Tuesday, February 17, 2009

When 'Recall' does not work

Ever had a nasty email go to the wrong person? The one that it was about?
Well, that just happened to my ex...and it was sent to me.

Here goes!

First Email…to a friend of hers – but it got sent to me accidentally

Can you please hang out at the school, at pick up to make sure he's there on time to get J (7 yr old)? How much you wanna bet the a-hole won't spend the time with them alone and takes them to Santa Monica to be with the other trailer trash? Not that I should trust him to do homework with J(7 yr old)...he can't spell for shit anyway!

Thanks and see you tomorrow night.

My response…

I am not refusing to communicate...you have sent me 5 or 6 emails today and are trying to 'run' my visits. I will pick them up and then have them home by 7PM.

Secondly, this weekend we are going camping and the boys will not be able to go to the birthday or the play date. Please let your friends know. We are leaving on Saturday morning and will be back Sunday evening.

1st 3rd and 5th weekends and every Wednesday are my time with the boys and, unfortunately for you, I will be deciding what we are going to be doing. It is not your place to; tell me what I should/can do with them, tell the boys about events on my weekends (you should inform me) or expect that I report in to you on everything that we do. You leave town and don't tell me where you are going, what flights you are on....I have yet to receive any reports from either school or doctors about how things are going...who is not communicating?

And feel free to stop bad-mouthing me to the boy's friends' parents...I think that just makes things much harder with respect to me bringing them to parties/events for those families.

Her response…

And, you are showing my friends that you are an asshole but doing things like this. And they see what you write about me. I'm not making you look bad, you are making yourself look bad.

Then she had my 4 year old call me to say that he wanted to go to a party that she told him about. Then she got on the phone and yammered on until I had to hang up on her.

Then I got this…

Wow. You are an asshole.

I am not trying to run your visits. You know nothing about the boys' day to day routine because of your refusal to communicate, so I have to let you know about their routine. You don't care about their dietary needs / restrictions even though I have mentioned them to you in the past. You haven't even logged into the Our Family Wizard site in weeks...on which I outlined our trip to Disney and the details. There haven't been any school reports, but again, I put everything including emergency numbers, etc in the Our Family Wizard because I am doing my part.

E is one of J’s (7 yr old) BEST FRIENDS and you already said you'd bring them to her party. If have it in an email and you told E’s mom you'd let them come.
C was one of J (4 yr old) best friends and you are denying them the opportunity to see him on his first and likely only visit back for a long time. You are purposely denying them of important events because of vengeance and ego. I just told the boys that you said they can't go to the party or to see C because you are taking them camping, and they said then they don't want to go to your house this weekend. They can go camping anytime. These are people that are important to them...who are a part of their everyday lives. All of their friends will be at these events. And, E’s Mom is calling you because E’s best friend now won't be at her party and she is very upset.

CANNOT WAIT TO go to court on the 9th.

...oh wait...then I got this one

I wish you would think about your children. You said you'd talk to them about it tomorrow? To put the burden on a 4 and 7 year old and go back on your promises to them, as you admitted on the phone, is awful.
And, clearly you were drunk when I just spoke to you --- are all the children in your house asleep?
Again, I look forward to our trip to court on the 9th.

....shit....and then this one

Also – I have many emails in which I offered to switch the weekends with you – weeks ago – because of this weekend’s important events. And, you said you’d bring them to the party since you couldn’t switch and would let me know about the Sunday event with their friend who moved away.

I will make sure to bring those emails to court. You can go camping anytime, but instead are choosing to lash out at me via to the boys’ detriment. That is quite obvious.



Tiff said...

Wow, obviously I don't know any of the details of your custody arrangement, but I hope she takes all of her own emails to court as well.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I also hope she takes the emails to court. It makes her look batshit crazy.

I am sure that they boys wouldn't care much about the party if she did not make such a big deal about it.

cIII said...

Damn dude.

She's just crazy as a Shithouse Rat, isn't she?!

I have seen first hand the effect this type of behavior has on Kids. It ain't right, what she's doing.

The silver lining is that there is a special ring of Hell reserved especially for her.


Hold fast.

April said...

That is really sad. My brothers mom use to pull this kinda shit, She would bribe them and lie to them about our dad so they wouldn't want to come over. Now that they are older, they hate her for everything she did. Your ex really needs to start thinking about the kids instead of just trying to be a bitch to you.
Because of what I witnessed all my life, when I got divorsed, we made a deal to not talk shit about each other to or around our son. So far, that has worked. We also don't believe in going to court all the time. I both had to compromise and our first court date was our last. I pray, for your boys and your sake, she wakes up and realises what she is doing to those boys. Sorry so long, this shit just really pisses me off.

Red from Ktown said...

Wow, this whole situation is just sad, sad, sad. It takes two to parent, especially after a divorce, and by her acting all crazy-bitch, that will make the kids eventually resent her. That's too bad.

Just know that as long as you think you are doing what you think is right for the boys, that things will be OK.

Good luck.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I feel bad for the kids. No one wins in this and the kids are the ones who get hurt the worst.

Susan said...

Wow. I hope you can put her misery towards you aside and continue to do what's best for the kids.

Barney said...

When will some realize that the issues are between the parents and that the kids should never be put in the middle...

To have the child call at her request is a form of menatl abuse in my eyes...

Crazy doesnt even start to cover it...
Im a single Mom of two - whose fathers dont even give a shit where their kids are let alone.....nevermind I wont get started..

your doing what you need to do.. being a father.. way to go

Maximilian said...

It won't truly have effect, I suppose so.
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