Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday Slides, Funnies, Caption Contest

1. Surely thata kids mine!

A elderly, single, third grade teacher was informed she would have to teach sex education.
She was quite upset and refused the assignment. She didn't think she would actually be able to talk about the subject. Eventually, she changed her mind as the alternative was to be fired.
On the first day of school she drew a woman's body on the blackboard, pointed to the chest and asked the class "Does anyone know what this is called?"
Jane, who was sitting in the first row, raised her hand and answered "It's called a 'breast' and my mommy has two of them!"
"Very good," said the teacher. Then she drew a male body on the board, pointed to the groin, and asked "Does anyone know what this is called?"This time Billy raised his hand. "I know what it is! It's called a 'penis' and my daddy has two of them."

"That's the right name," said the teacher, but I don't think your daddy has two of them."
"Yes he does!" said Billy. "He has a little one he uses to pee, and a big one he uses to brush mommy's teeth."

2. Tent campers Halloween costume.

3. Ha! That is something I'd do!

4. hehehe Ok I'll sign up as a lickee!

Last week was my birthday, and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...

They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office,

I felt pretty low, and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.

But we didn' t go where we normally would go.

She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.

We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day...

We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"

I responded, "I guess not.

What do you have in mind ?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said," Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...


Caption Contest!

Well there ya go. Give it your best shot!!! TC is killin y'all on the captions!

Have a groovy Sunday and great extended weekend!


Just Jules said...

I have nothing on the comment, but the first pic cracks me up! I think I would pass though....

ChocDrop said...

Love the birthday story.....funny
Caption--OMG they can't see behind us can they?

Not a soccer mom said...

"Finally! the kids are going back to school- time for ourselves again!"

Oh thanks for the laughs that entrepreneur picture is awesome

TentCamper said...

"Mommy, Mommy...Does this mean I am going to have puppies to sell?" said little Becky.


"Freakin kids never leave us ...let's just do it when their backs are turned!" said Fido.

Sandi said...

oh man...that last one is bad. lol

Mariah said...

Tentcamper cannot be beating me. That sucks, I'm a slacker and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Caption: "How come they don't make as much noise as mommy and daddy?"

TentCamper said...

DAMN YOU Mariah!!!!!!! I like that one!

LiteralDan said...

"Don't worry, whenever you get around to actually start filming, he'll be ready to go... he's a pro."

Anonymous said...

good ones all!!
I thin MM gets it this week!

Trooper Thorn said...

Caption: You never forget your first day of school, or your first humping by the neighbor's dog.

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