Well first I have to tell you about my ex-wife, she is a pilot and had a bad scare last week. My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.
Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her.
The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating). The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.
The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft. She was really lucky.
Come on now thats funny right there!!!
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house
Also if you have a daughter you should hit this post Contract to Date my Daughter.
1. That's just mean for her to take the dog off!
2. Need AC work? Here is your man.
3. Ok I'm in!
4. I spect some of y'all feel this way!
5. Me and Maxine are on the same page here for sure.
6. Haaaaaaaaaaaaa
Caption Contest.......
Amaze your friends, be the first to tell them:
At five minutes and six seconds after 4 AM on the 8th of July this year, the time and date will be 04:05:06 07/08/09. This will never happen again!!!!!!!!!!
Now gimmie your caption and then go hit Sageville Slides. (nsfw) <---- that always gets em to look!
The Boy and the Pine Forest
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One day, his parents drove him several hours outside of the city and the
place that he knew as home. They passed by meadows, farms and forests on
the way t...
24 comments:
I can't believe there's an air conditioning company called Stiff Nipples. That's hilarious.
And that broom in the ground. hehe
And the caption photo...hmmm...I'm at a loss. That tree is awesome.
"Mary can barely contain her excitment regarding her botanical find, the rare Magnacockalicious Satisfacticus tree!"
i have seen the stiff nipples one before. cracks me up
"No Dear, you got back to the hotel room. I'll be along shortly."
or
"10,000 years later, an alien species uncovers a photograph that explains the end of the human race. Men no longer needed."
"I wonder if I, can, just, pull ,one of these off. GOD...They feel good in my hands!"
I feel kinda left out, evidently my size is up higher than the pic shows!
'Palm' tree
When Jane killed a buried her dick of a husband 20 years ago, she never dreamed this would happen!
"Gee, I guess those Extenze really do work?? Oh , Bill, dear...."
"Evelyn was overjoyed with the results of her Viagra/MiracleGro fertilizer mix."
Lol y'all ain't right.
Pick-a-dick palm tree??
Mary, realizing it was illegal to deface a national park, wondered how she could break one off and stick it in her, uh, purse.
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!
"Lorena Bobbitt finally reveals to authorities where she buried the piece she cut off."
The first joke is hilarious.
Caption:
On a lifelong quest to see if there is anywhere in the world where money actually does grow on trees, Aggie is thrilled to stumble across the often talked about, but never photographed, "penis tree".
Great funnies.
Caption:
"Men are like trees. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find a good one."
heh heh
Ahhh I'm only 1/3 through my first overnight shift in a long while. The laughs helped keep me from curling up under my desk and falling asleep.
Thanks!
Lol
Y'all ain't right!! excellent captions! ha
"Mary searched the world far and wide for a great piece of wood This is what she found."
I love the pic of the chick, makes me giggle
A day late for Sunday but I had to say, I laughed at the broom picture. Alot.
The differences between men and women.... so TRUE!!
Thanks for the giggles Sage!
"A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house"
Lol! That one killed me for some reason.
Love the broom thing too.
The time and date thing is cool as hell. I'll have to remember that. =)
Can I get the address to lick-a-chick. I would like to put myself on the menu :)
Sadly #4 is all too familiar...
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