Showing posts with label boys n girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys n girls. Show all posts

Friday, March 26, 2010

Dr. CBG: Guys…what NOT to do.

Call me Dr. CBG.

And today, I have scoured the internet looking for love tips for you, the men of the Blogosphere. What I've come up with is ten sure-fire tips for guys on things NOT to do.

Trust me…you'll thank me later:

  1. Don't commit to a relationship too quickly. Men sometimes have the tendency to make a big deal out of first dates that they enjoy, so if you do that then your potential partner might feel pressured and thus create discomfort and uneasiness. Man, if I had a nickel for every woman I've made uneasy...
  2. Don't never commit to anything. Dudes, my poor grammatical skills aside, if you can't make some type of commitment then your potential partner may feel like there's no hope for a future. Smarten-up. Not every woman wants a booty-call.
  3. Brush your teeth. C'mon guys…no woman wants to kiss a guy with skunk breath. Keep a piece of gum or a mint handy. Jeez…have a bit of class, ya skunky bastard.
  4. Stop showing off. Sure, if I had a million dollars I'd probably flaunt it a bit…but women don't want to hear all about your yacht or your abs or your big-ass bank account. The bald middle-aged pudgy white guy sitting at the next table over-hearing your stories don't want to hear your stories, either. Just STFU.
  5. Women don't like farting. Well…most women, anyway. So stop it. And don't tell fart jokes, either. What's the matter with you?
  6. Nobody wants to hear about your ex. I know your past relationship sucked. I mean hell…you're single for a reason, right? But guess what, Skippy? That woman you're with doesn't want to hear you bad-mouth your ex. Just STFU (kind of a running theme today). If you're asked, then tell. Just keep it reasonable and don't embellish.
  7. Don't push her head "down below". I hate to burst your bubble, guys…but sex in the bedroom isn't always a real-life porno. If a woman wants to mouth-tackle the twig-n-berries, she'll do it on her own or (better yet) maybe if you ask her nicely.
  8. Ask for f*cking directions! The GPS isn't perfect and you're not on the Amazing Race. Swallow some of that pride and just ask somebody where the hell you're supposed to go.
  9. Soap. Learn it. Spell it. Use it.
  10. Umm…women are allowed to orgasm, too. You'll get your turn; stop being so damn greedy.

So there you have it...your top ten love tips for men. Pretty amazing ground-breaking stuff, right? Well, I'm also available for one-on-one tutoring sessions and bar mitzvahs.

Ladies...any more suggestions?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Gender Toys: the Video Game vs. the Dollhouse

Christmas is just around the corner but this week, I've been knee deep in the Festival of Lights (more commonly referred to as Hanukkah).

Two days ago on my award winning* Twitter account, I posted this:

Although I was kidding, I realize that this may have painted a picture of me that isn’t completely accurate—that I’m concerned with my son’s gender identity and want to make sure he plays with “boy” toys.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. I really don’t care what toys he plays with. He’s got enough toy cars to open a dealership, but if he wants to play with the Ken doll we have lovingly dubbed “naked” Steve (because of the Bean’s continued and steadfast refusal to keep it’s clothes on) I’m seriously fine with it. I would be hypocritical not to. Growing up, I spent just as many hours playing kitchen or Barbies with my little sister as she did playing ball or knock-hockey with me.

On the other hand, there are some who feel strongly that toys should be divided amongst gender lines. I have a friend who can’t stomach the thought of his boys playing with anything “girly”. He gets seriously bent out of shape at the implication that his sons are anything less than brimming with testosterone. And he has no sense of humor about this. I dunno, maybe he's watched too many episodes of Mad Men.

Keeping up traditional gender lines feels like such an antiquated parenting notion, but surprisingly, it still exists today. Why is there such pressure for boys to like "boy" things. There doesn't seem to be as much pressure for a girl to like "girl" things.

What about you? Do you think toys define gender or the other way around? Do you care if your son or daughter plays with toys of the “opposite” gender?

*Okay, maybe not “award winning” but my mom thinks it’s funny.
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