did with me. Is it bad that I look up to my step-father as a role model more than my own dad?

Veronica's dad? When she was getting ready to head off to college he informed her that he thought she was destined for failure and by helping pay for her education he would be wasting his money. Their relationship declined from there, to the point when we got married 4 yrs later he was not invited to our wedding. When each of our kids were born she wrote him a letter telling him about them, in an effort to repair the relationship and allow our kids to know their paternal grandfather. His response? Absolutely nothing. We never heard from him.

So that's a little about me.

Thanks for the invite- this should be fun!

Posted by Hubman

OCD Sucks !!!!!!

Due to some technical difficulties…or my ever-present OCD…I had to erase all of the timers for shows set to record on our satellite system. There were some conflicts and things just weren’t working right (as smooth as I’d like them to be.)

As to not forget any shows…and again letting some OCD seep out, I first made a list (I love lists) of everything that we, as a household, wanted recorded on a regular basis.

35 freakin shows!
And 25 of them are shows primarily for Mariah and I.

What the hell are we thinking? How are we supposed to watch 25 hours of TV a week?

That made me think about it in relation to other things in my weekly schedule…fine…It was an excuse for me to make another list.

Here is what I cam up with…In order:
Sleep – 56 Hours
TV – 25
HoursWriting / computer / work – 25 Hours
Homework help – 10 Hours
Laundry/cooking/household chores – 8 Hours
Carpools – 8 Hours
Sex – 6 Hours
Volunteering at the school – 4.5 Hours
Shopping – 3 Hours

A TOTAL OF 145.5 HOURS!

Being that there are only 168 hours in the week…I have about 22.5 hours unaccounted for. (I know I do other things so I will not stress about ‘losing time’ or anything.)

Now, looking at this list…I know that I need to move SEX MUCH HIGHER in the list, additionally, I am spending roughly 47% of the hours in the week sleeping and watching TV…WTF!? Like I don’t have better things to do.