Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Too tired? Sexual Pondering.

Sage here,
There are many things I can't figure, things that seem simple to me that other foul up. I drive a lot, alone and get to figure on things, here's one.

We have all heard the jokes and our buddies say or might have even lived through this yourself. When the man wants sex and the woman says "I'm to tired".
(I'm sure this is applicable in reverse)

To what??
To tired???

Do What?? Come again Sweet-ums.

WTF is to tired? To tired for what?

Sugar you don't have to chase me. You don't have to get on top, you don't have to do anything. Damn, read a book, hell write a book, just let me hit it while you do it.

You are to tired? Come on now. I'm not asking you to run a damn marathon. Get ur britches down and lay there. I'll hurry. Damn. Thats insane. I'd prolly blow a fuse if I ever heard that.

In the brides defense she never used that one before.

She has used her monthly visitor before as an excuse (not that I cared but she seemed to) and I quickly pointed out that her lip nor her tongue was bleeding any!

Anyway, I have often thought about that. Bet your ass I ain't ever to tired. EVER. I mean if I was on the edge of to tired (or just out of surgery or an active participant in an on-going car wreck) and she was game on and said "just lay there" I'd be all for that!

I have often thought that some females used their wares bass-ackwards. I hear them say things like "well he doesn't help out around the house" He doesn't take out the trash" "he doesn't help me with the kids" Blah blah blah blah

So why should I give him what he wants.

Then you ask when did y'all last do the hokie pokie? "Oh it was ummmmmm"
Well hell no if you can't even recall when I bumped up against it, I damn sure ain't doing extra around here, I'll do it myself and you haul the trash off!!!!

You can pretty much bet a few things.
Either
She doesn't like it, for whatever reason.
He ain't doing it right.
or shes playing her hand wrong.

If she likes it, and he can get her to the promised land or at least close enough for her to finish up quickly on her own, then she is playing her hand wrong. She should change her tactics. She should put it on him morning, noon, and night. At every opportunity. Offer it up to him, all the time. Half way through dinner. Every half time. The seventh inning stretch. When he comes in for a drink half way through cutting the grass. She should reward him WITHOUT him knowing its a reward, pay it forward, if you will.

That cat would be tickled. He would be all for hauling the trash or whatever his downfall is. He'd want nothing to come between his girls want/lust/desire for his obvious stellar goodness and delicious aptitude in sexual relations! He is such an outstanding lover that she wants him all the time.
Yes ladies, make him feel like the man, then he will act like the man, and be the man....

(like I said at the top, these tactics will prolly work in reverse)

I'm out.

Posted by Sage

22 comments:

Mariah said...

Sage, you are a nut head. It's true though, so many woman use sex for and against their man when they are upset about something. It's silly to hold out, you're just torchering yourself... =)

Jennybean said...

Sage- will you send me a daily reminder of your plan? MMkay thanks!

BedsideTalesMan said...

Very well said my man. I agree that if you (man or woman) are tired...just lie there and ...be pleasured!

April said...

I about fell out of my chair laughing on that one. So true in all aspects.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Ummm...what else can you hang over their heads? Do guys care for anything else?

Not that I DO that...just wondering...

:)

Mariposa said...

Well, use it for or against...by *use* I gather yes, always regardless of the motivation?! ;)

And oh well, my problem is I don't get tired...I need to use up my energy! LOL

Another Suburban Mom said...

Everyone gets tired once in a while. Even me. Even Hubman. What we do is take a raincheck for the next morning.

Now if you are tired all the time...then there are problems.

Anjeny said...

Does it really work for you guys like that? I would think if she just lay there like that while you're getting it on, you might as well go out and find a log to hump..LOL.

Sorry, this post was just too funny.

I Smile 2 Much said...

:)

Believe me, offering, giving, wanting, craving & seducing my hubby keeps him happy but it doesnt mean he's gonna vacuum anytime too soon :D

My hubby just says I'm sex crazed because I've never "had a headache" or been "tired" in all 11+ yrs of knowing him. He says I need to learn to "settle down" and not want him so much & wait sometimes because "its good for me". (his words, not mine)

So what's the solution for that- is what I wanna know :)

*smiles*

Mariposa said...

I can relate with Smiley...so that is what I mean with be no getting tired at all...LOL

And well, I am manic most of the time too...

To add one important thing, sex cause the human body to produce morphine...which is a substance for analgesic, so if you have headache, all the more sex can help!

Wow...I can make a nice post on this...LOL

Hope said...

Just lay there? I don't do "hole".
but I hear what your saying...]

noted.

Southern Sage said...

Mariah: its all true all true!!
Some women do, its usually the young ones though.

Jenny: You got my number, or my email anyway!

BTM: There ya go!

april: glad you sniggered!!

SBT: Hmmmm well you can wait on em hand and foot but thats a lot harder than doing the HP whenever he wants it!

Southern Sage said...

Mari: always pay it forward! then if he really wont do shit then you take the 17 times a week he was getting it and you have much to barter with!

ASM: Yes once in while but as an excuse, noooooooo

Anj: If he's gettin it so much that he's turning it down then yes you have leverage....

Smiley: you come to my house silly. thats your remedy! If he won't do it then you might need some lessons!!!
;-)

Mari: I always powder my lil stuff with aspirin powder and she can take it any way she wants if she has a headache!!

Hope: He prolly won't do trash then!

T said...

Yeah, I don't think I've ever used that one either.

Damn Sage, its been so long... I can't even imagine torturing myself by not givin' it up. I'm with you, treat me like a woman and I'll BE the woman.

Amen.

Southern Sage said...

T any man would be foolish not to treat like THE Woman.... He's missing out if he doesn't, I suspect!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Research shows you're right Sage. I have a nice little book that talks about all this and you are certainly right. If a man is being appreciated where it counts for him (ie the bedroom) he's far more likely to join in on the mundane event of taking out the trash.

As for the tired bit, well, I have to argue on that. Quite frankly there are times I am simply too tired to lay there while 'you' get busy. And it's not an excuse. Trying doing everything on the planet for everyone else and quite frankly you'll be tired too.

Southern Sage said...

BMA: Wel I should have been more clear, the tired I meant was when it was often, regularly used. Not every three months.

Glad your book proves me correct!

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

Sex is like sleep. The more you have of it...the more you want it. Keep the momentum going and it'll be feast rather than famine!

Sher said...

What I'd like to know is what it means when my man says He's too tired. Probably just that. He's actually too tired.
So, my question is this: Do men just say they want it all the time, but really don't, just to seem cooler?

SweetPeaSurry said...

That's freakin' awesome. I've always thought that way. Give it up, get it good, make a list for the honey to do!!!

Now ... I just need to find the honey!

Well spoken dude!

It's Just Me said...

First - this is funny and true.
Next-
You know really, it just takes a lot longer to get our engine "warmed up" the idea of "getting there" (to a mutually enjoyable point) can be tiring.

However, it does not work to get more work done around my house. If dearest is gone, dearest is gone. When he is home he is "too tired to work". (Which is true) But, you noticed I didn't say too tired for "it"

However, I will say this - Last summer I committed to "performing" every evening until he said stop.... eventually he was "too tired". But, man it took awhile ;)

Using too many " marks and (),
Jules

thefirstdayofautumn said...

i am never too tired. i could be awoken from a dead sleep and have sex. anytime. even with a headache. the extra lovin would actually make me cook and clean more cause i would be happy and fulfilled. does that make me weird? i don't think so. my ex bf got pissed off one time cause i wanted too much sex. he said "I'm not a machine!!!". I didn't even know how to respond to that.

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