The Boy and the Pine Forest - One day, his parents drove him several hours outside of the city and the place that he knew as home. They passed by meadows, farms and forests on the way t...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Eight months after my wife and I separated, friends introduced me to a woman who became my first serious girlfriend, post divorce. I was 37 at the time, and she was 28. Hints of an older men younger women dating relationship, but that's not what I found attractive in her. I was drawn to her vibrant feminine energy and enthusiasm for life.
Divorce was the most painful experience I ever endured. Even though my wife and I parted amicably, and made it a priority to put the kids first and co-parent as best we can, it took years to process the emotional demolition of our marriage.
Problem was, when I met my first post-divorce girlfriend, I hadn't even started the divorce detox process.
I was like Jon Gosselin dating like crazy, except I was out on the town with different women 3 nights a week. I kept telling myself I was trying to find someone to bring around the kids, but in hindsight I now see that was me deluding myself. Dating after divorce, I was sowing my wild oats, plain and simple.
And then I met this woman who became my girlfriend. She helped me become aware of my spiritual self, how we're all connected in the universe. How we're all part of one song. I wanted to see the world through her eyes. But of course, I had to see them through my own.
Could I have dated someone older? I doubt it. At the time, I was not ready for a "real" relationship. Oh, I thought this girlfriend was the one - she eventually met my kids, helped me pick out a house, showed me how to get in touch with my feelings. I fully intended to marry her.
But we pushed each other's buttons like crazy.
Fast forward ten years. I'm still single, but I'm wiser for the wear. I've been in some great long-term relationships, enjoyed some short-term flings, dated some women seriously, had more than a few one-night-stands.
Would I change anything? I'd like to see my kids every day. But other than that, no I would not. I've grown in ways that would not have been possible had I stayed married.
In case you're curious, I'm still looking for a younger woman to enter my life. Not tons younger, and not for the stereotypical disfunctional divorced male reasons. It's just this: when I was married, I was younger than my wife.
Now I'm at a point in life where I need to be the older person in the relationship.