When a mistress goes from "victim" to "target"

"I want to say to the rest of the country, 'Stop taking it out on the mistresses and start taking it out on the men who are cheating on their wives.' Why are these men getting off scot free while the mistresses are considered whores, and we're stepped on and we're booed and we're called nasty names? It's the man's responsibility, they're the ones in the marriage, they need to keep their vows. It's very easy to say, 'You know what I'm a married man.' They can easily walk away." - Michelle "Bombshell" McGee

This quote really bothers me.

For those unaware, McGee is the original mistress of Jesse James who crawled out of the woodwork to tell the world that she was sleeping with Sandra Bullock's husband. She then went on to say that she did it all because of the potential money that she'd earn from telling the story. Now she's wondering why she's the one being attacked.

I can tell you why...she's a whore.

And no, she's not a whore because she slept with a married man. This is absolutely James' fault because he was the married man and couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Much like Tiger Woods, he deserves every bit of the ridicule that has been thrown his way. The guy didn't just make a mistake and cheat on his wife once...he cheated multiple times with multiple partners, showing a complete and utter lack of respect for his spouse. He's slimy and has earned his new reputation for being as such.

No...McGee is a whore because she's whoring herself out for a few bucks. She didn't tell her story to simply break the news to help out Bullock in any way. She waited until Bullock won her Academy Award and rode that wave of high-profile fan-love until, like a viper, she struck at the most opportune time. She went out of her way to hurt Bullock in the worst way imaginable for her own personal gain.

And she's surprised at why the media and the public is attacking her.

Here's the thing...people can see through bullshit. And if you're going to break the news to the world that you're sleeping with a married man, and that married man is married to one of the most beloved celebrities in the country, and you're selling this story for money...then you better be prepared for the storm of attention that comes your way.

The primary victim here? The person who was actually cheated on. Sandra Bullock...Elin Woods...these are the women who were cheated on multiple times by their asshole spouses. They are the people who don't deserve this attention on them...and for the most part, the tabloid websites have been quite kind to them.

The secondary victims? Yes...the mistresses. Let's be honest, 90% of the mistresses of both Woods and James knew EXACTLY what they were getting themselves into...and they can cry and whine to the media all they want about how they were treated, but the fact of the matter is that they knowingly slept with married celebrities. So I have zero sympathy for them. Sell your stories to the tabloids and go away.

But yes, there are some mistresses who don't like being called that. They were "girlfriends" of James and Woods...they were told, and believed, that there were marriage issues and were seriously hurt when the truth was finally revealed. So I absolutely feel for these women as they were lied to by two unbelievable douchebag cheaters.

So when does one turn from being a "victim" to being a "target"? Do you feel sorry for Bombshell McGee? What about any of Tiger's girls on the side? Do they deserve sympathy? If so, which ones? All of them?

Can You Overcome Cheating?

Tiger Woods

David Letterman

Leann Rimes

Shaquille O'Neal

Charlie Sheen

Fred Flintstone (please...he TOTALLY was bangin' Betty on the side)

There is obviously a problem with celebrity men and their libidos. I mean, it would take all of 60 seconds to add another five names to that list (and not just men, either!). So the question isn't why people cheat, because they do. There are a thousand different reasons for a thousand different people who have cheated on a spouse or significant other. You simply can't put a finger on it and call it a day.

But what about us "regular folk"? I know that people cheat every day. It's just a sucky fact of life. Does everybody cheat? No...but even a couple of my favorite bloggers have admitted to infidelity issues in the past. So it's obviously not just an issue for the rich and famous.

David Letterman's wife has apparently decided to work with him to maintain their marriage. Tiger Woods' wife seems destined for divorce. Where would YOU stand if you found out that your significant other was cheating on you?

Is there a way that a person could gain forgiveness for an indescretion? What if it was just a one-night stand? What if it was a long-term relationship that they want to end to remain with you? Is your case simply a one-strike-and-you're-out rule? Depending on the situation, can you find in your heart to forgive?

Maybe the term "overcome cheating" is wrong. Maybe it makes cheating sound okay but that there's a work-around of some sort that helps one "overcome" obstacle that arise from cheating. Maybe this should be turned around on the victim...the person who was actually cheated on.

What would it take for you to get over your significant other cheating on you?

And what's more, why does "celebrity cheating" get so much bloody attention? Why are infidelities publicized so much? My thought is that paparazzi sites like TMZ.com want to prove to the world that celebrities are human, too...so maybe they shouldn't be admired or looked up to afterall. In that sense, I suppose I don't have too much of a problem with the coverage. On the other hand, TMZ is so bloody sleezy that it's difficult to read sometimes. They just go for the jugular and have zero issue with the shoddy "journalism" they provide the public.

Of course, in Tiger's case maybe it's justified (my last count was 14!!).

So how 'bout it Hot Dad readers? Have you ever been cheated on? Could you overcome someone cheating on you? What if you cheated on somebody you loved? How would you get forgiveness? Could you get it??

Hey everyone, Sage here, CBG graciously allowed me to add to his post. There is a Hot Mamma who could REALLY use a lil love about right now, so why don't y'all hit her up and give a hug or someting Sandi, thanks in advance!!!

Should Tiger and Elin Stay Married?

The Tiger Woods affair scandal hit the covers of US and People magazines this week, making it important news to grocery shoppers. (And we all need groceries!) I don’t know Tiger Woods, nor have a clue what he was thinking while committing “transgressions” that let down his family. Whether those alleged events happened with one woman or nine is only conjecture to everyone but him.

I won't judge the man, but I do think the alleged details of this affair scandal provide talking points for any married or divorced couple. Should a couple stay married after an affair or sexy arrangement?

In fairness to Tiger and Elin, let’s keep this discussion philosophical, firmly rooted in rumors and reports of alleged events. Anything written below should assume to be “alleged”. I sure as hell don’t need a lawsuit. But as a divorced single parent, I am fascinated by what keeps couples together, and what tears them apart.

Should Tiger and Elin stay married?

Before we start, let’s review the traditional wedding vows:

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Yes, Marriage is Forever!

Some see marriage as a spiritual bond. Countries outside the U.S. tend to look the other way when affairs occur. Staying married is the best thing for Tiger Woods’ children. Who needs another broken home? Besides, the wedding vows explicitly promise to stick together for better or worse.


No, Throw the Bastard Out!

An affair breaks the wedding vows. Having a discreet affair is not loving and cherishing your partner, it’s utter contempt and disrespect. Plus, what’s with the prenup Tiger had Elin sign? Didn’t that break the for richer, for poorer part of the vow before they even got hitched?

(One blogger wondered why Tiger didn’t just put his mistresses on a payroll, and keep them happy the old school way. Doh!)

I don’t condone affairs, but I know there are plenty of reasons given for having one.

• One spouse turns all their affections to the children, and the other feels neglected and seeks love and affection from someone else, if only for a night.

• One spouse has an ego the size of a planet, like they’re the greatest golfer on earth, and they feel they are above societal and spiritual rules, and can do whatever the hell they want.

• One spouse badgers and berates the other, until the other seeks love and affection from someone else… (sell bullet point 1)

• Nature took its course, and who are we to go against nature when nature tells us to shag a Vegas cocktail waitress?

Bringing it all back to Tiger and Elin and any alleged transgressions that occurred: Should Tiger and Elin stay married?

Yes: Tiger is a good role model, and deep down a good man. Elin does not have anger management issues; she really did use that golf club to rescue him, not attack him. (Some single moms suggested she should have used a bigger iron, or a baseball bat, or let others join in. Oy.) Tiger and Elin can put this behind them. It’s best for the kids if they work it out and stay together.

No: Celebs aren't role models. Tiger is an asshole. Nine women over the course of several years, all while projecting a perfect image so he can reap hundreds of millions in endorsements? (Were they the back nine? Ha. Can the drummer give me a rim shot!) All Tiger cares about is himself. Why else is Tiger throwing money at Elin and every mistress to keep quiet? Bastard should burn in hell.

Like I said – we don’t really know what Tiger did, or how Elin reacted. But assuming the worst – should they stay married?

Hell, can they?

Tiger and Elin image uploaded to flickr by Higherimages, some rights reserved.