Monday, February 9, 2009

People are Idiots

I was already fair amped up this past weekend. What with being ill, having a sick wife and two sick kids. The real frustration was Mr. B sniffing his nose sniffing his nose every 17 seconds. (I wish I was employing a little hyperbole there, but it got so bad I was timing it.) Heck, he had to blow his nose twice while I was peeing (the Wife was napping). So there I stood, my willy in one hand and a tissue in the other (for a very different reason than I've ever had before).

Well the Wife finally awoke, and with elevated blood pressure I headed off to the grocery store. Because, getting behind the wheel of a car is a good thing to do when you are edgy. Right? (That scene from "Ground Hog Day" keeps popping in my head, "Don't drive angry!")

So I pull into the turn lane so I can get to the parking lot for Target. There are a couple cars in front of me already (no biggie). I pull up behind the car in front of me and open my windows (the temp is in the 60's on the way to the 70's), when I notice that the ditz in the car in front of me has left an entire car length to the white line marking the intersection. This means that she is so far back, that she won't trigger the left turn light when the time comes. (She wasn't sitting on the ground sensor for the light.)

I wanted to do nothing more than lean on my horn. I figured that either a) she would get pissed off (I was almost there already), b) she wasn't paying attention and would shoot into the intersection (that would be bad), or c) she would creep forward. Only one of those would have been a desired result, so I resorted to signing really loudly (which, quite honestly could have had similar results as honking my horn).

Well, finally some else pulled in behind me to trigger the second sensor. Off we went.

Only to have to deal with "Parking Lot Idiocy".

As I'm cruising the Target parking lot for a parking spot (I keep hearing that we are in a recession, but people seem to be spending money just fine around here), I am confronted with three Moms and their daughters. The Moms are engaged in conversation and couldn't be bothered with getting their brood out of the middle of the road.

This time, I did honk the horn. The worst case scenario would have been the kid running into my stopped car this time. After laughing off dirty looks (how dare I not run over their kids!) I found a parking spot out in the boonies.

People are idiots.

Posted by Russ @ Dads Who Mock The World

16 comments:

Southern Sage said...

The hunt for idiots is not a lick of fun. They can be found anywhere, any time.

drleah@singlemommyhood.com said...

Target seems to attract just that type of parking lot idiocy.

Hmm...How do I know? I shop there all the time. *Pause for thought* Have I ever fit the "idiocy profile"? Hope not.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

As I said on my blog - Stupid People -I looked but apparently they're not in the dictionary only in life.

Sounds like a delightful trip to Target.

BedsideTalesMan said...

Every time I know that I need to go to one of those Target-eaque stores....I get freakin panic attacks about what I'll find in the parking lots...and if I'll go to jail for running over some idiot or not.

Mariah said...

argh, people are idiots! Parking in the boonies from the get go is the best bet.

T said...

Everyone looks like an idiot when you're feeling terrible and impatient.... or maybe that's just when they come out? Hmmm...

Youngblood4ever said...

AMEN! My kids laugh at me because I love to talk to other people and tell them they are being stupid. (Like they can hear me in their car.) Oh well, people are idiots!

Another Suburban Mom said...

Just be glad you went to Target. The Walmart shoppers are way dumber

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Are you sure you weren't at Costco? Cause it sounds a lot like the goings on in the Costco parking lot.

goooooood girl said...

your blog is so good......

Mama Dawg said...

Here, here. I hate all of those scenarios. Gratefully, I live so far out in the boondocks, it's not an issue for me anymore.

SweetPeaSurry said...

This is exactly why I love having weekdays off. I can get twice as much done in half as much time.

LiteralDan said...

The sound of a car horn is the most accurate name for an idiot. Always call it out whenever you see one, so they know who they are.

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

My husband's fall back mantra to stop him from running people down in similar situations is "Stupid people DON'T KNOW that they are stupid." It helps him calm down and show compassion or not commit vehicular homicide.

Hope you guys are feeling better.

Trooper Thorn said...

Recent studies have shown evidence of an as yet unverified condition known as Auto-stationary Dementia, where individuals of average to functional intelligence lose up to 15intelligence points simply by driving into a parking lot.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Are you ABSOLUTELY sure it was a female driver? lol...because its the SENIOR drivers that do that kind of stuff around here...our own personal traffic jam...gotta love it!!!

But as for parking lots...I will say women tend to be somewhere else while walking down the middle of the road oblivious to cars behind them...

:)

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