Live Free Or Die

For those of you who no nothing about the great state of New Hampshire...where I grew up... Check this out!!



Who many of you have been to NH?
...And if you have not been there...you want to go now...right?!

Happy Easter!

Here's hoping all y'all have a big Easter!

























A Happy Easter to you and yours from the Hotdads.

Sunday Slides, Funnies,Caption Contest

BEE STING
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf
When she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return
To the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and
Asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'

'I was stung by a bee', she said.

'Where', he asked.

'Between the first and second hole', she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said,
'Then your stance is too wide.'

bwhahahahahaha



1. LOL, anyone wanna eat at Phuket?














2. Lol I think that IS her dad!













3. AMEN to that!











4. LOL LOL My computer says that too!















5. Some bosses need to read that!





It's not difficult to make a woman happy.





A man only needs to be:










1. a friend
2. a companion
3.. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17.. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38.. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes













HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked






2. Bring alcohol








6. LOL that is funny right there!



















7. All y'all saw it too!
















8. Home remedies, you saw it here first.









Sage Bubba is driving down a back road in Alabama .

A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL

Lobster Tail and Beer

"Lord a' mighty," he says to himself, "my three favorite things!"






Caption Contest! Come on folks, someone can come up with something good for my poor assed kin folks! Give it your best shot.





Well I figured I'd post this today, y'all have a big ole Easter and be careful on the roads!
Go see what the Real World has going on!


Is out!

Who's the Most Compassionate?

As part of my teen son’s church confirmation celebration, there was a potluck dinner for all the families involved. At the dinner, one parent from each family told the group what made their child so special. My ex-wife / co-parent spoke about our son, and I was struck by one thing she said:

"Our son is the most compassionate member of the family."

That made me chuckle. My son is a good kid, and where children and divorce are concerned, he's especially doing well. But compassionate? Compassion means you genuinely don’t want others to suffer. The Dalai Lama is compassionate. Mother Teresa was compassionate. My first girlfriend post-divorce was compassionate.

But my son? He’s the kid who will eat a King-Sized Hershey bar in front of his sister and me, and not give us a single bite, even if we’re begging for a nibble. He’s the one who will loudly blow his conch shell over and over again while his sister is studying for a final exam. He’s the one who will borrow my tools to build some cool project in the backyard, then leave those tools outside in the rain for a week before I notice they’re missing.

I reminded him of all that, and told him he wasn’t even close to being most compassionate in our family.

“Fine, then who is?” he asked.

“Me,” I said. “I cook for you guys (and not just homemade hamburgers), pay the mortgage, shop for whatever you need.”

“You’re the parent, you’re supposed to do that. So none of that counts.”

“Well, I’m still pretty nice.”

“You tell me to get off the computer when I’m doing homework so you can do a blog post,” he said. “What’s more important – my education or your blog? And you also tell me to stop enjoying my TV show and make me take out the trash, or clean the bathroom. All those things make me suffer. You’re the opposite of compassionate.”

Interesting arguments, I’ll give him that.

“Okay, then your sister is most compassionate,” I said.

“You mean when she puts me in a headlock and gives me a wedgie for no reason at all?”

That sounded pretty harsh, and not very compassionate. I've said before, I'm not raising a princess. But still.

“Are you sure it was for no reason?” I asked.

“Well, I did eat her Toblerone that she’d been saving since Christmas. But she wasn't eating it. And I was hungry, which means I was suffering. If she was compassionate, she would have been fine with me eating it. In fact, she would have given me another!”

All right, so maybe none of us rate as most compassionate. But with creative arguments like that, my son will make one hell of an attorney some day.

Enjoy this post? Tell your Facebook friends you like Dad's House!

How do you stay on top of your email?

So in preparation of us leaving to camp for a few days, I went into Mariah's email to print out our reservation confirmation.

I was immediately in shock! I could not believe that I was seeing what I was seeing. Does this really happen to people?!

**Please take a look at the number of unread messages!!!! (over 37,000) WTF!?

I hope there are no emails in there from a sick old friend or someone who needs help in some way....they'll be waiting a LONG time!!

I have to admit that I came very close to spending a few hours deleting and organizing...but I knew that she'd hang my ass out to dry for organizing HER shit.

Caption Contest, Funnies

Last Call on the best, easiest give-away in the universe, HERE.


Master Card Wedding
You got to love this guy....
This is a true story about a recent wedding
that took place at Clemson University .
It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.


After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to than k everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.


He especially wanted to thank the bride's family and his f amily and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.


Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out
about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in f ront of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000.

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things mo ney can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD



A Mastercard Wedding

'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,
it's more like a jar of Jalapenos-- what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow......



1. Ok ladies steal this and post it on your blog.













2. That is just silly.


















Health tip of the day

If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

My present and future financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of…

Barack Obama

Joe Biden

Harry Reid

Nancy Pelosi

Tim Geithner

Rahm Emmanuel

Chris Dodd

and Barney Frank!

If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.

There is no need to thank me for this advice; I'm just doing it as a public service.

3. Go Toger, you tell em.
















"BAIL EM OUT! ????

Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country, our banking system, our auto industry and possibly our health plans to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey!"





4. Just in case you are tired of eating hard balls?!?!?!













5. Amen to that.
















6. The toilet paper isle or the athletic gear isle? Where to go first?













7. Yes yes a nice kitchen!





















8. Ha, and true too!








Caption Contest, give it your best shot!

















Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman. She asked me if I liked breasts or legs. I told her what I really liked was a shaved snatch.

Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC.

bwhahahahaahaha

There ya go hit the give-away, gimmie your best caption, strip naked and run around your house and have a big ole Sunday!

Pick up lines, what works?

First things first Didja hit the best ever Blog Easter Bunny Giveaway?

Lets talk about pick up lines shall we?

Well I went and hung out with some of my old skool boys the other night, drank beer, ate steak, played pool drank more beer, then we drank beer and we talked smack too, stopping only to drink beer.

The place we met was one of the guys dad owns some land and sells hunts and has a lodge and a lounge that he feeds up the hunters and such, it is an old old tobacco barn that they re-did the inside of. Its the first time I had been in there and look at the pic on the wall!!! I signed it for them but I figured I'd take YOU a picture.



All of the guys were older than me, all of my friends were older than me all through school. Well the one closest to my age is one of my main running buddies back in the day and he started me telling stories and prompting me to tell things etc. The Waylon story, everyone had heard more than once but I had to tell it again.

Well there are a bunch of stories y'all would like but the ones that stuck in my mind for this post was the "pick up lines" they liked so good. J would build it up about what went down in this or that juke and what the chicks looked like or whatever and then he'd let me take it from there. Well I never really had "pick up lines" because I seldom if ever approach any chicks (If I told why y'all would shake your head and think to yourself "Only Sage would say that and believe it"). So they weren't really pick up lines as much deal closing lines.

Though in Tampa one time when I was playing ball and 21 I did win the best line contest in a huge assed bar, the biggest one I have ever been in but thats a story for another time.

My most profitable closing.

To set the scene there would be people at the juke that I knew or the dood(s) I was with knew. (Just a note, I'd never take a girl to a juke, that makes no sense to me, if you were going fishing would you take a bucket of fresh caught TO the damn pond?) So anyway people know people, know people, know people so there was sure to be a hot chick or two to choose from that I had met during the course of the night. (another note, I never ever closed early in the night, it was usually around 1 an hour before closing before I ever chose and hit up, if you close early then there is no reason to stay!) so when it was time I'd just say to the chosen one.............

me "Hey girl I just heard you won...."

Her" huh?"

me "you won!"

Her "I did?? What did I win?"

Me " An all expenses paid one night stay at the Sand Castle"

Her "OMG Really??"

Me "Yeah thats what they said"

Her "Sweet! Umm Whats the Sand Castle?"

Me " Thats where the Sandman is gonna make your dreams come true...."

Her " puzzled look, giggle giggle" (if they ever giggled it was over for em, after all it is the second best thing a dood can make a chick do)

Me sticking out hand to shake " Hello Sunshine I'm the Sandman, nice to meet you...."

the answer to your questions are all YES, yes that worked, yes that worked WAY more than not, yes I'm serious, and yes it took game to pull off but I had game.

Tell me how a guy scored you in the past? The best you ever heard? The worst you ever heard? Maybe I'll tell you the best/worst pick up line won the contest story after we hear what worked or was tried on you!

Y'all have a big ole weekend!
is out! (you can hit that link and get in on the Education discussion (Saturday) or some NSFW pics on Sunday.