Driving Under The Limit!!

Having a daughter who has been driving for a few years and a son who is about to get his permit…and watching their friends drive has gotten a bit under my skin lately.

As we live in a country with the lowest driving age (shared by Canada and parts of Australia - 16) and I know that some back-assward states let kids get permits at 14…

I started to look at some statistics. They frightened me!

• There are more than six million car accidents each year in the United States.

• A person dies in a car accident every 12 minutes and each year car crashes kill 40,000

people.

• The leading cause of death for individuals between 2 and 34 years old is motor vehicle crashes.

• Someone is injured by a car crash every 14 seconds and about two million of the people injured in car accidents each year suffer permanent injuries.

• Over 25% of all drivers were involved in an auto accident in a five-year period.

• Excessive speed is the second most common cause of deadly auto accidents, which accounts for about 30% of fatal accidents.

• Car crashes cost each American more than $1,000 a year; $164.2 billion is the total cost

each year across the United States.

• Car accidents are the leading cause of death for kids between 2 and 14; About 2,000 children die each year from injuries caused by car accidents.

• Each year, almost 250,000 children are injured in car crashes, meaning nearly 700 kids are harmed every day.

• Car accidents are the leading cause of acquired disability nationwide.

Now why can’t we get on board with the rest of the world and raise the minimum driving age to 17 or even 18 ?

When I see things like this….

I get furious! (Fine…I may be prone to road rage….but this is why)

Your thoughts?

Spies, Code of Conduct and Boot Camp

It has become increasingly obvious to me that Mariah and I are going to have to sit down to reformulate our plan of attack with regards to the kids. The kids are all great and nobody is giving us any problems…as of now, but it is our goal to keep it that way.

The kids are all getting older and Mariah and I (unfortunately) continue to age as well…(I am even beginning to shrink!!) We want what is best for all of the kids and want them to grow, learn and conduct themselves in an age appropriate manner. Now the difficult part in this balancing act is that every child is different. Just because one 12 year old acts a certain way…doesn’t mean that every 12 year old should.

We try to push the kids to be ‘individual’ and to follow their instincts. We want them to feel comfortable being who they are…to a point. I do want our 10 year old to stop the baby talk, whining, going EVERYWHERE with the 4 stuffed animals and two little ‘blankies’ and drinking from a baby bottle…and I want our 18 year old to call to check in after school and ask before inviting 15 friends over at 9PM for a back yard party.

Now, with 6 kids ranging from 5 to 18, we have run into a sort of conundrum. House Rules. I am big on rules and consistency, while Mariah is big on individuality and reflection on her childhood. Both aspects are very important in operating a well-oiled family machine.

We have found it hard to have (and enforce) just one set of household rules. It would be ridiculous to have our 18 year old following the same rules as a 5 year old …or even 12 year old, yet where are the lines drawn? Do rules drop off as you get older?

I have thought that having House Rules that everyone abides by and a set of ‘Guidelines’ that drop off or get more flexible as a kid gets older. I, by no means, want to raise kids that are not allowed to make mistakes or make their own decisions…that would be just plain stupid…but at the same time the younger kids watch the elders and …want to act like them and have the freedom that they have.

We do not spy on the kids, nor do we overstep the bounds and get overly involved with the kids’ social lives…but we do have one or two kids in each of our children’s circle of friends that we know we can pry the truth from…our own little spy ring.

As I stated above, the kids are all great. They are honest, polite and are all doing exceptional in school. They all have great little groups of friends and have proven that they know right from wrong. BUT….they all seem to, from time to time, forget that we have rules….and they’ve completely forgotten what chores are.

With a 12 year old that ask to do or for something 500 times (instead of taking our first answer as ‘the ruling’), a 14 year old that ‘plays it by ear’ on a daily basis and ‘tells’ us what he is doing instead of asking…and an 18 year old that comes and goes, has boys sleep over and ‘forgets’ to check in on a regular basis….is making me think that we may all need to go back to family boot camp.

I feel as though I’ve been rambling in circles here so I am going to stop…the last thing that I am going to say is that I 100% endorse the notion that all children, no matter how old, need to know that they are not the boss…parents are and their rules and decisions need to be respected and not questioned or broken. I believe that it sends the message of security, strength and authority… and continues to teach them respect.

Things I Repeat, Say What? Things I Repeat

Apart from the above being one of my favourite jokes, those of an irritable ilk anyhow, I have come to realise that there are many parenting statements, or phrases, that I find myself saying a lot.

A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.

I thought I would put together a top ten, and see if anyone else is using the same, or has their own gems of reiteration.

Here goes;

1. Calm Down –

Used on a repeat-to-fade basis, between the hours of 7-30am and 7-30pm.

2. Settle Down –

Used on a repeat-to-fade basis, from 7-30pm until shut-eye status is achieved.

3. Focus on the positive –

A phrase I use when my son points out that things have not gone exactly as he had hoped, or if his every whim is not catered for within nanoseconds.

4. You Muppet –

Useful for moments just after my son has ignored my advice of focusing on the positive.

5. What do you want to eat/wear/do? –

My mistake ridden, glib, speaking before thinking. Everyone knows you need to give kids options, otherwise their answers will never do.

6. Are you on prescribed medication? –

An affectionate phrase spoken shortly after my son has confused me with his latest request or action, often followed with;

7. You are never right –

Again, affection unbound.

8. One or none? –

A question I pose when my son stretches the boundaries of reasonableness. When he demands two ice creams for example, I reiterate his options ‘one or none?’ (Can be used in conjunction with number 3)

9. You know the drill/we do this every day –

Reminding him that the routine is well established, and thus moaning about it will just lengthen the process

10. I love you –

Something I say to my boy, everyday, lots, and while he is responsible for this action, I am not holding it against him.

So there is my ten, I am sure to be revisiting this list, and probably have missed a few.

But, more importantly, what are yours?

Service with a smile

While eating dinner the other evening, my wife J- asked me for a napkin. I immediately reached for my own as she began an anecdote, and I quickly flicked it over toward her with two fingers, in my continuing effort to set the best possible example I can for the children.*

The napkin, folded just once in half, sliced up through the air and then zoomed straight down into her mouth like a sniper's bullet shot from an extremely handsome and talented gun.

Because this may already be the most perfect moment that will ever happen in my entire life, I can't help but feel a bit melancholy whenever I laugh hysterically all over again about the look on her face.

---

* I have to note here, in a footnote as long as the post itself, that she absolutely hates having things thrown towards her, since she's baselessly paranoid about her supposed inability to catch projectiles of any kind, so I'm not really sure why I chose to throw the napkin in the first place, but I admit I had no idea it had the weight and shape to perform this miracle.

She's actually not half-bad at catching, and not quarter-bad at throwing, though of course she's nowhere near the superhuman level at which I operate.

I think it must be my own freakish reflexes that lead me to constantly initiate spontaneous games of catch on a microsecond's notice. After all this time, J-'s been known to threaten me with severe bodily harm at seeing me do so much as raise my arm up with something in my hand.

Even she had to appreciate the beauty of this one, though. The kids sure did.

Posted by LiteralDan

Lessons learned

Things I've learned in the 8+ yrs I've been a dad...

• Be a good husband. Show his mom respect at all times
• Teach him to keep a secret
• Set a strict bedtime as he's growing up. Boys need their sleep
• Let him know that he's never too old to take a nap
• Don't let him sleep in your bed, even if he's scared or sick. Sleep on the floor in his room
• Teach him to garden. It involves 3 things boys love- dirt, digging, and water hoses
• Accept the fact he just might play with dolls. It's no big deal
• Ask him what he did today. Listen to his answers
• Teach him how to dial 911, when and why
• Show him how to throw a punch. Then raise him to never start a fight. And teach him to walk away
• Take him on hikes and show him how to ford a stream. Let him get wet and dirty
• Let him hang out with you. Remember, he has to be around you, to learn what being a man is all about
• Reassure him he won't die if he spills a little blood
• Take your son to work with you every once in a while. Pay as much attention to him as you do other people in the office
• Tell him sometimes you're wrong
• Give him responsibility
• Make sure he knows he's always safe at home
• Don't tolerate temper tantrums. Not now. Not when he's 15. The world won't
• Scream at him and you will raise a screamer
• Don't let him quit out of frustration. He won't learn anything
• His favorite game for a long time will be playing with you. Be available, even when you're tired. Even when the presentation went south. Be available
• Insist he play outside a lot. It's much healthier than watching TV or playing computer games
• Never forget that you can't hug or cuddle or kiss a young boy too much
• Never tell him boy don't cry. Ask him why he's crying
• Teach him to respect authority but not to be in awe of it
• Encourage friendships with the white kid, the black kid, and the oriental kid who can barely speak English
• Don't forget the point of sports when you're a kid is to have fun
• Last but not least: Teach him that he can pick his friends and he can pick his nose but he can't pick his friends nose! Bwahaha...
  

That's all for now.
[Many of these were taken from "Father to Son: Life lessons on raising a boy" by Harry Harrison. I'm not smart enough to learn all of this on my own.]

we know a lot of shit

As most of you already know from reading our posts, we HOT DADS are master scholars of varying areas of expertise. In short, we know a lot of shit. Because we are unselfish with our wisdom, we want to share our vast knowledge with you, our faithful readers.

This post will mark the beginning of a long, and hopefully, educational journey, which will plumb the depths of the minds of the Hot Daddy Bloggers – “Ask the Hot Dads”.

In this ‘column’ we will answer every single question that you submit. No rules, no strings attached. Ask us absolutely anything. Get to know us. Get to know men. Have a burning parenting question? Need an opinion? We’re here to help. It’s like therapy without the stigma, costly bills or outdated waiting room magazines.

We promise that for each question submitted, at least two of our highly skilled, and devilishly handsome, contributors will provide an answer. Some questions may be answered by all of us.

Be ready for blunt, truthful, no-holds-barred responses from “Our Hotness.” We are here to please and would not want to let any of youdown…in any way.

Questions should be submitted to tentcamper1 @ gmail.com and all thosethat are received by Thursday at 5PM Eastern will be answered in ournew Monday Morning “Ask the Hot Dads.

**Lastly ladies, in this economy, I am sure that it would not be hardfor me to convince the rest of the guys to do a nude Hot Dadcalendar…for the right price!

Shoulda Called It MILFy Mamas

I had this whole post written…and it was good as shit (well, not that shit is good per say, but you know…the saying.) Anyway, my computer froze up and had to be restarted…Yeah…I lost what I wrote.

So here goes a second attempt.

In our search for new additions to the Hot Mama recipient list, we have found several mommies whose humor, honesty, writing style and MILF-iness has earned them the infamous Hot Mama Award from us over here at Hot Dads. (Also, ManicMariah did mention that she was a bit lonely and that she’d love the company of a few more Hot Mamas.)

So…..without further ado, I’d like to announce that…

Redneck Mommy
Tenakim – MY Therapy
Barefoot Foodie
Jennsylvania
Scary Mommy

…are the newest recipients of this coveted award.

Now, please grab the award icon, place it on your blog, remove your pants and climb up on the podium with the first and foremost Hot Mama…ManicMariah.

(You girls MUST behave up there... you have a lot of people looking up to you now and you want to set a good example...right? but if you don't...who is going to be taking pictures?

We will get you added to our Hot Mama list once you have added our award/link to your blog.

*PLEASE NOTE - this is an ongoing search for the hottest mommy bloggers out there. suggestions should be pointed out to us on a regular basis.

Better things to worry about

Let me first say that I'm a big sports fan, and a fan of baseball in particular.

But seriously, could the media be making a bigger deal of the whole A-Rod steroids story?

Hell, I'm even a Yankee fan living in the Boston area, but I JUST. DON'T. CARE!

Of all of the things I worry about as a dad, talking to my kids about anabolic steroids is soooooo far down the list it might as well not be on the list at all.

And to be honest, I can totally understand why some athletes choose to take them and I DON'T condemn them for doing so. I went to high school with a very gifted athlete. Good enough to get a scholarship to a football factory college. While he was there he put on almost 50 lbs of muscle mass, which while I don't know it for a fact, I firmly believe that steroids played a part.

The result? An 8 yr NFL career, 3 trips to the Pro Bowl, and a $2million per year salary, for several years. Good for him.

After all, it's just a game. I think we as society put athletes too much on a pedestal as role models. Do we really need to care as much as we do about sports?

Shouldn't we as dads be the best role models for our kids?

[Yes, I recognize that my views on steroids is in contract to the principle of fair play. I'm ignoring that for now. Maybe some other day...]

Posted by Hubman