Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Service with a smile

While eating dinner the other evening, my wife J- asked me for a napkin. I immediately reached for my own as she began an anecdote, and I quickly flicked it over toward her with two fingers, in my continuing effort to set the best possible example I can for the children.*

The napkin, folded just once in half, sliced up through the air and then zoomed straight down into her mouth like a sniper's bullet shot from an extremely handsome and talented gun.

Because this may already be the most perfect moment that will ever happen in my entire life, I can't help but feel a bit melancholy whenever I laugh hysterically all over again about the look on her face.



* I have to note here, in a footnote as long as the post itself, that she absolutely hates having things thrown towards her, since she's baselessly paranoid about her supposed inability to catch projectiles of any kind, so I'm not really sure why I chose to throw the napkin in the first place, but I admit I had no idea it had the weight and shape to perform this miracle.

She's actually not half-bad at catching, and not quarter-bad at throwing, though of course she's nowhere near the superhuman level at which I operate.

I think it must be my own freakish reflexes that lead me to constantly initiate spontaneous games of catch on a microsecond's notice. After all this time, J-'s been known to threaten me with severe bodily harm at seeing me do so much as raise my arm up with something in my hand.

Even she had to appreciate the beauty of this one, though. The kids sure did.


Posted by LiteralDan

19 comments:

ChocDrop said...

News Healine Story---- Man with super powers marries!!!

We at least we know that you survived.....unless you do not speak of the injuries related to the incident.

lmao

Can I have your autograph???

Another Suburban Mom said...

Great story. Its too bad you did not catch the perfection on video.

Scandalous Housewife said...

I love it when my husband gives me services with a smile.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Awesome. I love it that though you know she doesn't like it, you do it anyway. Such is the way of my house too.

AlmightyHeidi said...

*sigh* men will always be 12 year old boys ar heart...

Tsquared417 said...

That would have gotten the wave at our dinner table! And I love the title...not what I was expecting! :)

Randie Roads said...

lol!

Amber said...

LOL you must be deadly with a deck of cards!
my Mr makes it a habit to throw things down my shirt from accross the table/room, so I try not to wear low-cut things.

TentCamper said...

Beautiful!!! Absolutely beautiful.

I love to flaunt my superhuman abilities with Mariah...though I fear her threats of bodily harm...as they are not only threats...more like warnings of impending physical damage. I'm careful about my flaunting these days.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

That's crazy...But I'm the thrower...I like to throw things at a moments notice to see if my husbands reflexes are getting an slower... He still has yet to drop anything or not catch it, but one day I'll get him he's getting old you know! :)

Mary said...

You have to appreciate the small successes in life.

Midwest Mom said...

What I love is that your son will forever remember the day "Dad" became just your secret identity.

-Julia at Midwest Moms

dadshouse said...

This is a great post on multiple levels. First, tossing the napkin. I think that sends a perfect message to your kids that they should be chivalrous (quickly give a lady what she wants), but do it with a sense of humor (we all love to laugh, no?)

Second, the footnote as long as the post. Reminded me of David Foster Wallace (RIP), and his rambling footnotes that were often as interesting, and even more informative, than the piece itself.

For an example of DFW's work, read this Atlantic article. It is funny as hell. And you have to click on every link - they are footnotes.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200504/wallace

Sandi said...

so sounds like something that would happen to me.

Janet said...

Love the footnote.

LiteralDan said...

Glad everyone liked the title and footnote-- like bookends for a very short shelf.

AlmightyHeidi, I don't know if I'm quite up to a 12-year-old level yet, and Amber, I think if I tried the fantastic game of targeting the cleavage, I might not have any hands left to try a second time.

And like any good superhero, I DO give autographs, for a small fee.

Anyone headed to BlogHer this summer can stop by my house to collect, as I'm just about a dozen miles from downtown Chicago.

Susan said...

Boys will be boys. It's perfect.

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