Tuesday, July 14, 2009

How to Lose 10 Years in 10 Minutes

After camping this weekend and three days of my not shaving, the 15 year old suggested I leave the Soul Patch when I shaved before work yesterday. I immediately dismissed the suggestion since I am neither a beatnik (an expression completely lost on him) or a 23 year old relief pitcher. He then suggested I grow a goatee (He really meant a Vandyke, but nobody understand the distinction anymore).

There was no problem getting on board with this idea, since I always wanted one. My Ex was never keen on it, or facial hair of any kind. Back in college, I sported a moustache. It was a great moustache; not one of those reedy, thin 20-something cookie dusters, but a thick, full rusty curtain that swept across my upper lip with authority. I was never ID’d again at bars or the liquor store.

One evening after graduation, I shaved it off for a change, met my now-ex-wife shortly after that and was never able to grow it back. If women know you only with facial hair or without, it is difficult to make the transition from one state to the other within the same relationship. But now I am not in that relationship, and am free to do whatever I want with my face. Even tattoo a snake across my forehead if I want.

I only shaved the neck and cheeks, and it was good. I liked the look, People noticed immediately and the reaction was positive. It made me feel a little dangerous; it suggested I was someone with wicked thoughts who was not to be harassed. But nothing lasts.

This morning the grey was pretty noticeable and it was becoming 'beardy'. Someone suggested how much I look like my Dad. He looks like Santa.

I shaved it off.

Why is it the things we do in our youth to look older, like facial hair (or dramatic eye shadow for girls), once we become older only make us look elderly?


Momma Sunshine said...

You guys are lucky that you're able to change your appearance by either growing or shaving your facial hair - if only it were so easy for us ladies to change our look back and forth like that.

For what it's worth, though, a little grey in the goatee certainly wouldn't turn me off. After all, we're not 20 any more, are we? ;)

Brandy said...

Because to a certain age (21 & under most times...) we are in such a hurry to grow up. To be on our own.

And then reality sets in. Being grown up means a lot more than buying cigs & liquor. Only it's too late when the crows feet, gray hairs & wrinkles start showing - then you are trying desperately to stay young.

Barefoot Dreamer said...

oh dear sweet man you are such a crack up! your mustache sounds quite Magnum PI. Even he doesn't look good in it anymore ;)

Eventually when your hair greys and you for for a closely cropped goatee again it will be the picture of sexiness.

Ashley said...

I'm totally jealous of you men. You can not only change your complete look with something as simple as facial hair....but you also age better. The older a woman gets, oftentimes, the less attractive we get. For women grey=bad. For men a little grey = sexy/attractive.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

HA! So funny and so true! That sucks.... Ill never b gray and if I am my beautician will be instantly fired!

Homer and Queen said...

I love me a man with some grey in his beard/goatee! VERY sexy...

dadshouse said...

I grew a soul patch right after my divorce. It was perfect at the time. Now I'm too old for one. Still... my kids tell me to grow it back. I guess they like a little devil in me.

ChocDrop said...

I love facial hair, very sexy. Throw a little bit of gray in there and I am smitten.

I am a sucker for the goatee.....SEXY. Enjoy your hair, just maybe keep it really trimmed.

Rainy said...

Aww why did you shave it????

I acutally like facial hair, A LOT. They are so manly, don't ya think? And with a hint of gray, oh forget it... :) Rainy would be putting her face all over yours...

Scandalous Housewife said...

Face it: Too much hair on an older man makes you like a troll. Or a Sasquatch.

Just sayings...

Anonymous said...

Neatly trimmed facial hair is the total HAWT. Even with gray. Like the commercial says (to paraphrase), "Old enough to look like I know what I'm doing, and young enough to still be able to do it."

Trooper Thorn said...

Momma Sunshine: Don't discount how much it would change your appearnace to grow a little facial hair.
Good to know you will let a man act his age.

Brandy: Which is why being asked for ID at the liquor store is such a compliment.

Barefoot Dreamer: Oh great. Another hair patch I need to maintain in addition to my eyebrows.

Ashley: You too could change your appearance with some facial hair.

Shelle-Blok: A shaved head also has no grey.

H & Q: How do you feel about eyebrows?

dadshouse: You will be all set for a little jazz flute.

ChocDrop: Thank you for your support.

Rainy: Gulp.

Trooper Thorn said...

Scandalous HW: I think you are confusing it with backhair.

Ms BT to You: "And stupid enough to give it a try"

Homer and Queen said...

Eyebrows fine, at least you have them, no ear hair, ew... and back> WAX!

Just Jules said...

Well dang just shave - shave it all ... all of it, everywhere - off! No more issues. You can be like Mr. Clean!

Anonymous said...

You know I don't really care shaved or scruffy as long as its carried with confidence.

And as far as grey well, it is part of life I consider it a badge of honor and should be worn with pride, because well I find mature men Super Sexy....LOL

LiteralDan said...

I think it's more that everything anyone does to look older or younger looks ridiculous, unless you're only trying to blur the line by a couple years.

An 18-year-old with a mustache passing for a 21-year-old? Maybe. A 35-year-old? Laughable.

A 51-year-old looking 47? Sure. A 74-year-old looking 47? Never.

Just one of those things

Not a soccer mom said...

Too bad you didnt get photographic evidence.
Tom Selleck proved that facial hair is sexy
I for one love trimmed facial hair and men look good with grey. I have been grey since i was 23..the year my third and last baby was born.

snake tattoo? then you lose me.

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