The Boy and the Pine Forest - One day, his parents drove him several hours outside of the city and the place that he knew as home. They passed by meadows, farms and forests on the way t...
Friday, September 11, 2009
Oh those French. Apparently, they did a formal study which made a connection between women drinking wine and having sex. The more you drink, the more willing you are to do the deed. (You think?! Hey, I’m not making this up.)
BigLittleWolf’s Daily Plate of Crazy clued me in to this. She gives a delightful account of the study of 800 women, how “women blossom sexually under the influence of alcohol”. She even suggests that wine guidebooks should contain info about which wines get which types of women into the mood.
To which I say – WTF!? How did the Hot Dads miss out on this one?
I propose the Hot Dads get the same EU wanks who funded the French study to fund us. Not everyone drinks wine. We’ll go on a mission to see which cocktails get which women in the mood.
Let's kick off the proposal writing process:
As Hot Dads, we are aware that women are sometimes not in the mood to be ravaged. (We don’t understand that behavior, but we are aware of it and respect it.)
As Hot Dads who enjoy a drink now and then, we have direct evidence that women who drink sometimes become aroused into a state of sexual willingness. (We do understand this behavior, and for that reason the next round is on us.)
As Hot Dads fighting for a better planet (i.e. one with more sex, love, and happy endings), we would like to procure funding to study this topic in depth.
Hypothesis: candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker
Procedure: gather 800 nubile women (just like the French study), or perhaps simply take out our wives and girlfriends, depending on what we can get away with (all in the name of science!)
Flirt with these women and attempt to seduce them into having sex. We predict a success rate with this technique of 1%. (Mostly due to our lack of flirting skills, sober. Time to brush up on sweet pick up lines.)
Line up shots of vodka and tequila, as well as provide favorite mixed drinks like cosmos and margaritas and mai tais, and offer said alcohol to said women.
Flirt with these women and attempt to seduce them into having sex. We predict as more drinks are consumed, we’ll be getting laid a lot.
Of course, the Hot Mamas could get their own study funded. I’m not sure what it would be, but if it’s something about men drinking and women shopping, I’m ducking for cover.