Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tit for Tat Coparenting

Single Dad Dating and Parenting at Dad's House Blog
Married folks know as well as divorced how hard it can sometimes be to divide up the parenting workload equally. (Unless, of course, you're NY Times columnist David Brooks spouting stone-age views on men and divorce.)

Tit for tat is what it’s all about!

If only I could find some tat to trade for… Oh, never mind.

Imagine you’re a parent – you spend hours online researching colleges that your teen might attend. You’d have your teen do it, but really – they might just look to see who has the best toga parties. You’re checking out degree programs, perusing the course curriculum. Nerdy, but important stuff.

And your ex or spouse? Cleaning up the ski cabin, prepping it for winter snow trips.

Now then, if you’re married, this might be a pretty nice trade-off. I mean, you both benefit from both tasks. Your teen gets into a good school with a good program? Awesome! You all enjoy some killer snowboarding and skiing in the family winter cottage? Killer! (Or whatever the kids say these days.)

We’re talking some seriously perky tit for tat.

But then imagine you’re divorced. While you slave your ass off online, looking at boring-ass college course descriptions, your ex is prepping a snow cabin you will never see.

This tit for tat seems a bit droopy to me.

I know there's give and take in every relationship, even divorced ones. I also know that work division ebbs and flows. But some coparenting exchanges just seem blatantly unequel.

How do married spouses keep the tit for tat equilibrium firm and round and not fake?

And how can that tit for tat love be spread to divorced “couples”, when one ex seems to be taking advantage of the other, like a major boob?

I guess I prefer my tits tatted.

Dad's House offers stories and tips about dating and parenting as a single dad. Plus - a killer margarita recipe, 'The Boys are Back' movie review, Jon and Kate divorce, teen dating, spooning naked. It's all good. And pretty darn perky.

20 comments:

Susan said...

We definately carry the "tit" load in the co-parenting world, compared to my husband's ex-wife.

Our new response to her will now be:

"You need to carry more tit weight".

I think she'll love us even more now. Thanks for the advice.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I thought this was going to be a totally different post.

In my house, I prefer a literal version of tit for tat--though I don't often get it.

TentCamper said...

I like tits and tats....but hate doing all the work...so tats are gonna have to go.

Splitting stuff equally is more tough than it seems...it never seems fair and I don't know of anyone who has perfected it.

But I really think you wrote this just to say tit like 100 times.

Brandy said...

My hubs ex does NOTHING. And that may be putting it lightly.

We realized pretty quickly that it was up to us to do everything. But because we took that task on, he has gotten accepted into his first pick college.

The thing is though, that I don't mind since she is far from the ideal role model. I would rather do more & have him be the better for it. The only time it will be an issue is if she starts to take credit for his success. That comes from all of his hard work & our encouragement.

On another note - I do have a tatted tit. :)

Danielle said...

I am going to have to agree with Tentcamper on his final line!!
Tit Tat Tit Tat

BigLittleWolf said...

I'm so there... and really understand your annoyance, and fatigue. All that pre-college researching (and support that goes into the teen years especially) can be more labor intensive than many think. When one parent is carrying that load much more than the other, it's wearing on all cylinders.

Just keep doing what you know you have to, in the kids' best interests. Someone must. What else is there? But hats off to you, for doing it. It ain't easy.

Senorita said...

Yeah, men always prefer genuine tits and tats.

Your kids are lucky. My folks did absolutely nothing in helping me go to college. I had money saved up that was used for different purposes. For the longest time I thought it was normal for the children to do everything themselves for college.

Nonflammable said...

Where I live, joint custody is the law or 50/50 parenting plan. The kids reside in both residences. This is more convenient for the parents but hell on the kids. It requires both parents keeping open communication, cooperation...which in most instances doesn't work. I think for the best interest of the kids(s) one parent will always have to assume more responsibility.

That One Mom said...

WHAT!?!?!? There are people out there that HELP with this parenting job!?! I need to find me one of those! LOL!

Your kids are blessed that you're willing to pick up the slack in their better interest!

dadshouse said...

All right, so I've posted about how I'm an ass, man http://hotdads.blogspot.com/2009/08/im-ass-man.html

And I've posted about tit for tat.

Give me a body part prompt for my next post! (I sense I'm treading into dangerous waters with that request... haha)

Danielle said...

How about drunk thong girls on picnic tables. ;)

Senorita said...

You could post about:

Legs
The Decolletage
The neck
Lower back
Inner thighs

The sky is the limit ! Especially with your imagination, so delight us with your next post............

Missty said...

LOL. Love the post. Hmm, body parts... I know my man loves my long legs. Well he preferes the first two you already wrote about. So yeah legs or inner thighs. hehe

But isn't that a guys way of thinking... somehow tit for tat with a little boring college stuff thrown in.

TentCamper said...

I like Danielle's idea...

but I say...lips (you choose the set) or both.

Love me some lips!!

vinomom said...

Honestly, maybe the ex is just leaving to you what she knows you'll be better at.

Seems to me if she were also researching for your daughter then there'd be all sorts of PITA back and forth comparing and debating of colleges. This way, at least, she's not going to have much of a leg to stand on if she disagrees w/ any of your college picks.

Barefoot Dreamer said...

hmmm now I am thinking about getting a tattoo, but I must say not on my tit.

Mariah said...

It's a hard balance for sure weather or not you have tits to trade for services. I think it's harder when you're divorced. I've been both.

hot russian said...

After reading this post and all comments on this post I found that different people have different idea.

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