Wednesday, December 16, 2009

You Better Watch Out!

No rotten playground bully every told me there wasn't a Santa Claus. I think I was around 10 years old when when I came to my own realization that the jolly old elf in the red suit would not be visiting this year. There was no moment of epiphany, just a gradual accumulation of incredible rationalizations to explain how it was possible for one man to deliver toys to all the boys and girls of the world in one night. Eventually they were overwhelming. One or two impossibilities like flying reindeer or navigating chimneys being explained through magic are acceptable on their own. However, when the whole Santa franchise is predicated on a sheer mass of implausible conditions, it cannot be sustained for long, even in the most willing hearts and minds.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was practicing Occam's Razor which states that the simplest explanation is likely the correct one. Taking all the Santa myths together, it only seemed reasonable that Christmas morning was made possible by the simplest explanation: the parents do it.

I never told my parents of my realization; why spoil their Christmas?

I don't know when my own kids figured it out. but like me, they never said anything. I'm glad they haven't because I do like sneaking things into their stockings and then denying any knowledge of it on Christmas morning.

11 comments:

Tracy DeLuca said...

My oldest is 15 and just last year finally admitted without actually coming right out and saying it that santa was not real. That said..... she still expects "santa" gifts and stocking stuff every year! LOL I always told her that Santa was real as long as you believed he was.

Hubman said...

My kids are 9 and 3. We've told the oldest that as long as HE believes in Santa, then he's real and that's all that matters. It still working. For now...

I can't remember when I figured out that Santa isn't real

The Peach Tart said...

Aw. Great Dad.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I still believe in Santa.

TentCamper said...

I don't know how old I was but I do have to say that I almost freaked out when my boys were visiting last year and they paraded around announcing that there is no such thing as Santa. I asked them why they were saying that and they told me that their mother told them so.

I makes me sad when kids 'unbelieve' too early. It is a great tradition and belief.

notasoccermom said...

What? there is no Santa Claus??? serious? No-way!
My parents told me that if you dont believe he will not show up.. I still believe and so do my grown children.
Loved the post.

LiteralDan said...

Those stupid ad suits in the '20s through '50s ruined Santa! They added on so many ridiculous things that the idea became totally unsustainable.

Apparently Macy's really needed to move their stock of reindeer toys and red velvet suits. And corncob pipes.

I don't get into such nonsensical details, because I'm trying to set up the day I have to explain, like Columbo just remembering something, that Santa is real in that he is a spirit magically called up in all of us at this time of year, and we all sit back marveling at the nice things that just seem to happen, etc. etc.

Something that doesn't make me look like a douchebag who lies to children for his own amusement, you know? I dread the look of betrayal that will be written on their faces. They will become cast in ice, seeking refuge only in numbers and facts, instead of people, who they can clearly never trust.

Unless we pull this off juuuuust right.

No, I haven't put way too much thought into this, why do you ask?

Ms Scarlett said...

Wait. What are you saying.... that Santa's NOT REAL?!?!?!

Blasphemy.

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I Can't believe on it......

Missty said...

Love the post! And our kids know if you believe, Santa will always leave you a gift. And so far it is working, because at 25, 23, 20 and 17 they are still getting gifts from Santa.

And not one of them has yet to tell me they don't believe.... they know it will crush my Christmas! LOL (good boys)

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