Saturday, February 28, 2009

A Hairy Situation, by Russ

So I was brushing my teeth last night after my weekly (guaranteed) shower, checking out my glorious self. (Your mileage of my gloriousness in all of my glory may differ.) I’m starting to notice changes. Nothing drastic, in either direction. Yes, I haven’t been exercising like I should be, but I do get a walk in nearly every day (unless the Wife needs a chance to clear her mind by walking the pooch at night).

What have I noticed you ask?

Well, while I have never been accused of having a sweater on at the pool, no one would contend that I am, in fact, male and have completed puberty. I.E. I do have a modest amount of body hair. It is this hair that is in question.

Part of it is that it is going gray. Now the hair on my head has been graying since high school and I have come to terms with that long ago. But it is migrating south! My chest hair is graying, and more concerning, it’s graying south of the border! Call me a wuss, but I ain’t plucking that region and I don’t do “manscaping” (if it worked for the Wife, I would reconsider, but I’m not doing it for fun). It just feels like that region should be looking its best at all times. Snow on the roof is OK, but snow in the basement seems like an issue.

Some say that gray hair shows maturity, age, and wisdom. Some people are idiots! (Not all, like if you dear reader thought that. You would not be an idiot.) These people don’t know me. Few would accuse me of maturity. Hell, I still play video games and enjoy playing with my son’s matchbox cars. This is not a normal sign of maturity.

The other issue: the hair is not coming in balanced. Huh? You say. Well, my right pec has more hair (both containing color and not) than my left pec. My left side actually has a bald spot! (Better there than on my head!)

That is what is bothering me more that the graying itself. Why can’t I grow the same amount of hair on both sides of my body? Guys, is this normal? I only pay attention to my children and my Wife at the pool (and certainly not other guys, although the odd bikini clad lady may slip through the filter from time to time).


Hubman said...

I've got the same thing going on! I've been noticing some gray hairs on my chest and I have more hair on the left side of my stomach than the right. WTF?

At least I'm not the only one...

Anonymous said...

Too funny my brotha!!!!

I am starting to have some grays move in. and I don't like it. I have always had jet black hair and I thought that as long as I act young...the grays would not dare try to move much for that. I don't know about the uneveness...I have about as much hair on my chest as a 14 year old.

Just A Chic... said...

Down south going gray wouldn't bother me on a man. I like to feel it but for some reason I don't like looking at the little bastards.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Gray hairs are nothing new around here. At thirty one I'm freaking out about all the ones sporting residence on my head.
I can imagine that would be a little bit unsettling to find the little buggers elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Actually I wish the hair on my dome would hurry and fall out! The rest of it that is. I combed it last in the 90's but if the rest would fall out we'd save on shampoo!

Rhea said...

Gray hair down below would be like doin' grandpa...I don't know...

Russ said...

Damn guys, sorry! None of these forwarded to my email!

Hubman: Solidarity!

BTM: I didn't even start getting most of my chest hair until I had kids, two years later they go gray!

Chic: I don't like looking at them either. But what do you do?

Andrea: Finding them on my chest is bad enough, but south of the border? That's just hitting below the belt.

Sage: you could always shave! That's what one of my buddies does.

Rhea: Kind of my fear! I don't want the Wife thinking that, it just kills the mood.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Oh, I've given up trying to understand my body hair. I'm just gonna let it overtake me until I'm vaguely Wookie-ish.

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