Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted,
The End.
Who wants to meet me for supper?
That right there is some cracker ingenuity!
LOL, shes right!
The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview.’
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor.. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .
'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’
‘He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...
'A pumpkin? Shit... is it midnight already?'
Caption Contest!
Lets see what Y'all can come up with!
Wel there ya go. Hope everyone has a big ole Sunday!
11 comments:
BAD. (Funny.) BAD. (Smirking.)
Now I need me some Thai food....damn you sage!
Caption - "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
ah Hell! It is 100! what have I got to lose?
That shopping cart picture is classic.
Funny stuff! That first joke is a quote from Willie Nelson, I believe. I read it somewhere just recently and loved it!
Like Charlie Brown in the pumpkin patch waiting for the great pumpkin. I guess this guy found a great pumpkin -- maybe not THE great pumpkin, but at least great enough for him :-)
I thought the Fairy Godmother warned him about that damn pumpkin at midnight thing.
You're hilarious!
That opening fairy tale is my favorite by far, though the pumpkin story is great, too. Where do you find these?? I can't look at my kids' pumpkins the same way anymore.
I'm still gagging over the shopping cart grill. Those things are nasty, and I hate putting my packaged food in them!
Thanks for the comments I wasnt here to reply but I am now!!!
Glad y'all liked em!
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