Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sunday Slides, Funny, Caption Contest

The Cowboy Boots
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping

One of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still

Didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on,

She had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher,

They're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough,

They were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than

It was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as

Together they worked to get the boots back on, this time

On the right feet.

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,

'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to. Once again, she

Struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little

Feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,

'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear'em.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she

Mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle

The boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your Mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1. Male Brain


2. Female Brain

haaaaaaaaa thats funny right there! And true!

3. hehe and no bitching either!
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "what's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40, please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."



4. I don't know where this is but I need to go there for sure.



5. Who needs a woody?


Caption contest...............


No mom you'll like him! I promise he is soooo cool! Just like dad!

Well there ya go. Steal the jokes or the pictures or whatever, give us your best shot at the caption.
More slides in Sageville of course.

9 comments:

ChocDrop said...

The ostrich story is the best. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!!!!
lol

Nora said...

"I told you the new Kindergarten teacher was cool."

Amber said...

Loved the boots story!
caption:
"When he asked me to pay for them, he said they bring me more pleasure. When he was finished he couldn't even get his tongue past the studs...I asked for a refund!"

TentCamper said...

Poster boy for the Self Esteem Support Group
"Self Esteem, it does a body good."

Mary said...

Caption: The party-goers were confused by the directions for the children's game, so instead of pinning the tail on the donkey, they stuck pins into an ass.

Susan said...

Determined to kick his porn and heroin habits, Billy makes yet another trip to his local Piercing Pagoda.

Cameron said...

Caption: Rivet gun got away from me

LiteralDan said...

"There... 101 piercings! Now no one will EVER notice I started going bald a little bit."

Jared said...

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