Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Hot Dad - Sexy or Old?


A funny thing about blogging is seeing what sort of comments end up in my spam queue. As a single dad on the dating scene, it's not surprising that I'd get my share of spam for things like:

  • Dating sites
  • Sex toys
  • Russian brides
  • Porn

After all, I've posted all sorts of sexy stories and dating tips on my blog. There are sweet pick up lines for any occasion, sexy text messages you can't ignore, tantric breathing exercises for couples, advice on dating a hot teacher, having sex outside with a wild animal watching, drinking with lonely housewives, skinny dipping at club med, and other sexy and funny dating stories.

Not your typical parenting stuff!

Sometimes the spam just has a cut-n-paste list of URLs. Those are easy enough to ignore. But then there are spam comments that sound almost genuine, like the spammer actually read my blog and liked it! For instance:

Cool post, thank you for the information - I don't usually like to post blog comments but enjoyed this post. Please post more usefull stuff like this, I added you to my Google reader!

Nothing like stroking my ego and adding me to your reader to make me want to let that spam comment through! (Except that the link goes to a porn site. Doh!)

Over time, I noticed more and more spam comments for Viagra and Cialis. WTF?! I'm not that old. For the record, I have no trouble in the erectile functioning department. (Except for the fact that I don't have a woman in my life. That's dysfunctional! And no, I don't need a sexy stripper like Marisa Tomei from The Wrestler. A girl next door will do just fine.)

I soothed my ego by telling myself those spam comments were meant for some of the much older male readers of my blog.

But the other day, a spam comment showed up that genuinely disturbed me.

It was all about colon cleansing products!

What, am I suddenly 90 years old?

Sigh. Maybe it was my Quaker oatmeal post that did my demographic in.

Can someone please spam me some Viagra?

33 comments:

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Well really with links like those... maybe they think since you're so open about the s-e-x subject you have issues.

It had to be the Oatmeal post (which I thought was cute and funny and true).

I get spammed with people telling me I've won a million pounds or twenty million yen or 'wanna share this mountain of money I've got?'

If only those were true...

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh... Those r spam? I was kinds honored that someone in the porn industry was reading my blog... I thought maybe I was their breath of fresh air for the day... Dang... I can't believe they r cheating on me and spamming other people! Jerks! No worries about the Viagra *i don't judge * :)

Just me... said...

Based on the Spam I get, I'm pretty sure the email word search engines are doing double-time.. I get everything from buy-our-drugs to foreign brides to dating spam.. I have yet to get spam from AARP or about colon cleansing, so I feel good.. :)
I imagine getting those will be like the first time I didn't get 'carded' in a bar.. It took a little wind out of my sails.. But for that night only!! :):)

MindyMom said...

And this is why I block spam...

Dont worry David, you are not old and you are a hot dad.

The oatmeal post just keeps you real.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I also get viagra and cialis in my email, and I am a girl, so don't be offended.

And the colon cleansing? If you write about food or dieting, you are going to get those.

Kat Wilder said...

Hey, I get e-mail advising me how to boost my bust line AND my "member," making me wonder, what kind of a freak do they think I am???? But I love what Shelle wrote above: really, what an ego bust to realize we weren't about to be discovered as the Next Big Thing in porn (and I mean that big literally and figuratively ...)

cathouse teri said...

I must be doing something wrong! I don't get a single bit of sexy spam commenting!

Scandalous Housewife said...

I'm so flattered you used my photo in your post!

katherine. said...

I get spam about plain old chopped meat in a can....not the Hot&Spicy Spam you get.

Coolred38 said...

I have gotten a gazillion spams worth of penile dysfunction in my box and Im fairly sure Ive never used the words penis or dysfunction anywhere on my blog...go figure.

Ive also come off as honest enough to go partners with about 200 Nigerians that have more money than they know what to do with...little do they know...Id take that money and close my account in a heartbeat...given half a chance...lol.

first time commentor to your very hilarious blog

Homer and Queen said...

Don't listen to Scandalous, that is my photo! But I guess spam thinks I am a he-she also, members and boobs...awful lot of work, don't cha think?

Hope said...

Damn so does that mean I am NOT supposed to read into the *+ a day pick up anywhere rentals is really just about car rentals or that I am. *pout*

dadshouse said...

Oh boy, one of my spammers is pissed at me. I forgot Levitra.

Damn!

Shelle - you actually have videos on your blog where you're shaking it for the camera, so maybe those comments you get really are from porn execs. "Shelle and the Hot Hermaphrodite Do Suburbia" sort of has a ring to it, no?

Just Jules said...

somehow the spam I continually get is related to a better orgasms. This is so not a problem for me. I'm just saying that if these products targeted what we needed.....

I guess then they would send me adds for maid, nannies, and handy men ;)

M said...

I get LOTS and LOTS from dating sites other stuff in that realm.

Apparently someone out there thinks I need to get some action.

I pretty much agree, but it kinda makes you feel like a loser when the Internet as a whole is trying to help you find a man.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Cool post, thank you for the information - I don't usually like to post blog comments but enjoyed this post. Please post more useful stuff like this, I added you to my Google reader!

T said...

Yeah, it was totally the oatmeal post that prompted that.

Good stuff though. You should totally share these on the blog sometime for a good laugh!

Oh and definitely not old. Sexy all the way!

dadshouse said...

Daddy Geek Boy - too funny! Can I interest you in some Levitra?

Btw - can anyone read Russian? This spam just in:

Лучшее эротическое видео с быстрой закачкой

Just me... said...

Translation - "The best erotic video with fast injection"

Ahh.. From Russia with love... :):)

Damo said...

Wow! Watch that colon cleansing product...it taste terrible and for all the good it does you may as well stick up your a#@se!!

Senorita said...

I am the proud owner of a vagina, yet I still get ads for my penis, lol. Viagra, porno, hot chats with women. It never fails.

No ads for Russian brides, though, still waiting on that........

Not a soccer mom said...

Yeah I am with Senorita--- I am 100% female and get all the colon cleanse ads, and viagra also!
it is SPAM! that is all, robots sending you junk...

Janet said...

I don't get this kind of spam. Maybe I need to step up the content on my blog! :)

Anyhow, David, you're a hot dad, definitely not a gross OLD dad! :)

TentCamper said...

Besides the fact that I got one inviting me to watch the taping of a porn...after going to some link and filling out a survey...

I am getting a lot of 'snail mail' spam from the Hover-round. they must think I am your granddad. (although...I'd actually love to have one of those!)

Youngblood4ever said...

Dang that's funny! Was the porn at least good? You know I am just kidding, right?

Sandi said...

I've gotten those legitimate sounding spam comments a lot lately too but on a slightly different topic. haha No porn sites that I am aware of anyway =/

Kai said...

I feel somewhat neglected at the lack of orgasm-increasing, penis-enlarging, sex-toy spam I manage not to recieve. I agree with PP - you're not old and yea, you're hot. ;0)

nitebyrd said...

You're not old and you're sexy. Spam knows nothing of where it goes. I get the exact same spam as well as the black-market Viagra and penis enlarging drugs.

I actually might order one of those Russian girls. I seriously need help around the house.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Dadshouse-- Good one! lol! Seriously forgot to come back and read the comments and just found your comeback. Seriously, why are you not snatched up yet???

Janie Woods said...

O holy hell! I'm a product reviewer for Eden Fantasies so I'm used to the spam in my inbox (why does that sound soooo nasty???). I never knew it happened to others. How funny!

viagra online said...

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Contribute a better translation

mistermamasir said...

I get all kinds of sex toy and viagra "comments" on my blog all the time.
Except that it's a print design blog.
About.. paper.. and ink.. and absolutely nothing relevant to what I write about.

But it's good to know that if I need my penis enlarged I have a varied selection of products to choose from.

*cough*

X vids said...

Lol. This is funny!

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