Midsummer Midterm Exam

In his bestselling book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell makes the point that kids in some other countries do better academically because they attend school for more days each year than kids in the US. Gladwell shares the results of some studies that suggest knowledge is lost during summer vacation (ya think?)

An interesting wrinkle, though - the knowledge is only lost to children who don't read and study during the summer months. His point being that children from well-off families tend to read and do intellectual activities during the summer, putting them ahead of their lesser-off peers.

With the economic downturn, I'm guessing we're all feeling lesser off these days. So in a spirit of helping everyone stay smart, I'm giving all the Hot Dads and Hot Moms a midsummer midterm quiz. Pencils up. Ready?

First the elementary school questions:

1. Who is the US President?

2. How tall is Lance Armstrong? (take a guess)

3. Could Tom Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen, have any more tattoos? (image link)

Now the middle school questions:

4. Does anyone have a better hamburger seasoning recipe than me? (haha)

5. What do the Hot Dads think of Friends with Benefits?

6. Does anyone care about the Jon and Kate divorce, let alone about Jon and Kate Gosselin dating news?

And now for the Isaac Asimov genius questions:

7. Is raising girls easy?

8. How does Michael Caine like his women? (video link)

9. How many licks does it take for a Hot Mom to get to the center of a tootsie pop? (video link)

I was going to give a tenth question, but summer is calling, and it's time for everyone to put those pencils down.

Go forth and be stupid. It's summer vacation!!

Easy answers: 1) Barack Obama, 2) 5'10", 3) no

Middle school answers: 4) no (hey, it's my post!), 5) various responses (you have to read that post), 6) yes (or they wouldn't be on People magazine)

Genius answers: 7) for some, 8) like his sangria (watch the video!), 9) 3 (watch the video!)

English Sucks!!!

This subject makes me absolutely insane at times. Maybe it is my ‘fragile’ mental state …or maybe it is just my longing for simplicity…but what the fuck is up with the English language?

I could go on and on about words that make no sense to me and will most likely have a series of posts on the subject. The first in the series has to do with words such as;
Immature (not mature)
Impossible (not possible)
Inaccurate (not accurate)
Insecure (not secure)
Infertile (not fertile)
Unacceptable (not acceptable)
Unfair (not fair)
Nonsensical (not make sense)
Nonbeliever (not a believer)
Etc.

Can’t they just pick one prefix? I don’t get why there needs to be 4 prefixes that mean exactly the same thing.

How do you rationally explain to a child why these words are different?

Maybe I should just start using the one that makes most sense to me…”UN” and say shit like, “Don’t be so unmature. The reason that you are giving me for why you feel unsecure is unaccurate.”

GGGGRRRRRR………….
10 AM and now I feel like I need a drink.
Someone fix this stupid language!!!!!!!!

Kids, Immagination and Yoda

Am I the only one who thinks that imaginary friends are an odd fucking thing?

I have come to find out that I live in a house with 3 girls and 1 (really sexy) woman who all have or had imaginary friends.

We talked about it at dinner tonight and I could not be convinced that having imaginary friends was a normal, everyday thing. I was bombarded with fun little chatter about everyone’s ‘friends’…including the chickens that lived in one’s eyes…who even had a slide, the little boy Charlie who had to go everywhere with them and even had to have plates of food prepared and set out for him, the hand/finger elephant that would play for hours on end, and yes, the group of stuffed animals and dolls that were actually alive and talked…but only one person could hear them….

I proceeded to say that I never had an imaginary friend, played with dolls, talked to my hand or any stuffed creatures that resided in my room. Along with all of that…I do not recall any of my 5 brothers and sisters having any of the above either. The closest I think I came was pretending that I was Yoda and trying to move shit 'with the force.'

Their response…almost simultaneously was…”you are no fun…lighten up!”

Maybe my thoughts have something to do with my mother being a child psychotherapist…me majoring in psychology or the numerous movies and TV shows that I’ve seen where the kids with those imaginary friends pick up an axe or flame thrower…or some shit like that and kill everyone who can’t hear their friend.

Any of you have thoughts on this subject?

My Brady Bunch Family and My Insanity

Even after not having seen most of them for a number of years, the reunion made me feel a bit uneasy. I felt a bit distant and unconnected to them. The smiles and pleasantries floated back and forth like leaves in a mini wind storm. I, unintentionally, felt fake. I should be happier and more involved. I just wanted to do my own thing and not participate in the group activities.

In a sad sort of way I feel more a part of my other family. I’d nod and chime in with blank and unenthused looks during conversations with my mother. Am I an ass hole? Can I only ‘connect’ with one family at a time?

Although I grew up with 5 of the 11 people there, I felt as though I really had nothing to talk about…with the exception of a few childhood stories that we all laughed about.

The fun part for me was when Mariah and I sat around the campfire with my sister, her fiancée and my brother…drinking beer and wine, taunting the never ending stream of bears that wandered the campground, reflecting on our childhoods and, well…there was also a thing with the lake, a canoe, drinks and attempted fishing.

I don’t really know what it is…besides being ‘related’ I just did not feel that I have anything in common with the rest of my family. They are all loving and caring people…and I love them as they are my family, but …something was missing.

Maybe it has something to do with Mariah and her family. They are all very close and visit and talk to one another all the time…unlike my family. Maybe I am seeing Mariah’s family as normal and mine as …abnormal. Shit …that makes me sound like such an ass.

All in all…the bottom line (and why I wrote this) is …I want to connect. I want to feel ‘part of.’ I want to see my family as normal…It just did not click…and I don’t like it.

Funny, Slides, Caption Contest

Some cool stories first.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think.




'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8




'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different..
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4




'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5




'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6




'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4




'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7




'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8




'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)




'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)




'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7




'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6




'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8




'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6




'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5




'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7




'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4




'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4




'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7



this one
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6




'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

1. Porn for women!


2. LOL


3. Ummm I dunno?!



Men are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too "icky". You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000 - Tux rental $100. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes--one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No WONDER men are happier!

4. Hehe get em out!




Caption Contest, lol, see whatcha got!



Surely Tent camper is gonna win this one with something good! Hope y'all have a big weekend!

Fake Fuckers, Exes and the Internet

I will start by throwing out a quick question….
Why the fuck has Blogging and Twitter become so cliquey?

I think it is stupid that people’s circles tend to grow by the number of noses that they can fit up their asses and how many bung holes they themselves can snuggle with.

I started blogging and using Twitter as they were good tools for throwing out your honest thoughts and feelings. I no longer feel this way. I am seeing all of these little cliques of people pretending to be people that they are not…gravitating towards the folks that have a bit of a following already. It is like being in high school all over again.

The fact that people can’t be comfortable just being themselves is beyond me. As you may have noticed, I have not posted anything in a while, have not been commenting and Twittering has been less frequent. I am about at a loss of words.

My ex Twitters and blogs and has seemingly gathered a little, mentally challenged, group of folks that she has convinced that I am some kind of devil and now these people follow my blogs and tweets as well as everything that Mariah writes.

Yes, I know…this post is morphing…but not that much off point.

Anyway, this woman, my ex, is soooooo not the person that she leads you to believe. (I will distribute email addresses for a handful of folks that know her quite well that can tell you ….if you are interested) She has sole legal and physical custody of my boys , yet has been evicted from 4 houses in 5 years for not paying rent. She has been booted from several banks for being fraudulent, has had my boys switch schools cuz she does not pay the tuition, etc, etc.

I’d be fine with her doing whatever she wants but now I am having my boys complain to me about having to live with their friends …and having to move…AGAIN.

She and her lawyers (who she is on number 4 now…yes…unpaid bills) have done a pretty good job convincing the judge that I am not a capable father(…yet am side by side with Mariah, raising her 4 children) and a drug addict (yet I’ve passed every urine and hair follicle test thrown at me.

I don’t know…this whole thing is making me sick and I wish people could just be real, say what is on their mind and not worry so much about what the fuck other people think about them.

People who are friends with my ex….unfollow me and and Mariah and mind your fucking business! You don’t know us and have never met us...(with the exception of one back-stabbing fucker...who knows who he is.)

Those of you who just need to belong to a popular clique…I hope you grow up…for your families’ sake.

Guess that is enough for now…

I will undoubtedly lose some followers from this one!!!! I could care less.

AND IT TOOK LESS THAN AN HOPUR TO GET THESE TWO EMAILS FROM HER...
You lying son of a bitch. I've switched schools bc of tuition!? Our sons were in PUBLIC school and I switched them to private. I've been evicted 5 times? You're a lying sob and I'm filing for a restraining order as (My lawyer) already said I should. Especially since I've been told you said you'd commit homicide if you were here. I think that's the 3rd time you've said that? (And yes, people got screen shots before you deleted that tweet)

You don't know the truth but are lying about me. Yet you have no job, fraudulently claim the kids on your taxes, neglect the kids. You are in for the biggest shitstorm of your life. You owe me tens of thousands in child support, our children witness prostitutes with you, you don't properly care for our kids, I could go on. I have kept quiet for the sake of (The Boys), but since you don't care about them, I guess it is time to stoop to your level. I didn't before but I'm done.

And then you attack Jim? He knows who you are. He's a real man. He is an amazing dad. You are a pathetic, lazy, drug addict, liar who would rather focus on me because that's easier than looking at your own flaws.

Real smart to do this right before we're headed to court and I've gotten an earful from some of your "friends" already in Chicago.

Off to mingle with more of your 'friends'

…

And then…

Oh - and about the address. Mail any supposed check to (My Lawyer’s) office. We're telling the court about your recent actions including helping someone who has been stalking us and threatening homicide yourself, so in addition to a restraining order we are seeking to limit your visitation and prevent you from knowing where I live.

Please do not email me anymore. All communication needs to go through my lawyer (and no, he's not my 4th lawyer), since you are harassing me.

A Porn Story

Watching two people have sex in front of a camera isn’t nearly as exciting as you’d think. I know this because I was in a porn movie. I was just out of college and when the opportunity to earn a little extra cash came up, I jumped at the chance. I kept my clothes on. I was an extra.

One Saturday morning a long time ago, my buddy called me and asked if I wanted to be an extra at a porn shoot. Much like when somebody asks you if you’re a god, when somebody asks if you want to be on the set of a porn movie, you say “yes.” They were paying $50 cash, which for a broke recent-college graduate without a full time job was a decent payday. My friend and I were soon on our way to some gaudy mansion in Glendale to begin our careers in the porn industry.

The movie being shot that day was the sweeping epic tale of legendary lover Rudolph Valentino. Yes, it was a period piece. Not that the crew seemed overly concerned with the accuracy of the time period. I’m pretty sure the casual observer can see more than a few wrist watches in some shots. It was immediately clear that this was not the production of one of established porn producers. Running the show was a trio of aging Italian men. The star of the film was their studly young nephew, who was reminiscent of a thinner, better looking Fabio and could barely speak English. He wandered around the set in a daze asking his uncles in broken English, “Fuck? Fuck yet?”

My buddy and I filmed our scene in the morning and spent the rest of the day hanging out, eating junk food. Telltale signs like empty bottles of KY let us know that they had been filming at this house for a few days. We were told that they were shooting the day’s only sex scene in the afternoon and we were welcome to stick around, which we were planning on doing anyway.

A few hours later, we gathered in the back of an upstairs bedroom to watch the action. There were about fifteen guys in the room, mostly the crew and a few assorted perverts like my friend and me. Finally, they called action. And it was startling.

I no longer think that most porn stars can’t act. The weird thing about watching a porn scene live is the undeniable fact that it’s artificial. The Italian Stud certainly had the equipment for the job, but lacked the stamina so they had to keep stopping the scene before it was over too soon. The woman was screaming in ecstasy, only to stop on a dime when they called “cut”, leaving an empty silence in the room that remained until they started filming again and she picked right back up where she had left off. It was quite a performance, but standing in that room there wasn’t anything titillating about it. The whole thing was oddly uncomfortable. After staring slack jawed for about half an hour, my buddy and I decided we had seen enough. We collected our cash and met our friends in a bar to tell the tale.

A few months after the shoot, I tried to find the movie but came up empty. Years later, I was relaying the story to a friend and not more than an hour later, he sends me an email with the link to buy the DVD.

It’s a really bad porn. It actually fails on every level from the awful story to the mundane sex scenes. But in one scene, when Rudy is standing on line waiting to hear about a job, you can see three quarters of my face, giving the performance of a lifetime. The movie has surely not gone down as a classic, but it was my movie debut and we all gotta start somewhere.

-DGB

Ask Hot Dads

It's the dog days of summer and us Hot Dad's know the best way to combat it is to fire up the grill, pour a frosty beer and dazzle you with our big brains.

We need more questions, so please keep 'em coming! Email either tentcamper AT gmail DOT com or daddygeekboy AT gmail DOT com, and we will amaze and delight you with all that we know.

One Zen Mom asks...I'd like to know the Hot Dad's opinions on Friends-with-Benefits. Most of the women I know have a pretty strong opinion one way or the other. How about you guys? Good idea? Bad idea? Best invention ever? Asking for trouble?

Tent Camper says... I think that FWB is pretty much asking for trouble…unless it is 100% clear on both sides that that is all that it is. If so, both people SHOULD see other people at the same time. I think that the problem in most cases is that one of the ‘friends’ forms a sort of love or dependency and then things go to shit…and someone gets hurt.

Southern Sage says...It seems to me that FWB's start off good for both but inevitably one or the other starts to have feelings outside of just the F'ing. Then inevitably there are problems. I never ever had one that didn't end up wanting more (before I was married of course)

Hubman says...FWB for me or for my wife? Or for us to share? Actually, as swingers [still feels weird to use that term to describe myself], it's pretty easy to think of our other partners as FWBs and rather enjoy having them in our life!

For a single person, why not? As long as both partners have the same expectations about the nature of the relationship, it can work. Trouble can appear when one partner is starting to expect more from the friend than the occasional fuck-buddy. [Look at me, talking as if I have a freakin' clue....]

Always Home and Uncool says...Sounds great in theory but not sure how well it works in practice. Do the benefits include dental?

Daddy Geek Boy says...If movies have taught me anything, and they have, it's that in any friends with benefit situation, one of the friends will undoubtedly have feelings for the other and keep it hidden. Hijinks will ensue, a petty fight will happen, the friends will "break up" only to realize that they are truly made for each other. The chances of this are even higher if one of the friends is Ryan Reynolds and/or Kate Hudson.

Dad's House says...FWB does not work! If you are friends, you are friends. If you start sleeping with your friend, it gets weird and becomes something else. That said, I do think it's possible to have a lover who you are not dating. The difference? You don't do things as friends. You simply get together for the occasional romp.



Amber asks...If the answer to the question is 42, then what is the question?

Tent Camper says...Obviously….13, 9, 11, 7, 2 Or…how old will I be in December?

Southern Sage says...RED of course. Duh.

Hubman says...Is this the same reader who asked about the meaning of life a few weeks ago? I have no idea what you're looking for Amber...

Always Home and Uncool says...What uniform number did Major League Baseball universally retire?

Daddy Geek Boy says...I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure it's: 21 x 2

Dad's House says...Which President was Bill Clinton?

Jessica asks...What and where is the sexiest or most creative tattoo you have ever seen? If you have one what is it?

Tent Camper says...I don’t really find tattoos sexy. If a woman is hot enough and can look sexy with a tattoo…god bless her, but it is the woman not the tattoo.

Southern Sage says... I know a chick that got "fuck you" on the bottom of her big toe, for the undertaker. I like the ones you can't see all of, like goes below the belt line or you see a flash of it when they move a certain way, like on the small of the back.

Hubman says...I'm not a fan of tattoos and generally don't find them all that sexy. A small, tasteful one or two on a woman is okay, but a bunch of body art is a turn-off for me.

Always Home and Uncool says....Tats may call my attention to you (or at least certain parts of you that I might wish to get better acquainted with) but I can't say they do much for me. One of my blogging colleagues, surfer-in-chief Jason, does have kind of a cool one that he got recently, and my son was sporting a nifty Pokemon tramp stamp the other day; however, as my wife's friend -- the Babe Mortician from Nebraska -- has told me, no tattoo ever looks good on an old, wrinkly dead person.

Daddy Geek Boy says...This one.

Dad's House says...Sexiest tattoo is on the small of a woman's back. That's hot! I think Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers called tats like that a target that said the woman wanted to get nailed. Of course, when she's a grandma, it might not look so hot.

Chop Drop asks...Has there been a time that you feel like you did not get the credit you deserve for something? Or has someone taken the spotlight of your moment to shine??

Tent Camper says...The story of my life! But for real…it happens all the time but the thing that helps me is to just know myself that the credit is mine…fuck what other people think. As the master of the universe…I can’t expect that everyone will be willing to have the spotlight on me at all times. I share the wealth.

Southern Sage says...Not that I am aware of. I never would care as long as I know. I would let them have the spotlight.

Hubman says...Not that I can think of, at least nothing major. Sorry, I don't have much to say about this one.

Always Home and Uncool says...I get that feeling pretty much every time I look at my blog numbers. And at my bank account. And down my shorts.

Daddy Geek Boy says...Can't recall that I've actually had a moment to shine for somebody to steal. That sounds way more depressing than it's meant to be.

Dad's House says...Yes! Anyone who works in corporate America will feel that way at some point. That's why working for yourself is so much more gratifying.

Me Thinks asks...The boyfriend has a birthday coming up. I can never seem to get it right for him, either I take a risk and dive in too deep (flight lessons) or pull back and its too superficial ("stuff"). What are some of the best gifts you got from girlfriends/wife/significant other?

Tent Camper says...Honestly…I think it was when Mariah got me 2 tickets to an NFL game, arranged for child care and then went to the game with me and spent the night in a hotel. Other than that…I would just say that a woman who can put aside her personal dislikes and goes to do guy stuff with her man (i.e. fishing, sports, etc) is a woman to hold on to.

Southern Sage says...LOL I'm a grinch, they are only allowed to be me dungarees, or shirts, nothing else. A 3-some always seems like a good gift though!

Hubman says...I'm not a big fan of "stuff", we have too much crap around the house as it is! I think one of the best gifts that Veronica got me was last year for Father's Day. She knew I had been interested in learning how to ride a motorcycle, so she signed me up for a Motorcycle Safety Foundation sanctioned Basic Riders Course. That was pretty cool.

Always Home and Uncool says...I have a history of less-than-exciting birthdays, but My Love made up for that by surprising me on my 40th by having Marshall Crenshaw play a concert at our house. The barbecue was also excellent.

Daddy Geek Boy says...One of the best gifts I ever got was a trip to Sandusky, Ohio to ride roller coasters for two days with my best friend. Our wives were tired of us constantly talking about going there and decided to just make it happen for us. Yes, I was in my early 3o's when I went on this trip. Don't judge.

I think guys are pretty easy when it comes to gifts. Something that speaks to our interests is usually great. If you're worried about doing something too big that he might not like, why not float the idea past him? Who says a birthday gift has to be a surprise?

At the very least, give him some hot lovin' and he won't be looking for anything else.

Dad's House says...Mind blowing sex. (Haha) Seriously, I'd rather have a fabulous woman in my life every day than get an alligator skin wallet or a Ducati racing bike on my birthday. Of course, if she mixes up the Best Mai Tai Recipe and treats me like a king for a day, I won't mind one bit!

Sunday Slides, Funny, Caption Contest

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man.





My wonderful girlfriend

And I had been dating for over a year, and so we

Decided to get married. There was only one

Little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful

Younger sister.


My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

Tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She

Would regularly bend down when she was near

Me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to

Be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was

Near anyone else.


One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to

Come over to check the wedding invitations. She was

Alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she

Had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't

Overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

Before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if

You want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go

Up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned

And made a beeline straight to the front door. I

Opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Low... And behold, my entire future family was standing

Outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and

Said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our

Little test. We couldn't ask for a better

Man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:











Always keep your condoms in your car.


1. Porn for women.


2. Amen to that!


3. Al Gore was right!


4. Perfect name for a dead guy!




Caption Contest. Lets see what you got!



Hope y'all have a big Sunday.

A Better Man

Conflicted, twisted, can’t get it straight
Feelings of uselessness invade the mind
Is there a better man for them?
A candle flickering, the sun peaking through clouds
Fighting off the self disgust
Jealousy, insecurity...the stabbing pain
Is there a better man for them?
Doing my best…not nearly enough
Happy but hating
Loving and loved…but is it enough
Things can’t go on in the manner they are
Is there a better man for them?
The scale teeters, weight on both sides
What is for the best – love or money
Clutching to a thread, unable to choose
I had better be right, I’ve got everything to lose

Am I helping or hurting?

When's That Tour de France Thing, Anyway!

A buddy of mine wonders how I can stand to watch Pro Cycling and the Tour de France. He likens it to watching paint dry. (I have to admit, those cyclists wear colorful jerseys.)

To which I ask him how he can stand watching baseball on TV? Zzzzzzzzzzz....

(Before any Hot Moms hit snooze, here's some Lance Armstrong eye candy.)

In case you've been sleeping through it, please know the 2009 Tour de France is going on right now. And Lance Armstrong is doing extremely well in his comeback. The guy hasn't cycled in Le Tour in four years (after winning seven in a row). Midway through this year's three-week long race, he was in third place, just seconds off the lead.

For the uninitiated, road cycling is a sport of gods. It may seem like nothing more than pedaling bikes, but Tour cycling requires strength, endurance, team tactics, and individual smarts. No fat guys standing out in left field, waiting for something to happen. No one sitting on the bench, chewing tobacco and waiting to go in. These cyclists pedal their butts off each day. If there's a crash, they get back on the bike and keep going. Rules state they must finish each day within a certain time after the first guy crosses the line, or they get booted from the race. Most fight hard to just remain in the race, and would only leave the Tour if they broke a bone. Even then, they'd go kicking and screaming.

Imagine cycling 100+ miles, eating, sleeping, then doing it again the next day - and repeating this pattern for 21 stages over the course of 23 days. (The first stage is usually a shorter distance.) I cycle 50 miles and it's a long ride for me.

The Tour de France has no substitutions. Only two days rest in three weeks. These guys are studs.

My kids and I have watched the Tour of California in person a few times, and even gotten some autographs from George Hincapie, Levi Leipheimer, and others (making all the road trip planning even more worth it.)

And now we are watching Tour de France coverage together on TV. (Family time, Tivo style.)

We revel in the beauty of the French countryside and the architecture in its towns. We marvel at the peloton's changing shape, from fat blob to thin stretched line as riders whip up the pace. We oooh and ahhh when a cyclist wipes out and goes flying.

As for Lance Armstrong? From reading his book, "It's Not About the Bike", I sort of figured he was an egotistical bastard. (Compare his writing to his ex-wife Kristen Armstrong's blog at Runners World. She is grounded, self aware, compassionate, evolved.)

In previous Tours, I always rooted for someone, anyone else to win - Jan Ullrich, Andreas Kloeden, Carlos Sastre. Anyone but the man who acted like the world revolved around him.

But then I read somewhere that Lance, during grueling training rides and races in Australia and California, realized how much work the domestiques do for their team leader. Apparently he wondered if maybe this Tour de France was meant to teach him something else. Maybe it was his turn to ride in support of others and give selflessly to the team.

Yeah, right. Beautiful sentiment, but clearly from watching the first half of this year's Tour, he wants to win. He's been kicking ass so far. (Lance tweets about it, too.)

And for once, I've been cheering him along. Why my change in heart? Who knows - Lance Armstrong is older, wiser, nicer, but he still has that competitive fire.

Or maybe I'm older, wiser, nicer, and not so judgmental. (Then again, maybe it's simply the fact that for a brief few seconds, Lance and I appeared together on TV. Gotta love my fifteen frames of fame!)

Go Lance! Win the Tour.

Flickr photo by Ricardo Horsham, Some rights reserved (CC BY-ND 2.0)

Secret Box

Well this is always a cool post. This is the secret box. I run it in Sageville every now and then and the always delightful Shelle got it stolen from her fair and square and she runs it some too.

So here's what to do. Put your secret i the secret box. Naughty, nice, funny whatever. I don't have access to the stats so I have no idea who says what.

So comment, with your secret or a secret. You can own it or you can comment Anonymous. Either way suits us. The other places it has been done it was worth following comments or coming back to see what secrets were exposed. Put your secrets in, comment on other secrets!!



You can hit up the stunningly sexy Sandi for a free give-away!
Then hit the tantalizingly sexy Isabella for a free blog makeover!

Go get em, have a good week!

How to Lose 10 Years in 10 Minutes

After camping this weekend and three days of my not shaving, the 15 year old suggested I leave the Soul Patch when I shaved before work yesterday. I immediately dismissed the suggestion since I am neither a beatnik (an expression completely lost on him) or a 23 year old relief pitcher. He then suggested I grow a goatee (He really meant a Vandyke, but nobody understand the distinction anymore).

There was no problem getting on board with this idea, since I always wanted one. My Ex was never keen on it, or facial hair of any kind. Back in college, I sported a moustache. It was a great moustache; not one of those reedy, thin 20-something cookie dusters, but a thick, full rusty curtain that swept across my upper lip with authority. I was never ID’d again at bars or the liquor store.

One evening after graduation, I shaved it off for a change, met my now-ex-wife shortly after that and was never able to grow it back. If women know you only with facial hair or without, it is difficult to make the transition from one state to the other within the same relationship. But now I am not in that relationship, and am free to do whatever I want with my face. Even tattoo a snake across my forehead if I want.

I only shaved the neck and cheeks, and it was good. I liked the look, People noticed immediately and the reaction was positive. It made me feel a little dangerous; it suggested I was someone with wicked thoughts who was not to be harassed. But nothing lasts.

This morning the grey was pretty noticeable and it was becoming 'beardy'. Someone suggested how much I look like my Dad. He looks like Santa.

I shaved it off.

Why is it the things we do in our youth to look older, like facial hair (or dramatic eye shadow for girls), once we become older only make us look elderly?

Ask Hot Dads

All we can say about this week's batch of questions is that you won't be bored. Enjoy...and keep those awesome questions coming.


Choc Drop asks...Have you ever strayed and if you did, why??? Or was there a temptation to stray??

Irish Gumbo says...This is a little tricky for me, having just separated from my (ex)wife, and we had a relationship of over 20 years. During that time, at least for me, temptation was very abstract. I thought it certainly possible, just never thought it would happen to me (because I was never a "ladies man") even though I know it was different for my ex. Towards the end of my marriage, the thoughts became stronger because I was so miserable. And the real twist in all that, is that I never had a real opportunity, nor did I give in to it, until well after it was clear my wife wanted a divorce. So it's complicated. I never did until my marriage was over in all but name, but the reasons were classic: I was lonely, miserable and unwanted, then someone came along who made me feel loved, wanted and showed me that they were truly interested in me. No surprise then that I responded! By the way, this all happened earlier this year, and I had known since 2007 that my marriage was over. Out of curiosity, ladies, what is your take on that situation?

Hubman says...Yes I have, and I've written about it. Click here and here for the whole story.

Daddy Geek Boy says...Boring answer, but honest. I haven't and I've never been tempted.

Cameron says...Nope, I’ve never strayed. My motivation is simple….I would be paying out the ass for child support if my wife left me.

Anonymous asks...Okay guys.... what is your opinion on Adult Nursing Relationships?

Irish Gumbo says...Okay, I had to do some research to make sure I had the right idea. There are historical precedents for it, and if my info is correct, usually based more on the feeding/comfort aspect of things rather than the erotic/sexual side. It certainly offers opportunities for an intense intimacy between human beings! Just ask any infant. It is true that breastfeeding can offer comfort/pleasure to both adults and if they both want it and like it, well, that's what matters to them in their relationship. Honestly? I don't think its something I would do, but I don't find it a reason to condemn someone, either. I reckon any "sexual" actvity can look strange or ridiculous depending on the filters one views it through. If it is a consent-based relationship between two adults, then "follow your bliss".

Hubman says... Well since I had to Google it first, not much of an opinion to start. So some adults like to breastfeed off a lactating woman? Whatever floats your boat! Just like any other intimate, sexual and/or erotic activity, as long as it's consensual and doesn't involve minors, I don't care what gets you off. Have fun!

Daddy Geek Boy says...For some reason that I cannot fathom, I was totally freaked out by my lactacting wife. So while I'm fine with consenting adults doing what they want, but for me...bleeeecch!

Cameron says...When my wife was pregnant, sure I tried the ole booby milk a couple times. As for an ongoing thing, it’s not really my bag. I don’t find it offensive or perverse or anything, I just focus my fetishes elsewhere…and believe me, I can be a kinky bastard. To each their own. If you have a man and woman that get off on adult nursing, I say go for it.

Delanie asks...I often hear men say (or write in their dating profiles) that they want an independent career-oriented woman. I’m one of those women in some ways, but I’m also a mom, naturally nurturing AND I kinda like taking care of a man and being domestic on some level too. Do you think most men really value the warmth that women can bring to a home/relationship? Or have we socially arrived at a place where we need to be partners – equals – on the career front in order to be equal on the homefront?

Irish Gumbo says...Hopefully, a lot of those guys aren't saying that because they want a sugar momma! (grin) I value highly the warmth and nurturing that a woman can bring to a relationship. I see it as an expression of their 'feminine' nature which in no way implies or mandates inferiority or subservience. It does seem true that as general tendencies (very general, I'm am not suggesting stereotypes) women and men are better at different things in different ways. I do not make the mistake, though, of assuming that 'nurturing' is all that a woman can or should do. I think it comes down to how the man and woman treat one another, what kind of balance they want. Too much emphasis can be placed on having to be "just like a man/woman", and it seems kind of unhealthy to be anxious and stressing because either partner feels inferior or threatened by the other in terms of a career or domestic ability. For myself, I think both parties should seek the best balance for themselves and don't feel that they have to be just like the other person to feel cherished and happy in their relationship. Simply put, I like it when a woman cares enough about me to "nurture" me, but I don't expect or demand it. It should be given freely and accepted with gratitude.

Hubman says... I don't know about other men, but I wonder, why not both? My wife is independent and successful in her own career, yet she is also a nurturing and caring wife and mother. I love the combination and it works great for us.

What do you mean by equal on the homefront? Are you somehow implying that equality at home and nurturing/warmth/etc are mutually exclusive? We all have roles- I have my career, our kids, around the house I'm head gardener, dish washer, repairman, accountant, snow remover, and mechanic. Veronica has her career, our kids, as is head cook, diaper-changer, food shopper, laundry specialist, and taxi service. But these roles can shift/change (well, Veronica couldn't start the lawnmover to save her life...) and we share many of them.

Did this even come close to answering your question? LOL...

Daddy Geek Boy says...I can't imagine there's a lot of guys who wouldn't want a woman to come in and bring some warmth and nurturing to the home front. Is this mutually exclusive of being career oriented? I don't think so. It's all about compatibility people.

Southern Sage says...I think that roles should be defined in full up front. Not that you shouldn't help each other but someone is responsible for somethings and the partner responsible for others. There is no possible way I could raise my kids as good as the bride can. So we let her do most of that! If the roles are pre defined then everything seems much easier and in my observations works out better. The folks who just go willy nilly and do the 50/50 thing never seem to work.

It also seems to me that some groups chose to downplay the role of the mother. The movements here in the US seem to pressure women to be the soccer mom and the career mom. These things are driven by other women. Odd really. My thoughts are that the number 1 and absolutely most important job is parenting. I don't care what anyone says one parent available for the children 24/7 turns out better kids. Most people choose luxury of dual paychecks over better raised children. So I come down on the side of the kids first. There is no intelligent person that will say that having 2 cars and a pool and nice house is better than being there for your kids. We will never make that decision. We don't have toys but our kids know where our priorities are.

Cameron says...I think most men DO value warmth, and to a degree, we want to be taken care of. In this politically correct day and age, I think the role of hunter / gatherer, and nurturer still exists to a degree, albeit on a much smaller scale.

Jessica asks...We all have pet peeves. What is yours? Have you ever tried to change it?

Irish Gumbo says...This may be skating on the ice of cliche, but it really bugs me when someone is not honest or clear about what they want in a relationship. If you want something, say so. If you need something, say so. Don't keep it covered and then get frustrated and furious with me because I am not giving you what you want. I am many things, but psychic is not one of them. I have been gulity of that in the past, but now I have seen the light, and am making every effort to practice what I preach. On a more mundane level, I can't stand loud talkers right outside my office cubicle. Move along, knuckleheads, move along...

Hubman says...Clutter and general messiness around the house drives me nuts. Veronica and I used to frequently butt heads over this, but she's beaten me into submission and I've given up...

Daddy Geek Boy says...Inconsiderate people. You know, the folks who rush into elevators without letting people off. Or congregating in the middle of a crowded walkway. Or talking really loud in inappropriate places. Just ticks me off.

Southern Sage says...Followers. I can't stand followers. Weak people. Dependent people. Whiners. People who expect others to do for them. People who feel entitled. Excuse makers. I have never tried to change it I just don't associate with those folks.

Cameron says...My pet peeves mostly revolve around money, and the way my wife spends it. It’s not changeable

Sunday Slides, caption contest, Funny

1. Well this is the Creed of Hotdads!


2. Which one of you fella's is gonna wear this for ummm St. Patrick's day?


3. Should I leavemy email addy ladies? I do need to inspect them!
4. Lol.



Caption Contest


What Do You Do All Day?

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in
Their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the
entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by
the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the
bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys
strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

hehehehe

Pic two of the caption contest!!!!!


Oh Shit!!!!

Y'all give the caption a shot, have a great weekend!

What's So Special About Ginger?

In preparing snacks for soccer camp this morning, I was struck with a thought about one of the components:
"Why are Ginger Snaps the only cookies that are 'snaps'?"

There are no Oatmeal Snaps or Vanilla Snaps. For that matter, why are some cookies 'wafers' and others are not? Is there a government Cookie Board of Standards that ensures proper application of the wafer designation based on ingredients, weight, density or some other obscure combination of factors?

Why does ginger ale, a staple of child home remedies for nausea, sun stroke and general weepiness, get to be the only soda pop available that is an 'ale'? Why not Cola Ale or Black Cherry Ale. And why is Root Beer a 'beer' since there is no brewing or fermentation involved in it's production. If I was feeling old-timey at the supermarket and asked for a bottle of sarsaparilla would the manager call Security?

And who would win in a fight between Dr Pepper and Mr Pibb? I bet Mr. Pibb would fight dirty.

Ask Hot Dads

We're just going to come right out and say it, you guys rule. You are sending us some awesome questions. And even though you have yet to stump us, that doesn't mean you should stop trying. Keep those questions coming and we will keep the wisdom flowing.

Hey...if you dig this feature, spread the word. Tell your friends that the answers to the universe can be found right here at Hot Dads.

Jessica asks...What is your favorite/book?

Daddy Geek Boy says…Journey To Ixtlan by Carlos Castaneda.

Russ says...Watership Down.

Tent Camper says…This is really a tough one for me as I really don’t read. The last
book I read was A Long Way Gone…and I loved it! But I guess overall I’d have to say that the books that I have the fondest memories of would be The Jungle Book or Where the Wild Things Are….or any edition of Penthouse Forums.

DadsHouse says…I have to pick one? Top 3: What I Lived For, by Joyce Carol Oates. The Corrections, by Jonathan Franzen. Independence Day, by Richard Ford.

Irish Gumbo says… Oh, lawd, so many...but the short answer is - Fiction: The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad Nonfiction: Outlaw Cook by John Thorne. Both say a lot about human nature, but in very different ways.

Hubman says…As much as I like to read, I don't think I have a favorite individual book. As a genre, I like reading histories and biographies. I just recently finished David Halberstam's book about the Korean War, "The Coldest Winter" and am currently reading LTG(R) Ricardo Sanchez's autobiography "Wiser in Battle". I especially enjoy reading about "great" figures in history, such as Einstein (Walter Isaacson's biography is fantastic), Benjamin Franklin (also by Isaacson) and Harry Truman (David McColloughs Pulitzer Prize-winnng book about him is on my to-reread list). Anyone have any suggestions? I'm always on the lookout for a good book.

Southern Sage says…The Art of War, Sun Tsu/Good to Great, Jim Collins/ any of the writings by the signers of the declaration or constitution.

Always Home and Uncool says…Non-fiction would be "Ball Four" by Jim Bouton, a groundbreaking diary of a once-successful Major League pitcher struggling to reinvent himself with the ill-fated expansion Seattle Pilots after an arm injury. Fiction, hmm, I have a soft spot for the summer nostalgia of "Dandelion Wine" and the carnival terror of "Something Wicked This Way Comes" by Ray Bradbury.

Athena asks...Is your wife's pussy your favorite, or are there pussies from your past that you still pine for? And why -- is it the hairstyle, the tightness or lack therefore, the association with childbirth, the size and shape? I need insight into the male sexual mind, please.

Daddy Geek Boy says…The most memorable one was the first one I ever saw in person, which was also the first one I ever touched. But I don’t think it’s really about size, hairstyle or shape, it’s about the person using it. WonderWife™, by the way, rocks my world.

Russ says…Wife's, only one I've had.

Tent Camper says…I am fairly sure that most guys would agree that …when there, it is
all the best. But Mariah’s pussy s by far my favorite. Not only how it feels, but what that amazing woman can do with it. I have actually forgotten that others even exist.

Dadshouse says…I'm divorced, but thinking back to girlfriends past, there is definitely one that I loved loved loved, and will never get out of my system. (sigh...) It's the smell, taste, response, and sexual chemistry.

Irish Gumbo says…Being recently divorced, I'll answer it this way: I pine for it/them in general. My favorite? The one that's right in front of me.

Hubman says…You realize my wife reads this, right? As swingers, she and I vow NEVER to compare other lovers- that is one of the basic, unbreakable rules that we have. Sure, some have been tighter, some looser, some deeper, some not-so-deep... But let's be real, if after almost 16 years of marriage I'm getting new pussy, with my wifes okay, do you really think I'm gonna complain?

Are there pussies I've had before and would like to have again? Oh hell yeah!!

Southern Sage says…I have never felt a discernible difference. Yhe best ones for me were the willing ones. If it/she is wiling, game and enthusiastic then game on. I have never known a bad one!

Always Home and Uncool says…Being a guy is less about yearning for past conquests and more about pining for the even more divine possibility we imagine still might be out there.

Amber asks.... Tell us one movie that you could lay claim to as a basis for a lot of your life lessons.

Daddy Geek Boy says…“Go that way really fast. When something gets in your way, turn.” - Better Off Dead

Tent Camper says…I can’t name one…but the top three would be; Lord of the Flies, Goodfellas and Shawshank Redemption…and a close next would be Boys in the Hood.

Dadshouse says…Tough question! I'll say Shakespeare in Love because the Bard is sort of a romantic bad-ass who tries to do whatever he wants, but still has to follow some societal rules.

Irish Gumbo says… Apocalypse Now...?

Hubman says…I think this quote sums it up pretty good: " Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hangin curveball, high fiber, good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there ought to be a Constitutional ammendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than on Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three nights."

If you don't know what movie that's from, shame on you!

Southern Sage says…Hmmmmmm I don't know but if its a movie I like the good guy is a tough guy and always gets the girl.

Always Home and Uncool says…It would have to be a double feature of "Almost Famous" (don't do drugs, don't let those swill merchants rewrite you, you're too sweet for rock and roll, etc.) and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (run away, let's not bicker and argue over who killed who, and after the spanking -- the oral sex, etc).

Not A Soccer Mom asks...What is your favorite day of the year?

Daddy Geek Boy says…This is going to surprise you, since I’m admittedly not a sports guy, but Super Bowl Sunday. It coincides with my birthday and for the past 15 years, I’ve been throwing a monster party where WonderWife™ and I cook up 7 new appetizers every year. We spend all morning cooking and all afternoon and night eating, drinking and celebrating with friends.

Russ says…The start of NCAA March Madness.

Tent Camper says…Besides everyday with Mariah….Thanksgiving…cuz it is all about family and love.

Dadshouse says…Any day my kids are at my house.

Irish Gumbo says…Just one?...Hmmm...if not by daughter's birthday, then the day after Thanksgiving.

Hubman says…After a long, cold New England winter, that first warm spring day when the ladies break out the summer clothes and show us some skin! Especially during those times in my life when I was on a college campus. Oh, I miss those days...

Southern Sage says…As far as a holiday it's Independence day, other than that its the first day of hunting season.

Always Home and Uncool says…June 28

Anjeny asks...Let's say you have a 15 year old daughter who took her friendship with an 18 year old boy to a more serious level and then you decided to end that friendship or relationship because quite frankly she's way too young to get tied down with just one boy. And then one night you found out she sneaked out of the house through her bedroom window to meet the boy at four o'clock in the morning....what would you do in this situation? How would you deal with that?

Daddy Geek Boys says…After I watched the movie Thirteen, I said if I ever had a girl, I was going to chain her in the basement until she was 18. Sprout is lucky, I guess, cause I don’t have a basement. I think it’s interesting that you say “she’s way too young to get tied down with just one boy.” Are you really suggesting that at 15 your daughter go out and play the field? If that’s the case, there must be something you don’t like about this boy. However, you’ve just made him forbidden fruit so the more you try to forcibly prevent your daughter from seeing him, the more she will try to sneak out. I think a deep heart to heart with your daughter where you lay out your feelings on this matter may be better than ultimatums.

Russ says...With lots of tears, followed by iron bars on her window.

Tent Camper says… Well, we’ve been close to that situation in the recent past…and I have personally been there, so my advice would be to sit with her and explain the reasons for why you don’t want her involved with him, the fact that it is illegal and what the consequences will be if she does it again. Then nail her window shut and take away cell or internet as a punishment.

Dadshouse says…Wow, another tough question. Yelling at her and being more strict might push her away from the family and towards the boy even further. Having a frank heart-to-heart to get her to envision life as a wife/mom with this boy might be a good tactic. I think it's important for her to be armed with enough information and a detailed enough mental picture of her future to make a good choice. In this case, the good choice is probably to not be with the boy long term. If there is any road trip planning going on, watch out. You don't want her to elope and force the issue.

Irish Gumbo says…Try tying her down again! (badabing! rimshot!) Seriously, you say she is way too young to get tied down with just one boy, does that mean you want her to be involved with more than one boy at a time (probably not) or don't want her involved with boys at all (likely) or you don't want her involved with this particular boy (very likely)? If its boys at all, you'll probably be in distress no matter who she sees. Is this particular boy a real creep or very undesirable in some or many ways? If he is, perhaps a talk with his parents is in order? Actually, maybe sitting down with the daughter in a neutral environment and having a calm discussion about what she sees in him, why she likes him, would help. Find out what’s in her head before getting too heavy with the punishment. Worth a shot, if it doesn't succeed, try a leash (I'm kidding).

Hubman says…By the time my daughter reaches the age of 15, she'll already be living in a convent, so this won't be an issue in our home.

Seriously, regardless of why, any time a kid feels like he or she needs to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, there are communication and trust problems between parent and child. I don't like the notion of a parent deciding to end a childs friendship or relationship- that's just asking for rebellion. Teen 'love' is a transient and fragile thing, so all I'd have to do is sit back, watch it flame out, and make sure my baby doesn't get hurt too bad in the process.

Southern Sage says…Well first ANYTIME my rules are broken the punishment is swift harsh and painful. Not knowing her and your situation its tough to specify. I would take whatever is most precious to her. I mean like ,dance, softball, computer, tv, cell phone etc. Probably a combination. She would then take on double chores. She would also pay some retribution. Volunteering somewhere, picking up trash at the park whatever.

I am a hard ass though. That's the punishment my 6 and 10 year old gets, except my 10 yr old almost never needs punishing anymore, since she had that style punishment since she was 5.

One last thing, and I do agree with you about being tied down. I started courting my bride when she was 15 I was 16/17, exclusively. Our mothers were agin it. we have currently been together 20 years. I realize that doesn't happen much but sometimes it works.

Always Home and Uncool says…After putting my daughter in a convent, I'd bring a friendly police officer over to the boy's house to nicely explain certain legal statutes concerning the age of consent while showing him how well oiled he keeps his firearm.

Choc Drop asks...So most of you grill or cook at least one thing, what is that and why do you like to make it?

Daddy Geek Boy says…On the grill, nothing beats a thick steak, minimally seasoned with salt, pepper and a dash or two of Worcestershire sauce. On the stovetop, I make a mean red sauce.

Russ says…Just one thing? I would go with grilled pork loin (butterflied and rubbed down with a garlic/rosemary/salt/pepper/olive oil paste)

Tent Camper says…Any red meat. I like to because everyone likes it and …it is MANLY!!! I also like making pasta dishes because the kids say that my pastas
are the best ever.

Dadshouse says..I cook practically every night, and I have a ton of favorite dishes. It all depends on the mood. One thing I really enjoy making is lentil pasta it takes time to cook, there's chopping involved to keep me busy, and it comes out different every time since I'm usually short at least one ingredient. That makes it an adventure.

Irish Gumbo says…One of my favorite things to grill is thick pieces of salmon, brushed with olive oil, sprinkled with salt, pepper and maybe some garlic, and cooked on a really hot cast iron griddle. Damn, that's good! I like it because I like salmon, I like cast iron, and I can do it with confidence. When not grilling, my favorite thing to make, although I don't get to make it very often, is (you guessed it) GUMBO! Chicken and sausage and shrimp, mmm, mmm, so good, you'll hurt ya self! It takes time to make (which is in short supply, alas), BUT I like making the roux (a long, slow stir), I like the smell of celery/onion/pepper when it hits the roux, I like the deep color, I like the flexibility of it --- you can a gumbo out of many, many things --- I like that it isn't fussy, I like the spiciness (or not), I like watching it simmer, I like smelling it simmer, I like sitting down with a beer and big bowl of gumbo...as the saying goes "Gumbo, it's good, that's all there is to it!" Time to make batch, ladies...

Hubman says…What sort of question is this? I always thought that it's in a man's DNA to enjoy grilling meat. Just look at the banner for this blog- it's meat on a grill! Burgers, steaks, pork chops, chicken, you name it, I like to grill it.

Southern Sage says…I don't and can't cook. I mean I can't cook toast. I was just recently housebroken so its one step atta time! I will eat anything though. The only 2 things I know of that I don't eat are cranberry sauce and brussels sprouts.

Always Home and Uncool says…I do most of the day-to-day cooking in the house, as My Love prefers to save her efforts to show off for parties and special occasions, and I love marinades and sauces and how can bring new life to boring meats and fish. Now that it's summer, though, I've been into coaxing our ice cream maker into creating chocolate chocolate chip ice cream because it's just so evil yet so good.