Friday, May 29, 2009

Raising Girls is Easy


I grew up in a house full of boys, so when my daughter was born, I had no idea what it would be like raising a girl. Let me say for the record - it's been easy. Far easier than raising a son.

Boys are a terror. I know this from the grief my brothers and I gave to my dear mom. We broke things like crazy. Windows. Toys. Each other. (No broken bones, but plenty of stitches.) We ran around the house like wild animals, yelling and screaming. We wrestled until there were tears. We aimed slingshots and bee-bee guns at each other, sometimes even firing. (Like a Jon and Kate divorce proceeding. Ha!)

Where was brother protective services when we needed it?

While my son isn't quite that out of control, he is a handful. He amuses himself by building things that are way too dangerous for public use, then inviting his friends to use them. Like the time he hung a wooden platform from a tree branch, piled it with patio furniture, then had everyone get on - only to see it collapse. (No one was seriously injured in the writing of this blog post.)

He also loves starting fires, which I admit comes in handy when we're cooking homemade hamburgers, or fixing our Jamaican grilled chicken marinade recipe. But fire isn't such a great idea when he's supposed to be in his room doing homework, but is actually lighting matches and melting candle wax all over his desk. WTF!

Men and fire.

My daughter has been a piece of cake. She does her homework, keeps a tidy room, never talks back. Oh sure, she could help more often around the house. But she's so sweet, and so good at keeping her nose clean, I kind of don't care. She's seventeen, and far from a loose girl - she's more focused on getting into college than getting pregnant. So there are no early-grandpa fears for me! (Watch, she has a drawer full of sex toys I don't know about. Ha.)

It's not just home life, though. Sports teams have been way easier with her. Granted, girls can be catty at times, but they'd rather get along than not. Plus, the coaches early on were usually moms, as opposed to manic Little League dads. As a result, my daughter's teams had way better parental camaraderie (i.e. parties!) I love watching my daughter do her sports.

So, next time someone tells me what a headache their daughter has been, I will knock on wood and say a little thank you that my daughter has been so easy.

Unless, of course, my son already lit that particular piece of wood on fire. Or hung it from a tree.

Doh!

32 comments:

Coolred38 said...

Raising 2 girls and 3 boys I get to experience first hand the differences between them...I find boys easier from personal experience. My boys dont care what they wear as long as it covers up the more personal bits. They will eat anything I put in front of them and not worry about the calories and fat content. They will bring their own laundry to the laundry room...when they have run out of things to wear. They are easily entertained by all things noisy and chaotic...movies...games...sports etc. No sitting around being bored.

My girls need constant fashion updates. Are makeup artists that require constant updating. Will not eat anything that doesnt have the words low fat, light, or healthy on it (there goes my cooking). Will keep their rooms tidy but then expect the rest of us to do so as well...hmmm? Are easily bored unless a mobile phone is within easy reach or a mall...preferably both.

Lucky for me all my kids are excellent in school and give equal amounts of attention to studies etc...other than that they are different as night and day.

Ashley said...

For the first three years of my son's life I thought that boys were super-easy and so fun and on and on and on with the list of good things. Over the past year I've slowly seen all those good things fading off the list as we enter the "All Boy" stage of his youth.

I trembled reading your blog on what your boys did! Ha! Maybe I should stick with just one child....don't want to chance having another boy for him to team up with!!

MindyMom said...

Are you kidding me? As a mother of four girls (18-3)I can tell you; they are NOT easy. I only have my friends sons to compare the gender difference with but they would be the first to agree with me that girls are harder.

Having one may be a piece of cake but two or more who can argue, debate, and negotiate with as well as manipulate each other (and also try this with their mom)well, it never ends.

I think fathers in general have a easier go with parenting, but especailly with their daughters. Mothers and daughters though...ugh.

However, I do enjoy my time with each one of my daughters - which is best when we're one-on-one.

vinomom said...

Did you plan this around my blog post today? Ugh. I would much rather have boys running wild than girls back talking and being moody and nasty.

I babysat for the same family for years, two boys and two girls - the boys were MUCH easier. The girls cry, fight, are catty etc.

You are lucky, trust me!

I agree with you about Boys and Fire though - WTF is up w/ that?

SingleParentPlus2 said...

I really can't say. I only have girls. I can say that they are a joy to raise and we have a great time together.

What I can add is I tortured everyone growing up - everyone! My two sisters were saints compared to me. I was in the hospital a few times, ran away (on more than one occasion), sneaked out of the house (don't tell my mom she still doesn't know that - I think?) and that was before I was 18. After I was of age it got worse - I worked on the Bering Sea, went cross country for 6 months and on and on. I don't know how she slept at night?

Boy have a natural need to venture into the unknown and, with that, comes risk - alot of risk! Girls, for the most part, are not natural risk takers, and that is fine with me :)

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I'm still undecided on this one. With a 7 year old boy and a 3 year old girl they both do equal damage to my nerves and sanity. I would say a boy (thus far) if I was pushed though. Probably because I just barely survived my daughters 'two' stage.

Mark said...

Funny! I think it depends on the child and the parent. All a matter of perspective. Boys and girls each have their challenging times.

katherine. said...

hmmmm..I wonder if your outlook will change when she leaves for school. I also wonder if their mom thinks girls are easy as well?

My girls are 21 and 27...and were not as easy as my 18 year old boy. He is has a golden heart and the girls....well...they take after me.

although teenage boys are the smelliest creatures on earth!

TentCamper said...

Great topic!! I will say that before my first son was born, I feared having a girl...did not want to have to go through all of the girl drama, fight off obsessive boys and uch. But now, we have a total of 3 boys and 3 girls and ...overall.. with the girls...there is way more drama (firends, boys, clothing, stress, etc) with the boys...it is just trying to keep them calm enough to not break too much shit.

Boys are crazier...but easier.

But I will say that for me growing up...it was us boys who were the problem.

Tyler - Building Camelot said...

Maybe it's because I'm a slacker or just too much of a rookie compared to some parents out there, but our oldest daughter hasn't been that easy. Granted she's only 3 1/2 and maybe the easier years are to come but damn...if it's not one thing then it's something else with her. Please tell me it gets easier and less dramatic!

Michele Horne said...

I don't know about this one. Right now my 3 girls are a piece of cake (ages 8, 3 and 9 months) HOWEVER, being a girl myself, I am not looking forward to (and by that I mean scared out of my head) to a household with 3 girls in puberty. The drama, the emotions, the bad hair days, the BOYS... you've got me sweating just thinking about it!

cathouse teri said...

It definitely does depend on the personalities of said boys and girls.

I grew up in a family of four girls. I believe my parents would not classify this as easy. Although, I think if we had been given the blessing of a brother, we would have totally fucked him up!

As for me, I raised two boys and one girl. All of them had great temperaments. The issue of harder versus easier to me boiled down to this:

Girls were easier because you could always be sweet to them and cuddle and comfort them. With boys you had to stand back sometimes and let them be in tough situations. This was the hardest thing in the world to me. Not that you don't have to also do this with girls, but it's just different. You really, really do have to be tougher on boys.

How did they turn out? My daughter is PLENTY tough and my boys are PLENTY sweet. So I'm thinking it worked out.

But in all honesty, all the years I was raising children, I spent many days crying out to God, "What were you thinking ~ letting me have children?"

dadshouse said...

Mindy - I admit a house with more than one daughter would be way more challenging. I remember my high school girlfriend had 3 sisters and a brother, and those sisters were all so catty and manipulating. The brother was sweet.

I don't get any of the bad hair days, or boyfriend drama with my daughter. She's sort of a tom boy. Maybe that makes it easier.

I like how TentCamper put it about boys: it is just trying to keep them calm enough to not break too much shit.

Sandi said...

I can only speak for girls. I have four of them. I grew in a home with four girls, no boys. I have to say, we were good girls. Truly I was a good kid...but we were mean to each other when fought. We liked to throw things at each other like cans of hairspray or hairbrushes. Cool hmm? Yeah. I remember punching my sister in the back over a remote control. *sigh* And now, as a mother to four of these insane creatures I see them arguing, fighting, wishing death on each other. I have good girls, really. But they fight, they pull hair, pinch, hit...whatever when I am not looking. My 12 year old whines to NO end when I ask her to help out with chores. She does them, but complains the entire time. Perhaps I need to try a new tactic? Regardless, I feel lucky because I see other 12 year old girls caking on the makeup and looking like they are 17 and it just disgusts me. My oldest daughter isn't interested in that stuff yet and I hope it's a long time! She IS better about cleaning her room though. Perhaps I should be glad I had all girls? I can't imagine how hard a boy would be for me. lol

Just Jules said...

For me (3 boys and 1 girly girl) the boys have been far easier. I can more easily deal with the rough housing, fighting, dangerous behavior that the boys do far easier then the whining and drama that comes from my daughter (although it is in small portions it is enough!)

Until I can't pick them up by the scruff of the neck and throw them across the room (which is soon coming with the oldest being 9!) I have to say boys have been my easier parenting chore.

Lady Mama said...

Yes but has she hit the teenage years yet?

I have two boys, and have so far had a relatively trouble-free experience... but as my older son approaches 2, he's starting to get into everything - especially anything messy. So yes, I am a little scared about what the future holds... But I still think the teenage years are going to be easier with boys than girls... from my experience.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

1 girl and 1 boy... I'm still in the raising part. But my boy has been Way easier... but my daughter there is NEVER a dull moment... depends on the day and my mood and energy depending on which one I prefer! :)

Anjeny said...

Interesting topic. Since I have both of the sexes and their age ranges varies...17 down to 2..from my own personal experience, I'd say you are lucky because for me, daughters are a lot harder. I have the same problem with all three of my girls when they were little..I struggled all the time with them to keep them in their car seats, they hated with a passion sitting in their car seats...my boys, they love their riding in their car seats, they would literally take up residence in their car seats if I let them.

I have teen girls and boys now, and let me tell you, I get more dramas from my girls. The fighting, bickering and back talking..sheesh. And yes, we are constantly late because of their obsessiveness in making sure they look more than presentable when we go out in public so therefore, bathroom time and grooming of oneself is a lot longer with them. My boys, I have to fight with them to make themselves look halfway descent, they don't care what they wear as long as it fits them.

The list goes on...but coming from a female perspective, I like hanging out with my girls. Sometimes when their guards are down, they will reveal their utmost secrets.

As far as the fire goes, one of my sons love making fire...it's as though he craves that or something but that's where dads come in very handy...I just steer him to his dad and then I don't have to worry about it...lol.

dadshouse said...

Lady Mama - my daughter is 17. It seems like the moms have a harder time with their daughters. I know my daughter and my ex-wife get on each other's nerves a bit, while my daughter and I get along quite smoothly. So it could be a gender thing, and since I'm a single dad, I only see the easy side of it.

Laura said...

Knock that wood babes! I am finding it a challenge to raise my daughter - possible more because I worry about projecting my insecurities and dysfunctions onto her!

And she is a strong willed child who challenges me every single step of the way! My son doesnt do that!

!

jerlyn said...

Your daughter looks adorable.
We all thought Cpt. Dumbass was an
extremely well behaved kid.
Was in later years we found out about the police coming to the door
during a parents away weekend.
Well come to mention it there was
the times he:
locked his little brother in a garbage can
Climbed up into the cupboards and fed his little brother a box
of exlax
or the time he fed Ritz Crackers
to our prized Angel Fish
or the time he broke his Nana's
window and let younger brother take
the blame.
wait a minute what we're we on when
we thought he was an angel.

PS It's the Dumbass' birthday Today.

Susan said...

Consider yourself blessed. My stepsons are cake compared to my girls who are 6 and 9.

Can you send some of that wood knocking over this way please?

T said...

Well since I have not one but TWO girls, can I let out a huge WHEW!!!

She does sound like a doll. Wish we lived close. I could use a babysitter!!

movin down the road said...

If you came to my house and hung out for a day, you'd possibly be writing a different post. Heh heh. One thing I have to say is that my girls are great communicators, they want to talk and know how to talk, I dont know if it is a girl thing or just my kids happen to be like that, but I have friends with boys who say it's hard to figure out what they are feeling because they wont communicate.

At any rate, I have never had a boy but I consider my two girls, NOT easy.

parentingtoolbox said...

I have to agree with you. As a dad with two boys and two girls, the girls were much easier but I was much more anxious in raising them then I was the boys.

cjrambling said...

I have one of each and my opinion (so far) is that while my daughter has been easier on the surface, I do worry more about what's going on underneath the surface. Girls (IMO) have more of a tendency to "hide" some of their "bad" behavior while boys....well, there's never any doubt in my mind what they are up to!!!! My son, while definitely MUCH more of a handfull is very WYSIWYG. I know when he's up to something cause he doesn't bother to hide it.

Amber said...

LOL
I've always wanted a girl.

Amber said...

LOL
I've always wanted a girl.

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A Daft Scots Lass said...

a Mum of two girl-children who I think should've been boys. They never wear dresses, they run around shirt-less and couldn't give a rat's arse. The prefer playing rock star and cars than barbies and dress up. Aw the best of both worlds for me.

They do fight like cat and dog tho.

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