Thursday, February 12, 2009

Drama Unveiled !

I am completely losing my freaking mind here. I don’t even know where to start.

After getting home from volunteering at the kid’s middle school today, we got phone calls from both middle school kids saying that they were called into the school counselor’s office and were interviewed by Social Services. Upon hearing this, Mariah about lost her mind, while puking all over her insides.

We had no clue about any issues and we immediately called the school to find out what was going on. They explained that Social Services interviewed the two kids today due to an investigation that they are conducting. We hung up and could not dial the number for Social Services fast enough. With sweat pouring down our faces, we were given the number for the woman assigned to our case.

After leaving her a message that we were concerned and wanted to find out what was going on, she called back about 15 minutes later. She explained that they received a call from an ‘anonymous’ source claiming ‘general neglect and emotional abuse - that we; are alcoholics and drug addicts, leave the kids unsupervised for hours at a time and allow parties for our high school daughter with drugs and alcohol.

Now we were also told that the call came in on Saturday the 7th of February (the same day that I told my ex that if she did not bring my boys to me for my first overnight visit, that I would call the police.)

As the report is confidential, I can not say for sure who made the accusations, but I do have my suspicions. Now…I know that she dislikes, hates or distrusts me…and does not like Mariah (whom she has never met) but making accusations to CPS is absolutely out of control. How can someone who has never met Mariah or any of her kids, who has never stepped foot in our house, who has never spoken to anyone in this household and who knows no mutual friends…make any accusations?

I understand that she wants to punish me and …be the boss of me, but attempting to have Mariah’s kids taken away from us – just so that I won’t get further visitations with my boys, is absolutely insane!

Now…the allegations are false and the interviews today went very well…but I guess I am just at a loss for what to do. Do I find a way to fight back? Do I leave it alone? Do I say “OK…what do you want of me? Do you want me to walk away? Do you want me to be in our boys’ lives?....WHAT?” I kind of feel that she is just attacking with whatever she can …and since I’ve been granted the overnights…she has taken out the ‘big guns.’

I don’t know … but what I do know is that this drama needs to stop. Bottom line is that I think it would be great if we could invite her over to sit down with a glass of ‘JUICE’ and smooth things out …see what she wants and find some middle ground so that none of the kids are in the middle of this ridiculous battle.



Liz said...

I am so sorry you went through that. Total, absolute suckage.

Do you have a lawyer? Get one. Someone with a good track record for dads in family court.

T said...

Wow. She's a persistent one, that ex of yours.

I am SO sorry that this is happening. It would be great if you could invite her over to smooth things out... but I'm a peacemaker so that's what I'd do. Maybe if you had a 3rd party mediator to listen to both of you? She might get pissed at you for offering her a sit down. Then again, it might just disarm her enough. Good luck to the both of you.

Coachdad said...

Been through this same thing. Don't do anything but answer every question they ask you. I went through my interview and they left it at that. They know this often happens with exes. I really believe it will be cool. Been there, done that!

Anonymous said...

dude that f-d up.

I got nothing for you.
I'm sure the cps folks have seen all this before though.

good luck.

Give the ex y'alls bird!

A Perfectly Unperfect Girl said...

Check the laws in your state. False allegations of child abuse/neglect is illegal.

When the allegations are found to be untrue, you have every right to know who called in. And every right to decide to sue said person for false allegations.

What people do not realize, is that calls to CPS are done on an 800 line, so even if they call in and chose not to leave their name, the name and number they are calling from is recorded.

Stand up for what is right. If she thinks she can keep cutting you down, she will. She is nothing but a bully!!!

Good luck!!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I'm so sorry! I can't offer much advice not having been there myself. I'd definitely let the social worker handle it (I am sure they are used to this sort of dispute going on). I would just be sure to keep on top of the investigation itself to make sure you can protect yourself if needed.

It's very sad when adults make kids the target of the dispute. I hope you get everything worked out.

Mum-me said...

That's just weird, and wrong, and wrong and wrong. Your ex sounds like she won't come over for a glass of juice, unless she can throw it in your face.

Hope you can get it sorted!

Another Suburban Mom said...

I hate women who do shit like that. It gives the rest of us a bad name.

It would be wise to have a sit down with a mediator, and also look into filing that false allegation.

Those CPS Social Workers are busy enough with real abuse and neglect cases and I am sure they get pissed when they have to deal with that shit.

On a happier note, I gave you guys an award. Come to my blog and see.

Susan said...

My husband and I are both remarried and have 4 kids between the two of us. His ex is a complete narcissistic nightmare and attempts to control everything, unfortunately even when it comes to their two boys. We have them half the time and have fought tooth and nail to get more outlined specific guidelines through our own attorney because of all the problems like this one. The best thing you can do - my sister guides us everyday as a family law attorney - document EVERYTHING. Never fall into the drama - it feeds their souls. Still to the point at hand when communicating and by all means, call their bluffs. I promise, time and your patience and always keeping the kids in mind will be your serenity and bring easier times. Not for her. She's just a miserable person. Seriously. Feel sorry for her, but do not engage unless you absolutely must. Let her rant and rave. Ignore her. (Uh, can ya tell I'm a little passionate about this stuff... and dislike my husband's ex??? smile...)

April said...

What a horrible thing to do. I agree, document everything and don't play into her games. I wish more people would consider their childrens feelings before acting so damn crazy.

dadshouse said...

That's really sad. I'm happy and grateful that my ex-wife and I get along amicably. Calling social services is a nasty way to try to hurt you. I hope she can learn to put the best interests of the kids first.

LiteralDan said...

There's got to be some process for formally complaining about a false report. I'm sure they have some sort of punishment for it, to discourage people from wasting their time.

This lady wasted resources that should have been used for kids who are genuinely being neglected, and for that she should feel horribly ashamed of herself.

Good luck enduring shit like this, and may this miraculously be the last time!

Trooper Thorn said...

The whole process sucks and never ends. I have been asked to bring groceries over to my ex's, followed up by threats to phone the cops if I don't get off the property.

Stay out of the drama, but don't expect the ex to play by the rules.

The irony here is that the Crazy 'Angelina' Octo-Mom still has all her kids.

Rhea said...

It's clear to me, from your posts and tweets, that you and Mariah care about the kids more than anything.

Your ex is poison.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I agree with the others...don't let her suck you into the drama.

BUT this can't be ignored.

Because when you get reported there is always a record on you...and sometimes Social Services mess up and punish the wrong people

Happened to my tread carefully...

And if they prove the accusations false and ask if you want to press that point, you should teach her a's not getting involved in the's protecting someone else's just don't MESS with that...

It's just not right.

Especially when those kids are happy and taken care of...

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