Thursday, October 8, 2009

A Young Man's Game

I am not a 24 year old, though I often wish that I was. I want to indulge in the lifestyle of my youth but I cannot. I feel like Tom Hanks in Big, a young man trapped in the body of somebody who's much older with much more responsibility than I should.

It's not that I'm decrepit. Sometimes the wants of the younger me conflict with the needs of the elder me. Take for example this Halloween weekend. My favorite band is coming to Southern Califorina to play a 3 day festival. It sounds completely awesome and is something that if my life were completely my own I wouldn't hesitate to do. But my life no longer belongs to me alone. It's Halloween weekend and there is no way I could or would miss out on that day with my kids. They could be crushed. I'm kind of bummed to have to miss it, but honestly it's for the best. They're probably saving me in the long run because the physical toll of three days of living like it's Woodstock would most likely take weeks to recover from.

I have to face the sad fact that I can't bounce back like I used to. I was talking with a friend of mine about the old days when we would say up till dawn with Red Bull and booze coursing through our veins. She's still single and mentioned that we should all go out like that again. I looked at her as if she had more than the normal amount of appendages. We didn't even start those nights till 10pm. Most nights these days, I'm passed out on the couch by 10:30, Family Guy reruns playing in the background while a small line of drool runs down my face. (Sexy image, huh ladies?)

I still think like a young man, but I traded in that lifestyle the day the first umbilical cord was cut. Kids don't care if you've been up all night. They won't stop soiling their diapers just cause you're hung over. Their hunger doesn't subside cause you need a nap.

What about you? What do you miss most from your pre-parent lives?


SciFi Dad said...

Like you, I miss being able to function on no sleep and pure will.

Now I can't summon the will to get off the couch and go to bed some nights.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I miss just being able to say Wanna go away this weekend? and packing into the car. We do still do that but now it involves about twenty potty stops, three pounds of snacks, sippy cups, toys and a minivan. It just isn't the same you know?

Scandalous Housewife said...

You're right to simply surrender to parenthood. However, when the kids become teens and they start staying up all night and sleeping til noon, you'll get your second wind! Be patient!

Nonflammable said...


TentCamper said... speak the truth my man!!

I miss the ability to spontaneously do things with my woman! camping, fishing, etc all has to patiently sit on the back burner.

That being said...I would not trade having kids for the ability to do those things at will. My kids give me more joy...a different joy...but joy all the same.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

SciFi...There are some nights I wish that I could just stay on the couch all night, cause it seems easier in the moment to stay there than to drag my carcass 30 feet to my bedroom.

Andrea...Amen sister.

SH...So there is hope? Good.

Nonflammable...What is this "sleep" you mention?

TC...You summed it up right there.

Janie Woods said...

Scandalous is right on track...With teens, you do get your second wind. I found myself recently drinking beer by the firepit with one of our neighbors. As the sun peaked over the horizon, we were both, "What the hell time is it??" 0430...Holy cow. I had to be up 7 to get a BBQ together for The Man's birthday. Sucked and that first beer was ROUGH but we did a repeat that night!!

Danielle said...

Oh, I miss being able to go to the bathroom in private, take a bath alone, sleep in past 7, read a book, get ready in less than an hour to go anywhere, run a quick errand, go to the gym on a whim. I could go on, yet I won't.
I also wouldn't trade my little one for any of.

Missty said...

I know you don't want to hear this but... with kids it really goes by so fast!

Our youngest now is 17 and we can do pretty much whatever we want. And really it gets me sad, when I realize I am not sewing halloween costumes right now. Or packing all the boys up to go camping, now we go alone, and it is incredible. But we do say "oh I wish the boys were with us to see_____"

So all those pre-parent things, can and do come back really very fast. We just went to a great concert... all alone last weekend. It was fantab-u-lous. So keep that list of what you want to do and in a few short years you can be young again. Really.

Trooper Thorn said...

I didn't realize the Lawrence Welk Band had enough energy to play a three day concert.

ZenMom said...

Oh gawd, good timing.

You know I went to that Barenaked Ladies concert last night? (Which was freakin' awesome, btw.)

After the concert, we went to a club where a friend of mine works to just hang out for a little while. (I can't even tell you the last time I went to a club. Talk about feeling old! Everybody there looked like they were 12, I swear!)

So, we got home after 1 a.m. and I crashed hard. And I was hating life this morning!

Even though I was designated driver and therefore did not have even one drink - this morning I felt like I had a huge hangover - just from the lack of sleep!

I'm still fighting a headache.

Note to self: Self, you are no where near as young as you used to be.

dadshouse said...

I miss having energy, and my body bouncing back quickly after I've destroyed it.

Keep in mind, once your kids are older and off having fun on their own, being a dad on the couch with a cocktail in hand isn't such a bad thing.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I'm still Young, just shy over 24 ;) So I'll let you know when I get up there!

LOL, I kid.

I miss going to dance every day. I loved it, it consumed my life, but I still loved it.

It's not as cool to be a Mom out there on the dance floor taking class with younger girls who can stretch farther than you and turn like there is no tomorrow. Plus they can scarf down a double cheeseburger and not even blink twice while I twiddle with my salad.

Just saying...

Daddy Geek Boy said... had me a "fire pit"

Danielle...the bathroom is the one place where I can catch a break for a few minutes.

Missty...Thanks. Is it wrong that my list is like 5 pages long already?

Trooper...You know Tiny Bubbles is my fave. Wonder if they'll play it on night 1 or 3?

Zen...At least you went out. That's the most important thing.

Dadshouse...mmmm cocktail on the couch. Know what I'm doing tonight.

Shelle...Twiddle with your salad? Um, aren't you supposed to eat it? :)

Derek said...

I miss being able to leave the house on time, without 17 bags of stuff plus enough food and drink for a week...

chocdrop said...

I initially would have said sleep. But I did realize that just being able to be an adult to come and go without time limits (not that it had to be at night).

Love my kids and they are now older, so it is easier.

Great post

alive_she_cried said...

I'm with 1)sleep and 2)coming and going as I please. I have a teen and a seven year old, so it's gonna be a while before I can live for myself again.

But they've saved my life. I wouldn't trade them for any amount of freedom.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Derek...My day to day bag load is getting easier, but man do we have a lot of shit to pack when we go anywhere for more than a day.


Alive...I agree. It's easy to mourn what is lost, but it's even easier to look at what is gained by having kids.

Anonymous said...

The day to day bag load may be getting lighter for a short time, but it doesnt last long!

For me it went from a diaper bag with a change of clothes, diapers and a sippy cup to now having a change of clothes for practice, and extra pair of shoes for sports, backpacks, volley ball, knee pads, and water bottles everyday.

I love my kids, but I miss being able to roll out of bed and in 30 minutes be out the door now I get up two hours early to get a shower while the water is still hot, make breakfast and get everyone ready.

Barefoot Dreamer said...

I think of this often. I miss spontaneity. That when we thought we were soooo busy - we really weren't. That 4 little one's dictate our lives now grinds on me at times. Sleeping in is huge, as is cooking for pleasure and not knowing that whatever I make will be rejected.

Relaxing in general.

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