Thursday, February 5, 2009

Temperature Sensitivity in Adolescents

I think I’ll apply for a federal grant to study “Why The Hell My Kids are Always Hot When it’s Cold, and Cold When it’s Hot. More specifically, they make no effort to dress to suit the environmental conditions, the way a sane person would.

It’s the beginning of February and anywhere on this continent above the Mason-Dixon Line, it’s still considered winter. However, yesterday was mild and sunny, a blistering 6 degrees above freezing, which the 14 Year Old has taken for his signal that ‘jackets are no longer required’. For the next two months, I’ll be fighting with him to keep him from freezing to death because of one decent day. Come the Ides of March and he’ll be in shorts for the duration.

In the summer, this same child wants the fan on right next to his bed. He won’t open the window, take down the curtain he has draped over his bunk or even switch to non-flannel pajamas. “But Dad, I can’t sleep without the quilt. It feels weird!” So he lies there all night, sweating and stinking up the room.The girl, on the other hand, wants me to put on the heat in the car In August. I’ll agreed to roll up the windows (it was over 80 degrees at 3PM), but that’s never enough. She’ll curl up under an old fleece sweater of mine (covered in dog hair) and keep the in-seat warmer turned on the whole drive. Seems reasonable, if a little high maintenance. But, like her brother, the 12 year old never does anything the way the adult world does. She put her legs through the sleeves and pulled it up over her waist, like malformed, fuzzy hip waders.Who are these people?!And they fight putting on sun block because they claim they don’t have sensitive skin. But God forbid you try to get them to put on sweater. “IT’S TOO ITCHY!!”

I’m sure there is someone on Obama’s new Research Council who can get behind this initiative.

Posted by Trooper Thorn

12 comments:

BedsideTalesMan said...

How true it is. Our kids are freaks of nature too. Though we live in southern California. It could be cold and rainy...what do they wear?....shorts and t shirts. Hot days, long pants and sweat shirts...I don't get it. Maybe humans don't develop proper temerature guages until they hit 18.....
Freaks, I tell ya!

Mariah said...

I'm bedsidetalesman fiance, Mariah. And I hear ya!! Thankfully we live in Ca. where it never gets TOO cold because I think our teen would flip out if she couldn't wear shorts and tank tops. What's wrong with them??

Trooper Thorn said...

California! Why didn't I think of that? So long Canada!

Anjeny said...

Love this post. I can soo totally relate. I think my kids are freaks too...a couple of them insist on having the fan on full blast while they curled up under a very heavy blanket.

When it's blasting hot out, my 14 yrs old son go out bundled up from head to toe, in long pants and sweater, here Hawaii!! What the heck?

I think it's some secret club all the kids belong to no matter where they are in this world where they learn to do these things just to drive their parents to some mental institution or something.

GutsyWriter said...

Almost sounds like a woman with PMS.
I know what you mean though.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I understand and this affliction transcends cultures too. At school pick up yesterday I spotted a girl in the shortest of shorts with tights and a belly top. But she put a sweater on top so hey she must be warm right? There were plenty of kids with no coats (and it's a lovely balmy 35 degrees here), coats unzipped, carrying coats. These are mostly the teens at the school. Then comes my little 7 year old, hat, coat up to the chin and wellies on his feet. Ah, he's trained well. For now anyway.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Research all in the name of economic stimulus, TT.

It's Just Me said...

I just keep telling myself it has to do with their lack of complete brain development. Common sense is uncommon is kids - really!

thefirstdayofautumn said...

oh the part about your daughter really had me giggling. i know i am constantly asking my 11 year old "where's your hat?" it's always in his backpack, why? take it out and put it on, it's cold outside! kids don't make much sense sometimes, but oddly, we can all remember being there.

Mama Dawg said...

I swear I'm not stalking you Trooper. I didn't know you had a new playplace.

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

Research shows that teenagers use these non standard temperature reactions to just plain old piss you off.

Funny stuff.

Trooper Thorn said...

Anjeny: Pants are available for sale in Hawaii? Why must you ruin my illusions?

GutsyWriter: Good analogy. Sometimes there is enough uncontrolled crying to make me wonder. And that's just the boy...

MamaAndrea: I suspect the i-Pod is a heat source as no child walking to school with one wears a coat.

AHuC: I'll apply for any feredal grant I can get.

It's Just Me: They get better around 20. You just need to keep them alive, sober and sterile until then.

Autumn: They also ride their bikes with their helmets on the handlebars. Not very effective, but at least their hair's not messed up.

Mama Dawg: I'll pop up when you least expect it!

Me/Mom/Wife: I knew it!

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