Happy Momma Day, Slides, Caption Contest, Funnies

Well first we here at Hotdads know without Momma's we wouldn't be dads, but we'd still be hot I reckon so Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there.

1. Lay the wood Tiger!





When you are down in the dumps and think you have real problems, just remember:

SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD,
THERE IS A POOR GUY NAMED MR. PELOSI!...

2. Lay the rope George!


Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

3. LOL I think that is a plan!



5. Y'all can have my seat at the Pu Pu eatery!


7. LOL


Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head
And a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. (Sounds like me!)

8. If your neck is just too short, this is a plan!

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

9. I do the same thing around boobies there lil man!

10. Well if your man and your kids didn't give you anything then here ya go. Some flowers from us to you!!


Caption contest............... surely y'all can come up with something!


Well there ya go. Steal whatcha wanna y'all have a great mothers day. Hit up Sageville, oh and you can enter my GIVE-AWAY as many times as you like! Awesome stuff there too! CHeck that out.

Happy Mothers day all.

Phillies Support Parents

On Wednesday, I posted a piece suggesting that the advent of digital music formats was responsible for the decline in proper teenage etiquette. Many of you supported that view, but lamented over a possible solution and a means of effective disciple. Well, just in time for Mother's Day, Major League Baseball's Philadelphia Phillies have announced a new program to do exactly that.
Parents are invited to bring their unruly kids to the ball park every Home Game Friday for a little High Voltage Old School Punishment during "Taze Dayz".












The first event featured only teenagers, but as you can see from the following photo, even younger children can participate.














For more Mother's Day Fun, swing over to Dogs & Jeans for some Demotivational Posters.

CD's Are Wrecking Our Kids.

My teenagers are slobs. I suspect your teenagers are slobs too. I blame CD's for this.

Back when I was a kid, we listened to music (and George Carlin) on RECORDS. Record ownership required respect and rules. You took care of the record jacket by keeping them organized in milk crates. If you were very particular, you had individual plastic sleeves to protect the record jacket.

To listen to the record, you pulled the inner sleeve out (careful to not drop any inserts if it was a Pink Floyd album). You held the record gingerly only on it's edge and placed it carefully on the turntable. Prior to playing, you cleaned the record. Then, with the precision of a surgeon, you set the needle on the spinning vinyl.

That kind of diligence carries on in life to your first car, first house, first pacemaker etc.

Over the course of a dating realtionship, couples lend each other sentimantal records. Breaking up always involved retrieving one's albums. This was such an odious process that it was better to stay together that have to divide the collection.

Then along came CD's and they were marketed as virtually indestructible. No care was required to listen to them. Disks could lie around on your bedroom floor, covered in mayonnaise and cat hair, and still play in your DiscMan.

Why should a kid learn about the value of taking care of something when that thing was a Frisbee one minute and playing Foo Fighters the next?

Now music is nothing more than MP3 files on iPods. Not only do kids never touch the songs, most of the time they don't even pay for them. Thanks for contributing to the diminished respect for the law Napster and Limewire.

Today when a couple breaks up, they don't need to return anyone's records. They just delete the songs. And the memories.

A Give Away? Ya Don't Say

Don't miss out on this GIVE-AWAY! Free stuff! How much is it? FREE thats how much. F-R-E-E! And easy! Like me! I am giving away these items in Sageville, hit that link to enter!!!!

*****OK I had to change the links because of an IP conflict so the links will take you to Sageville but go there and hit it up, easy, free, like me!

Ok so here is the straight skinny.

This fella Sean hit me up and said "Sage, the girls in the office have been telling me how damn beautiful you are, and while it is lost completely on me they made me contact you and see if you would give some stuff away for us."

Then I said "Talk to me"

He said " Man they want me to call you Sexy Wonderful Smart Sage but that just isn't right, so anyway we have these stores, like 250 of them and we would like you to give one of your wonderful awesome readers $75.00 gift certificate, or we would like for you to review something for our site."

I said" Whoa up there big Stroker. My folks are high falutin folks. We don't do anything for less that a $100.00 ever."

He said "well after the girls made me check out your blog I was clicking links on the side and man those ARE the hottest chicks I have ever seen! So ok they are surely worth $10000.00 but I am only authorized to do $75.00"

I Said "See ya"

He said : Wait wait wait waitttttttttttttttttttttttt "

So after a while he got the Council of leaders and rich folks together and they met and 11 hours later we had a deal for $100.00 gift certificate for me to give YOU!

FOR FREE

For real that is how I remember it. Along with the chicks in the office sending all these mails and such but we won't get into that! And since I never give up an anon contributor I will not tell you which one on the Boob-Quake girls is an office girl.......

Heres the deal.

They have all those stores with some good stuff. So you hit the link HERE then all you do is find something you would use the $100.00 to buy and you come back and tell me in the comments what it is. That gets you entered.

You tweet this post, come tell me, in a different comment that you tweeted, another entry.

You FB this post, you come back and tell me in a different comment that you did that, another entry.

Link this post in YOUR post on your blog(s) and come tell me and leave the link and another entry!

All those comments count as an entry. BUT the first comment has to be what you'd buy. And you can use the "what you'd buy" method 100 times if you want, each will count as long as the item is different.

YOU CAN ENTER AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. You simply comment as often as you'd like with a different item you would buy!!! So come on and lets do this!

Samples of items you can buy.

Got a baby? CSN can Hook a Momma UP!


Got a grill? CSN can hook a griller up! (they sell the whole grill too!)


Some of y'all vegitablarians would like this fan! Where you gonna get a fan like that? CSN that is where!


That is a mirror. What kind? A damn fancy one thats what! Where you get it? CSN


Ahem. Coffee whore amongst us? Or some of that sissified coffee with cool whoop and jelly beans and cow tongue or whatever they put in it now drinker out there? You know where CSN!




Dont fret it any if the item is more then use the $100.00 against the item and pay the difference. If it has shipping you pay that. There are MANY items that ship free for under $100.00 so it will be all the way free! What beats free. Nottadamnthing! thats what!

Hey they have man stuff too. Get your dood to enter too.

HERE is the link to all their categories! You can choose from ANY category! Come on people don't let me down! My man Sean said we would do it again and again if y'all hit it, so come onnnnnnnnnnn now!

This one is easy folks I promise you you can get good stuff for no money out of your pocket. Hell I was getting those pics and they have every frickin thing! Check it out. Pitch till you win!

They offered some stuff for me just to review, but I didn't take it I chose to let y'all have a shot at it so shoot! The give-away will go on a couple weeks, so don't be shy!

Always read the fine print too.
*** Naughty pics will NOT help you win this prize***
but it won't HURT you any either!

There ya go. Y'all hit that. Cool stuff for real. I posted in the Real World today about vacations, hit that!

Big FREE Sexy is out.

Boob-Quake 2010

Boob-Quake anyone? What is more in line with Hotdads?



Hit that in Sageville.

Check it out!

W-O-W

Crack Kills

Found this little gem while editing my backlog of old photos.

Student Aid Headache for a Two-Home Family

My teen daughter heads to college this fall, and we are busily dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s on necessary enrollment forms. (My funny college application essay must have gotten lost in the shuffle, because she actually got into a good school!)

The biggest hurdle for us as parents is funding her education. As such, we’re filling out the FAFSA – Free Application for Federal Student Aid. Whether she gets Federal aid or not isn’t the issue; pretty much every university financial aid office expects the form to be filled out before you can even apply for a student loan.

Only problem – the online FAFSA hasn’t been playing nice, especially with our daughter’s two-home living situation.

It started earlier this year when I filled out the FAFSA4caster – an online form that helps you predict how much aid you might qualify for. When the real FAFSA goes live, you can transfer all your data from the FAFSA4caster. Pretty cool, right?

Um, not exactly.

As a divorced single dad with majority (by one day) custody of my daughter, it was my responsibility to deal with the forms. I spent hours filling out the FAFSA4caster, only to discover it could only transfer data to last year’s FAFSA form. I asked FAFSA online chat help operators to assist me, and they told me it should work fine. It didn’t. When I finally reached someone on the phone, that FAFSA person said it didn’t work, after all, and I’d have to input all the data again.

Oy.

When I filled out the actual FAFSA, it went a little quicker. Only problem, both the parent and student have to “sign” it with an electronic pin ID – which you apply for separately. I had mine, but my daughter didn’t have hers yet, and she was at her mom’s house when I filled all this out. When she finally applied for and received her pin, we went online to submit the form –

And all my financial data was missing. WTF? Hours of my time went wasted again.

Meanwhile, my ex-wife was looking into her part of the financial aid equation. Many universities want financial data from both divorced parents, no matter which claims the child on tax returns. It wasn’t clear to my ex that you only fill out the FAFSA once, for the student, and not twice (once for each parent). Who can blame her - is anything in a government process clear?

My ex-wife logged into the FAFSA system, reset her password – and all my financial data showed up in her FAFSA account.

W-T-F ?????!!!!!!!

Thankfully, she didn’t delete all that information, and I hadn’t yet input it a third time. She and I spoke on the phone and sorted it out. She tried changing the password back, but that made the data disappear again. We found by keeping her password, my data was there just fine.

So now we’re now using an online FAFSA form with my financial data and my ex-wife’s password for my daughter’s application.

The lesson: only fill out ONE FAFSA for your student. Period. Don't pass Go. Don't collect $200. And be sure to use your Get Out of Jail Free card whenever you like.

Before I fill out another government form online, I’d like to have a cocktail in hand. Can someone shake up my best margarita recipe? It’s nearly cinco de mayo, after all. Tequila should help those government forms go down, real good. Don’t you think?

And just in case, why don’t you shake up that margarita recipe for my ex-wife, too.

Follow Dad's House on Facebook. Or just go straight to his single parent blog. Or not. Hell, just have a margarita, and call it day!