Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Should Tiger and Elin Stay Married?

The Tiger Woods affair scandal hit the covers of US and People magazines this week, making it important news to grocery shoppers. (And we all need groceries!) I don’t know Tiger Woods, nor have a clue what he was thinking while committing “transgressions” that let down his family. Whether those alleged events happened with one woman or nine is only conjecture to everyone but him.

I won't judge the man, but I do think the alleged details of this affair scandal provide talking points for any married or divorced couple. Should a couple stay married after an affair or sexy arrangement?

In fairness to Tiger and Elin, let’s keep this discussion philosophical, firmly rooted in rumors and reports of alleged events. Anything written below should assume to be “alleged”. I sure as hell don’t need a lawsuit. But as a divorced single parent, I am fascinated by what keeps couples together, and what tears them apart.

Should Tiger and Elin stay married?

Before we start, let’s review the traditional wedding vows:

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Yes, Marriage is Forever!

Some see marriage as a spiritual bond. Countries outside the U.S. tend to look the other way when affairs occur. Staying married is the best thing for Tiger Woods’ children. Who needs another broken home? Besides, the wedding vows explicitly promise to stick together for better or worse.


No, Throw the Bastard Out!

An affair breaks the wedding vows. Having a discreet affair is not loving and cherishing your partner, it’s utter contempt and disrespect. Plus, what’s with the prenup Tiger had Elin sign? Didn’t that break the for richer, for poorer part of the vow before they even got hitched?

(One blogger wondered why Tiger didn’t just put his mistresses on a payroll, and keep them happy the old school way. Doh!)

I don’t condone affairs, but I know there are plenty of reasons given for having one.
  • One spouse turns all their affections to the children, and the other feels neglected and seeks love and affection from someone else, if only for a night.
  • One spouse has an ego the size of a planet, like they’re the greatest golfer on earth, and they feel they are above societal and spiritual rules, and can do whatever the hell they want.
  • One spouse badgers and berates the other, until the other seeks love and affection from someone else… (sell bullet point 1)
Bringing it all back to Tiger and Elin and any alleged transgressions that occurred: Should Tiger and Elin stay married?

Yes: Tiger is a good role model, and deep down a good man. Elin does not have anger management issues; she really did use that golf club to rescue him, not attack him. (Some single moms suggested she should have used a bigger iron, or a baseball bat, or let others join in. Oy.) Tiger and Elin can put this behind them. It’s best for the kids if they work it out and stay together.

No: Celebs aren't role models. Tiger is an asshole. Nine women over the course of several years, all while projecting a perfect image so he can reap hundreds of millions in endorsements? (Were they the back nine? Ha. Can the drummer give me a rim shot!) All Tiger cares about is himself. Why else is Tiger throwing money at Elin and every mistress to keep quiet? Bastard should burn in hell.

Like I said – we don’t really know what Tiger did, or how Elin reacted. But assuming the worst – should they stay married?

Hell, can they?

Tiger and Elin image uploaded to flickr by Higherimages, some rights reserved.

26 comments:

The Peach Tart said...

I think if there was one transgression it would be easier to forgive than the multitude of women who are surfacing. I pray that they can work through this.

Hubman said...

I cheated on Veronica, once. Our marriage is better than ever, in part because of the discussions we had after she found out what I did.

That being said, if I was Elin I'd have a tough time getting past 9 (and counting) affairs. I'll be amazed if they stay together.

Of course, if I was Elin, I'd never leave the house either, because I'd be playing with my tits all day :-)

Hilly said...

If he had only cheated on her once, I could see the whole forgiveness and staying married thing. However, he's had multiple women all over the place and that's just too hard to forgive. Um well, maybe not hard to *forgive* for a really zen person but it is damned hard to *forget*. If he were my husband, there is no way I could trust him again. It's hard enough to rebuild trust after one affair.

Of course, damned if staying married to him for the money isn't enticing. ;)

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Yes Tiger is an ass. He had it all, an awesome sports career, beautiful family and bazillions of dollars and he threw it all away to feed that ego. Granted there are marriages that are open but it does not seem that their marriage was one. Elin should take what she deserves and leave. I don't recommend staying for the children if the environment is going to be volatile, however if they can co-parent amicably by all means stay for the sake of the children - but keep in peaceful

Sundar said...

Maybe I am clueless. Heck, I am sure I am clueless. But I am still puzzled as to how the events of that night fit in with the transgressions. Did she hit him, and therefore the lacerations? Did he actually hit the fire hydrant? The media has totally gone ape-shit over this, but nothing they are saying is making much sense in terms of connecting the dots of that night. Could somebody enlighten me? Please?

Becky said...

i agree with previous commenters...1 affair is a lot easier to forgive than 9. broken homes suck but what kinda marriage can they have after this? if it were me, i'd be outta there.

MindyMom said...

I'm in agreement with many of the others here. Once is a mistake and an opportunity to learn, grow and rebuild and maybe even come out stronger for it. Nine (and counting) though? That's a pattern of behavior and I don't know how you could ever trust again. Without trust you don't have a marriage; you have an arrangement.

Brandy said...

Some things are forgiveable, especially if there were problems beforehand. BUT it's too extreme when the affairs are in the double digits.

I think that's just too much to come back from. And frankly I don't know how you trust someone after that kind of betrayal.

Scandalous Housewife said...

Only the 2 of them know the WHOLE story, but it ain't looking too good. If he were having relations with one, maybe two, maybe therapy and temporary separation. But it appears he effs everything that moves! Jesus H. Christ, Tiger! Put a leash on it!
I think his "indescretions" went beyond repair...

dadshouse said...

Hubman, you're hilarious!

On a serious note - one thing that jumps out at me is when people say "Tiger had everything." Clearly, he didn't have everything if he's chasing women outside of his marriage. Which begs the question - what did he lack? He had tons of money, a family, a gorgeous wife. What was the missing element that he was searching for in those affairs?

No one knows but him. But the question is ripe for exploration.

Nonflammable said...

How she could ever trust him again, is beyond me. I guess it would depend on her character. She is a beautiful woman and now a 'celebrity' as much as him after this display. I think it would be difficult in their (public) situation to carry on. This is an act of betrayal so deep, even if they stay together now, I think she will eventually leave him. Of course $75ml helps to ease the pain but it can never heal the wounds. He has a problem that appears to be more about sneaking around (evading the public) than getting laid.

TentCamper said...

Tough call. Yes, people make mistakes... but 9 affairs???? that kind of speaks to his character and his devotion to his wife. Then again, the kids must be a main focus. Is their relationship a bad situation for the kids?

He is a dumb ass cuz he could not let a good thing be good.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

To quote Principal Rooney "Niiine times."

That's serial cheating.

Now far be it for me to say who should or shouldn't stay married. But if I found out that WonderWife™ had nine affairs, our marriage would be over.

American in Norway said...

She needs to RUN to the nearest exit... If he has done it NINE times... do you teally think he could change? -

chocdrop said...

I can say that one is something you can deal with and overcome. However, nine or whatever the count is is extreme.

I am not sure that one could survive...

All I can say is honey get to the GYNO, you need some test results and fast!!!!!

Coachdad said...

I couldn't blame her if she left...I would not think less of her if she stayed, either. I wouldn't want to be him right now.

dadshouse said...

Honey and Lance have a nice recap, with a compelling NBC video of talking heads: http://honeyandlance.com/hookers-scandal-money-tiger-woods

They also point out some of the other blogs and websites that have info on pro athletes cavorting with call girls.

katherine. said...

I've been waiting for someone to bring up the Steve NcNair tragedy.

Not that I would ever want the same fate for Tiger or anyone else...but just in the context of an athlete's infidelity ending badly.

Big City Dad said...

Tiger is not the only one to do this nor will he be that last. The sad thing is that he has tarnished his legacy, put a blight on the golf and the institution of marriage, and disappointed millions who wanted to believe he was a stand up family man who had his priorities straight. Whether or not he violated the vows of his marriage, however, is beteween Elin and him. No one else. Personally, I'll most likely never be able to root for the guy again. Not because he made a mistake, but because of the seeming entitlement with which he did it.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I can understand tarnishing his rep as a squeaky clean family man, but as a golfer? His philandering doesn't take away from his athletic prowess at all.

The Cookie Blog said...

I have visited several blogs lately, and many people are saying Tiger Woods is a good person. Sorry but that's a pass. He may have done some/many good things, but I cannot give him a vote as a good person. A good person does not cheat-period. And when you become a serial cheater, it becomes clear you are not going to stop or can't stop. You need professional help. I say this, if you want lots of sex, everyday, every way, then don't get married. Everyone who thinks this is so exciting better hope Tiger et al do not have HIV or an STD.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I keep thinking that if his desire to mess around is so strong, why get married in the first place? Look at George Clooney. Guy's a hound dog with different women all of the time, but since he's never made a lifetime promise to any of them, he gets away with it.

Anonymous said...

Do you think if I had '9' on the go MY golf would improve??

hot russian said...

I agree that they should be left alone. Tiger made a bad choice..a really bad one. So in order for him to fix his mistake and fix his relationship with his family, especially Elin, we need to really leave them alone.

Anonymous said...

There is no excuse for what Tiger did. What? did he figure he was 'invincible" just because he was famous?. Well, Well Mr Woods, you made you're bed (Several beds)..Now you must lie in it, pay the Price. Tisk, Tisk, when will people learn whenever you do something decieteful, you ALWAYS get caught. Karma is a !@#$ isn't it?

Steven said...

This can't actually work, I suppose like this.
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