What the heck is a lag?

I am not only amazed at the speed in which pre-teens can speak, but my ability to think I understand what they are saying…and being way off base.

Driving down the street with our fast talking 12 year old when we came to a stop light. As we were waiting, a young woman began crossing the crosswalk with her dog. All of the sudden, Megan spits out, “Dang…She has a GREAT lag!” I quickly look at the woman. I looked right at her ass, thinking that a lag was her rear. Then I realized who was in the back seat and concentrated on the woman’s walk…thinking a lag might be a kind of strut…like the old school ‘pimp walk.’

Not seeing anything special…(though I did take another sneak peak at her ass) I turned to look over my shoulder and asked, “What the heck is a lag?”

Megan laughed and faster than I could tune my ears, recited, “ I didn’t say lag…I said lag! L as in Larry, A as in Army, B as in Boob!”

I, trying to control my laughter turned and (tried to) sternly say, “Megan…B as in Boob? What about Bob…or Beach?”

After the clarification…I did realize that the woman was walking an very cute Black Lab.

Damn….I nee to keep up.

MILFy is...Hot Boobs Or A Great Ass?

OK…so I posted this the other day on I Pee In The Wind and after the comments started rolling in…I thought that I should re-post it with some clarification.

I am talking about that ONE physical attribute on a women’s body that gets your blood moving. Come on ladies, you can play too. I KNOW that you find the woman’s body attractive. (c’mon…say that you don’t. I knew that you couldn’t)

I can also tell you another way that I know that women find women hot… when you are walking with your man (or woman) and you are about to walk by someone that you think is hot, you automatically watch us out of the corner of your eye…to see if we are going to check them out.

I love every part of a woman…shit…that’s not true. I HATE feet. But besides that, it’s all good. I can be an ass man and still love tweaking nipples and playing with fun bags.

So once again...

As with all living things…we as humans have types. By type I mean that thing we say when describing qualities that attract us to one another. Let me rephrase that…”I am an ass man.” I say that because saying “I am a lips man” or “I am an eyes man” sounds kind of …un manly. Those are, in fact, the three physical attributes in a woman that can make me come to attention…so to speak.

*To Mariah: You have incredible eyes and lips and if I go more than a few hours without inappropriately staring at your ass…or giving it a good slap…I get the shakes and go into withdrawals.

OK…back to my pre-disclaimer thought. I think that I’d say I like butts and lips evenly and eyes come in a close second. If you have all three (like my baby) consider yourself special.

Don’t get me wrong ladies, I know that what is on the inside is more important and looks only get you so far…yada yada. I am NOT talking about love…nor even wanting to strike up a conversation with anyone. Just that thing that catches your eye at first glimpse. You ladies have it too…buff chest, six pack abs…a large bulge in the pants, etc. You know…that thing that lets us know that we are still alive.

I am not sure, nation-wide…or world wide where I’d fit in the percentages…Are there more ass men than boob men? Speaking of boob men…they are kind of funny. The boob men that I know are like scavengers, in my book. It seems that they look at every set that walks by. Big, small, real, fake, firm and perky, droopy and low…all of them. Maybe some guys become boob men because it is the easiest part of a woman’s body to see. To get a good read on an ass takes the right angle, the right outfit…and even then you sometimes never know.

**another disclaimer – after checking out Google Analytics, it seems that the terms Boobs, Hot boobs and MILF tend to send a lot of traffic my way. Anyway, with asses it is different, at least for me. I don’t like NOR LOOK AT; XL, inverted, slanty, extra wide, too high or too low butts. I like a butt with some meat…making it a nice ‘round mound of fun’ I’d post a picture of Mariah’s sexy ass for you to all check out but Webster’s has a copyright of the image for their new dictionary.

See what kind of nonsense looking at Analytics can make people write?

Anyway…What is the ONE thing ??????