I think I’ll apply for a federal grant to study “Why The Hell My Kids are Always Hot When it’s Cold, and Cold When it’s Hot. More specifically, they make no effort to dress to suit the environmental conditions, the way a sane person would.
It’s the beginning of February and anywhere on this continent above the Mason-Dixon Line, it’s still considered winter. However, yesterday was mild and sunny, a blistering 6 degrees above freezing, which the 14 Year Old has taken for his signal that ‘jackets are no longer required’. For the next two months, I’ll be fighting with him to keep him from freezing to death because of one decent day. Come the Ides of March and he’ll be in shorts for the duration.
In the summer, this same child wants the fan on right next to his bed. He won’t open the window, take down the curtain he has draped over his bunk or even switch to non-flannel pajamas. “But Dad, I can’t sleep without the quilt. It feels weird!” So he lies there all night, sweating and stinking up the room.The girl, on the other hand, wants me to put on the heat in the car In August. I’ll agreed to roll up the windows (it was over 80 degrees at 3PM), but that’s never enough. She’ll curl up under an old fleece sweater of mine (covered in dog hair) and keep the in-seat warmer turned on the whole drive. Seems reasonable, if a little high maintenance. But, like her brother, the 12 year old never does anything the way the adult world does. She put her legs through the sleeves and pulled it up over her waist, like malformed, fuzzy hip waders.Who are these people?!And they fight putting on sun block because they claim they don’t have sensitive skin. But God forbid you try to get them to put on sweater. “IT’S TOO ITCHY!!”
I’m sure there is someone on Obama’s new Research Council who can get behind this initiative.
Posted by Trooper Thorn
The Boy and the Pine Forest - One day, his parents drove him several hours outside of the city and the place that he knew as home. They passed by meadows, farms and forests on the way t...