Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Feet, Baby Birds and Briefs

Per the request of @Sweet_Life at The Sweet Life, this post will be an overview of my thoughts on a few random subjects that she threw out to me. The subjects that I’ve been asked to elaborate on are; Stinky feet. Baby birds learning to fly. Girl Scout cookies. Black socks and sandals. Boxers vs briefs vs boxer briefs.

With my vast knowledge and expertise about pretty much everything, I will try to dumb it up a bit and use laymen’s terms so that you all can follow what I have to say.

Stinky feet – I’ll get straight to the point on this one…I HATE stinky feet! I am an all around kind of anti-foot kind of guy. I don’t like touching feet, don’t like people touching my feet…so a stinky foot, to me is revolting. Shit even writing about it…thinking about some stinky dirty feet is bringing me to the edge of vomiting. NASTY! Don’t get me wrong, I can look at feet (if they are cleaned up and pleasant) but I see no logical reason to touch them.

Baby birds learning to fly – In general, I have no dislike for birds (bats – I HATE) I have always kind of liked birds…excluding; pigeons, crows and vultures. I have, for the most part, been quite intrigued with many birds (Falcons, Eagles, Hummingbirds, Hawks, etc.) I remember as a child, sitting up in our neighborhood trees watching mother birds feed their babies just after hatching. It was even cooler when I got to see mommy nudge them out of the nest for their first ‘attempted’ flight. I was in awe…and yes, I was careful not to get too close or touch the nest. Now we have two birds. I HATE FREAKING BIRDS NOW!!!! They are noisy. They make a mess with their food. There are feathers and bird shit all over the house. As pets, their wings are clipped so that they can’t fly…so they can be poked, prodded, pulled, tweaked, held, squeezed and yes, showered with. I feel bad for these birds…but they have made me not like birds anymore.

Girl Scout cookies – I absolutely love the taste of almost all Girl Scout cookies…BUT…I have come to the conclusion that the whole cookie thing is an illegal scam that will be shut down by the DEA or Homeland Security one day. I am convinced that the cookies have cocaine or some other kind of addicting drug in them…by the frantic nature of how people act as soon as they hear that the cookies are on sale. Beyond that, hordes of 10 to 12 year old girls work the streets, go door to door, standing on street corners to sell their goods. I don’t know what is worse…sending these young girls out onto the streets and teaching them how to swindle people out of money (like national cookie sweat shops) or little girls pushing seemingly drug-laced baked goods in our faces.

Black socks with sandals – Northeastern Europe…AKA German people. I am not a fan of that fashion statement…and really do not understand the point. Maybe they don’t make white socks in Germany…maybe it never gets warm enough to wear sandals on bare feet where they come from. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! It goes into the same book as the men in Speedos at the beach, ‘big’ girls in spandex and belly shirts, black and Mexican men always wearing t-shirts to swim at the beach and people buying and putting clothing on their pets.

Boxers vs. briefs vs. boxer briefs – This one is simple:
Boxers – teenage boys
Briefs – gay men, body builders, cowboys and men who think that they are ‘all that’.
Boxer briefs – normal men who need a bit of support whilst not jamming one’s nuts up into their pelvis.


Missty said...

Happy Late 8th birthday to your son!! Whoo Hoo! And Yes he needs to have a big bike, look at him go!! He needs to play hard, and get sweaty and dirty like little boys can and do! He will will get scraped up and maybe a broken bone or two or stitches, but all part of being a growing boy! (mom to 4 of them!)

Love todays posts! LOL Hey I have another post you maybe interested in, click over and see it. Interesting for sure! Or should I say SCARY!

Missty said...

LOL Oops, you guys here may not want to see my post! I totally messed up and thought I was posting to another blog!! LOL See what happens when you blog hop!!

But hey still happy birthday to your son!

Amber said...

I had no idea nuts could make their way all the way up to the pelvis, how enlightening
I never did care for girl scout cookies

Anonymous said...

nuts in pelvis=bad.

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

You tackled them ALL! I'm impressed. So glad I could be of some help, and now I feel like I know all about you. See how that works?

OneZenMom said...

That was pleasingly random.

Socks with sandals is always, always always wrong. I'm kind of opposed to socks in general, actually.

Boxer briefs, though? Awesome. I've slowly been replacing my husband's briefs with boxer briefs for a while now. Gotta ease him into these things. :)

DGB said...

Girl Scout Cookies rule. The Girl Scouts who camp out in front of ATMs, however, are eeeeeeevil!

Trooper Thorn said...

Stinky Feet: I don't think anyone support stinky feet.

Baby Birds: They do make messes, so try to get to them while they are still in the eggs. They are much tastier.

Girl Guide Cookies: The chocolate and vanilla are delicious. Mint wafers are not GG cookies. Stop selling them!

Black socks with sandals: Almost as bad as cowboy boots with shorts.

Underwear: What about the thong?

OneZenMom said...


Trooper Thorn! Thin Mints are the bestest and most mouth-wateringly wonderful proof of divine in the universe.

And thongs aren't bad either.

Homer and Queen said...

I love girl scout cookies, however I have never had nuts crammed in my pelvis...wait...huh?

Mom said...

Hey now! I was a Girl Scout leader and the cookies are pure angelic goodness! :-)

Boxer briefs are hot, with a capital H!


Susan said...

I'm still wondering how the hell someone's brain can randomly come up with such topics???

You almost lost me at stinky feet, but I pushed through. Thanks for the nuts in the pelvis ending. Glad to know my husband falls into the "normal" category.

Anonymous said...

Ok... I completely agree that it should be a sin to make those innocent girls pray on us suckers. It is so true they only sell them a certain time of year to make us all think that we have to stock up! And the comment about setting up shop infront of the ATM that person must have a masters in marketing!!!

I think that Boxer Briefs are Sexy as Hell!!!!

TentCamper said...

Maybe I should start selling cookies infront of ATMs ...just wearing boxer briefs..

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