Ask Hot Dads

With the questions now starting to flow in...here are Hot Dads' answers to what you all have been asking. Remember...our wisdom is infinate, intense and coveted by schollars throughout the world...so take it slow and easy.

Keep the questions coming in...OR - try to stump us. Ask questions that you think we can't answer.

ChocDrop asked: What are your favorite things to do with your kids?

TentCamper says: roughhouse, front yard sports, homework, go to the beach. Also, with my kids I like to sit back and just watch them. I am either completely amazed with them or am shell-shocked at some of the insane things that they do and say.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Garden, rough house, matchbox/hot wheels, tea parties (for the daughter)

DaddyGeekBoy says: I love taking them to amusement parks. I love taking my son to movies and can’t wait till my daughter is old enough to join us. The park is always a fun adventure. And I love eating our way through a good farmer’s market.

DadsHouse says: Eat dinner. We do it nightly, the half-time they are in my house.

Hubman says: Damn near anything, but I especially enjoy one-on-one time with my son, what he calls "man time". It can be as simple as he and going for a little bike ride or as big as a long weekend road trip, just he and I, to my mothers. My daughter is still a bit young (3), but any time that she spends with me instead of clinging to mom is cool. We've taken to laying in the hammock in the yard together after dinner and chatting about whatever comes from her pea-sized little brain.

Southern Sage says: Watch them learn, you know when you are teaching them and see the light bulb come on in their head. I love that and I love when they succeed at anything that they have had to prepare for, like sports if they really practice hard for it then succeed at it that’s excellent.

LiteralDan says: My two favorite things would probably be reading books and playing soccer at the park, closely followed by "watching movies" with them, which involves them sitting next to me on the couch hypnotized while I nod off happily. Does that make me a bad person?


ChocDrop asked: When you have some 'alone' time, what is the one thing you do to help you reach the big 'O'?

TentCamper says: I don’t really need much help in that department…my Mariah does all that I could ever need. We sometimes watch porn but our collection has been collecting dust lately.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Porn

DaddyGeekBoy says: I find touching my penis with my hand is quite effective.

DadsHouse says: Go on a date!

Hubman says: First a nice wholesome kid question, then this? I'm a very visual person, so it usually involves porn of some sort. That, or think about my wife ;-)

Southern Sage says: Watch/read porn!


Shelle asked: We have a play group, where a bunch of us Mom's get together at a park or splash pad or eating establishment with a Play Place and talk while the kids play. Anyway... there is this Stay-at-Home-Dad in our neighborhood, who has kids my kids' age and I was wondering how awkward it would be for him if I asked him to join us??? Would he want to be asked? I know his kids would love it... but what do you guys think? I know most guys don't really care about feeling included or whatever... but maybe it would be a nice break for him in the day like it is for the rest of us???And then, if you think that I should invite him... uh... any tips on how to approach him about it? I'm not gonna lie I would be a tad bit nervous! :)

TentCamper says: I say invite him. I am one of those dads who ends up doing a lot of stuff with moms and although I sometimes feel a bit out of place or uninterested in where conversations go…I think I’d feel left out if I were not invited. I would say to just tell him that a group of you have regular play dates and that you’d love for them to join you when it fit their schedule. That way it would be up to him and he could go here and there. In my case…As a guy…I love being surrounded by women.

That being said…I hope you are considering this out of kindness and not that you think he is hot and want to have a little extra time around him. Yes…I know how women think. Behave yourself!

DaddyGeekBoy says: So let me get this straight…you’re worried about asking a SAHD to hang out with a bunch of hot moms so that his kids can play with their peers and he can have a few kid-free minutes to hang with adults? I don’t think you have any reason to be nervous about asking him. Worst thing he can do is say “no thanks.”

DadsHouse says: Yes, he would want to be asked!!!!! I'm a work-from-home single dad, and most neighborhood moms won't come near me with a ten foot pole. It's lonely! Just a cup of coffee would be nice, while the kids play. (My kids are older now, but when they were younger - playdates would have been nice.)

Just ask him - the kids would love to get together. Would he be into a playdate at the park?

Hubman says: Just ask him. Tell him there is a group of stay-at-home parents that gets together with the kids occasionally and ask if he like to join. If he asks in there are any others dads, be honest and tell him no. Otherwise, he figure it out and be happy to be around a bunch of young (maybe even good lookin') moms.

Southern Sage says: LOL! Well I would. What would be better than having 3-4-5-6 chicks and me. The odds are leaving my way so that would be cool but he would prolly only do that a time or two and get bored with it.

Well that might be the case, why not just let him drop his kids off then go have some alone time! Or go see his girl friend? He'd be more apt to be in for that.

Why nervous, just say hey us stay homers meet up every now and then and bring the kids to play together and talk and such. Wanna come?

LiteralDan says: I don't think it would be especially awkward at all, and I urge you to do it. With him being in the minority of the group, he's probably not going to put himself out there inviting himself over, so it's up to the rest of your to make him feel as welcome as all the other parents. The worst he can do is say no, and even if he does, I'd still ask at least a few more times in the future.

I, of all people, can understand about feeling nervous in that kind of social situation, but I say just approach it the same way you would any mom. Especially since you have a whole group, this should be a no-brainer. There's no way for him to misconstrue your invitation, and the public setting (as well as the short attention spans and unpredictable needs of children) offers him several easy outs if he shows up and comes to regret it.

Good luck!


Mariah asked: What would you do if your daughter was involved with someone who had “baggage” would you let her sort it out or would you point out the obvious signs?

TentCamper says: I think it would be important to discus with her past experiences that you’ve had…in similar circumstances, without pointing fingers at her boyfriend’s ‘baggage.” Then again, if his baggage is affecting her in a negative way, then I’d suggest kicking his ass stepping in. I do think, in general, that when kids get to be teens, they need to learn how to figure this shit out on their own…otherwise in college and as adults…they’ll be fucked!

DaddyGeekBoy says: When my younger sister was in the midst of her teenage dating fiasco years, I would constantly point out to her all of the things, obvious to me, that her boyfriends were doing and exactly where the situation was going to go wrong. Every single time she ignored my advice, only to come to me after the fact and say, “You were right.” I think you can point out the signs all of you want, but the chances are very good that your daughter isn’t going to listen. I think sometimes you have to let kids learn some lessons on their own. As long as she’s not getting mistreated, I’d just monitor the situation.

DadsHouse says: I'd put a contract out on the guy. (Just kidding! Watch me get arrested.)(This is tentcamper's answer, btw. NOT dadshouse.)I had a cousin involved with a sketchy guy. My dad tried talking to her about it. She didn't want to hear it. She was in her 20s. Teens, I think all you can do is ask questions about what your daughter wants for herself, and is she getting that in the relationship. i.e. let her figure out that the guy is sketchy and she should leave him. Don't tell her directly, or she'll just get mad.

Hubman says: What sort of "baggage" are we talking about? My girl is only 3, so I'm in complete denial about this ever happening. Yeah, I'm no help at all with this one....

Southern Sage says: I would point out the obvious signs, as well as point out the long term consequences of that baggage.

LiteralDan says: Not having kids in this age group, I hereby provide you with a giant grain of salt to take this advice with, but I'd say the best you can do is point out your concerns once, and then let them worm their way into her thought process. The more you push, the more she'll push back, and she just might end up eloping out of spite.

Conversely, maybe you should even actively embrace him in a way that will make him totally unappealing to her. Then pick out some safe nerd to forbid her from ever speaking to in any way. You should be all set then.


Mariah asked: I always thought it would be hot to dress up in heels and cook dinner in a sexy outfit and then feed you (TentCamper) foods that bring out feelings. Not sexual, (It could be, and would probably end there) but primarily focusing on the emotions by using certain foods and scents. Is this a girl thing? Would any of you Hot Dads find this hot?

TentCamper says: In concept, I don’t think it is just a girl thing, but I don’t see myself being emotionally triggered by foods (unless you are talking about seafood, Tequila or grape punch…which you know will make me vomit.) BUT…please feel free to dress in some skimpy, revealing outfit and serve me anything you want…we’ll see how it goes.

DaddyGeekBoy says: Yeah, that’d be kind of hot. But if you’re going to spend a meal getting us all worked up, there has to be a payoff. Otherwise it’s just mean.

DadsHouse says: Heels and boyshorts an a lacey bra would be so hot, you could venture into all the feelings territory you wanted. No problem!

Hubman says: What sort of sexy outfit? I think a picture is necessary to fully appreciate this question ;-)Seriously, I think this is a girl thing. I wonder what the other Hot Dads will have to say. Though if Veronica wants to dress up and cater to me, I would happily play along!

Southern Sage says: I always get turned on when eating. If you were going to do that for me just fry something, anything, that turns me on! Other than that the only scent I can think of I like is vanilla. I don't think I equate any scent with any emotion.

LiteralDan says: Sure, why not?? Any one part of that scenario is a winner, so all of them together is definitely a great idea. Now, if HE tries to put on heels when he cooks for you in return, that could be a sign you might be headed for some rocky days in the relationship.