A recent date who came into my home suggested that something needed to be polished. Now, now, get your urban dictionary mind out of the knob-polishing gutter.
She noticed my highball glasses had water spots!
(For the record, I don't let just anyone into my house. I may be virile in my 40s with plenty of sexy and funny stories, but you gotta be eager.)
Apparently my date's mom had taught her to polish every glass as if you were a high-end restaurant. After all, you never knew who might come over, and how much it might be worth to impress them.
(When she said "worth", I sort of tuned out. Her family was into money, and her mom played hostess to daddy's CEO friends. Sounds like a lonely housewife to me. I just liquor my guests up on my best margarita recipe, and hope they don't notice water spots.)
The experience made me think - what things do I polish, and what do I let slide?
Cars - I know there are hot dads (and teen boys) who wax the hell out of their cars. They'll polish the hood, polish the wheels, polish the seats. Me? I'm lucky if the bug that splatted my windshield on highway 101 gets squeegeed off the next time I fill up on gas.
Chrome appliances - I polish my espresso machine (there's an eagle on top!), but I never polish my toaster. And yet, the toaster gets more fingerprints. Why do I not care about this much-used appliance? Um, because my kids get their grubby paws on it whenever they toast up pita bread for a hummus-slathered afternoon snack? (i.e. daily) It will just get finger-printy again.
Glasses (of the spectacle sort) - I polish the heck out of my glasses daily. I use glasses cleaner, and one of those micro-fiber cloths. More work than lasik, I suppose. But no one's cutting my eyes.
Martini shaker - I polish this every time I use it. Natch. (Did I mention there's a connection between drinking and sex?)
As for my date, it turned out she did actually enjoy polishing things besides highball, martini, and wine glasses.
I'll leave it at that, and keep this post PG-13.
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