Thursday, February 19, 2009

How Do I Know I Am The King, And Not Just A Schmuck?

Whoo! Okay, I finally made it over here to do my first post on Hot Dads. Please don’t judge me *sniff* I’m sensitive and all; I just might run and hide if you folks were angry with me. I have my reasons, though, primarily due to job searching and chasing after my Wee Lass. She is fast, especially when she is nude and running around prior to her bath.

Speaking of Wee Lass, that brings me to this post. There has been a lot of talk recently about the things that the wee ones do that make us crazy, the repetitive rituals they want to do, or the stubborn refusal to stay in bed once they are in bed, and I have to say I’m all over that like white on rice. The awesomesauce that is the Fruit o’ My Loins is an amazing critter in her own right. She has her own fixations that are cute on one hand and drive me batshit crazy on the other.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter more than life itself. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her or make her happy. And that includes putting underwear on my head and doing the Dance of Joy around the living room. What? Who hasn’t done that?

It isn’t stretching the truth to say that I would do anything to make her smile, hear her laugh. I wish I had an audio clip of her laugh to embed with this, because it truly does make me melt and call down some rainbows and generally make me feel like there is nothing in this world that could hurt me or make me want to run and hide.

Her laugh does make me feel like Superman.

Which brings me back to the subject of rituals. Wee Lass is fond of her rituals, bedtime and drop off at day care, you name it. Lately, she has taken to a certain insistence on a number of hugs n’ smooches to be administered before we part, no matter what we are doing. She even gets oddly specific as to the number of hugs and smooches to be delivered. Today it was 10 hugs and 10 smooches, plus one extra. And all of them have to be counted out when delivered, no shirking there.

I don’t mind so much when everything is calm, and I can do my thing to fulfill parental obligations, get some luv and then move on. But lately, Wee Lass has taken on the characteristics of Velcro when I try to leave her anywhere. She gets all weepy and clingy and keeps wanting to show me stuff or help her talk to other people.

As a dad who Gives A Damn (I hope), I don’t mind catering to my daughter’s every whim. I do it all the time, probably more than I should. I have tended to play along, generally, because it was no skin off my back and it makes her happy. However, it can lead to some awkwardness and frustration. I haven’t yet figured out how to accommodate her with a minimum of fuss. And do that in a reasonable amount of time so as to be able to get in some reasonable “me” or “us” time for the evening!

In other words, how do I keep her happy but not feel like such a dick when I want to walk away?

I say this because Wee Lass has found a weakness, and she is getting pretty good at exploiting it. And it leaves me feeling like crap when I don’t realize at first that she is trying to be nice. As an example, our bedtime ritual includes a number of kisses/hugs in combination, to be determined by her. And by how much patience I can muster.

Last night, Wee Lass and I seemed to have reached an equilibrium of sorts. Or so I thought. She was a little calmer than usual, and in a good mood. I reckoned I could do my “6 hugs and kisses” and out, turn off the lights and head downstairs. So far, so good.

I had my hand on the doorknob. “Daddy! Daddy!”
“One more hug and kiss! Turn the light on! Please???”

So I turn around, turn on the light, and head back over to the bed for the hug and kiss. I turn to leave, light out, hand on door. “Daddy, daddy!....”

This repeats itself twice more, at which point I am starting to steam and get a little snappish. This pattern has been cycling over and over for weeks now. I know I should be more patient, but…”Daddy, Daddy!”

“WHAAAAATTT, NOW?!” gritting teeth, trying not to scream.
“One more thing, I want to tell you.” she says in that impossibly cute voice.
“I love you, Daddy, three times.”

I am absolutely gobsmacked. What can I say?

“I love you, too, sweet pea. You know that.”
“’Night, daddy.”
“Good night.”

So I slink off to the couch, feeling like a schmuck, but knowing that someone in my world thinks I am the shizznit. And that’s a good feeling, indeed.
Posted By Irish Gumbo


Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Love the tiel of the post Irish Gumbo....I loves me a modest man!!

As for kiddo, "Ain't She Sweet?" (okay that song is way before your time. God I feel like and old hag). Our four of ours are all grown up now and have lives and careers of their own. Trust me.....cherish that impossibly cute little voice for as long as you can. She'll take a nap and then she'll be 21. Trust me.......

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Anonymous said...

I 'feel' ya brotha. Great post!

With 4 in the house...we get all kinds of ...."but...wait's" and it does get a bit frustrating. You want to cherrish the 'cute' but not encourage the ...I know how to procrastinate with mommy and daddy...and I am gonna" It is usually ahen the second or third marches in that my eyes roll back and my head starts twiting in a Exorcist-like motion.

I have to say...there must be a cap.. otherwise it will go on and on and get longer and longer.

Shit...this is your post.

Thanks Bro-man

Another Suburban Mom said...

She has got your number! With the dropoff, when each of my kids got clingy, I would give them a hug and remind them that I would always come back. Then I would start getting them involved in an activity.

Once they were involved, I would wave and escape quickly!

Emmy said...

Great Post!!

My oldest daughter was like this until I discovered one day that she was playing me. I realized I had walked out with something of hers, and when I went to walk back to her, I saw her smiling and laughing where only seconds before she was crying and begging me not to go. It was the last day we had that issue.

Good luck! Sounds like you will need it with that one! :)

derfina said...

Cute and possibly playing you OR the beginnings of obsessive compulsive behavior!

Daddy Geek Boy said...

It's hard at the end of the night, when a little peace, quiet and the couch beckon.

Lately, the Bean has gotten into an endless loop of "Goodnight" expecting me to say "goodnight" back. If I close the door and leave before he's done, he will continue to say "goodnight!" growing louder and louder until I come back.

This can go on and on.

dizzy mom said...

1. Ah yes. I get the "But mommy I need you." "Please don't leave me mommy. Why you hurt my feelings?" Shit. Who taught her that trick! And she's only 3.

2. And I'm new here and had to comment on the side bar. I'm sure I'm not the first one to say this but in regards to "IF YOU ARE A HOT DAD BLOGGER...and would like a place to spew your hot bloggy wisdom..." Hello! I'm over here if any hot dad needs somewhere to spew their hot "wisdom". Oops. Not that kinda blog...too bad.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Dizzy just became one of my new favorite people.

Mama Dawg said...

They all seem to have that innate sense of when to be cute cause they know they're driving you crazy.

Mariah said...

i'm with mama dawg, they know exactely WHEN to be cute and they are always cute as shit when their pushing the buttons and asking for "but just one more...."

Laggin said...

I've see you around but never read your stuff. This just provoked a memory and I've got to go blog it.

Thanks for making me remember that I kinda, sorta like my kid. (Only just not right now.)

Irish Gumbo said...

MMMR: Thank you. She has given me a master class in being humble, no doubt.

BTM: 4!? Oh, lawd, I’m about to lose my mind with just the one. :) Spot on about the cap.

ASM: She had my number the instant she gave that first cry in the delivery room…

Emmy: Thank you. I have been played, I am a violin.

Derfina: OCD? Oh, shit, I’m in trouble…

DGB: It’s that loop that has me climbing the walls.

Dizzymom: 1) I haven’t heard that yet, but she has come REAL close :) 2) *blush*

MD: And you already know that cute does make me crazy :)

Mariah: Wee Lass is real good at it, too.

Irish Gumbo said...

Laggin: You're welcome! All part of the service pack that is IG!

Laggin said...

Go read might chuckle...cause you're kinda in it.

Barney said...

Im new to this blog...

and well.. wow...
Neither of my children have fathers (by their fathers choice) and it this just pulls at my cold, dead heart strings....

Kids are the best part of us...

Cherish it.. but in the same breath.. you have to be stern, cuz as they get just gets worse...

April said...

My daughter does the EXACT same thing. Also, when she is sick, she says "You have to come take care of me because you love me." They know how to work it!

Vodka Mom said...

How the HELL did I miss this?? Too self absorbed in my own world??? Just kick my ass next time for God's sake.


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