Ask Hot Dads

As men bestowed with vast knowledge we are pledged to share it with you. So we sit around the Hot Dads man cave, drinking beer, playing pool and answering your questions. It is grueling work, but we gladly do it for you. Because we care.

You guys have been sending in some great questions. Keep 'em coming!

Here is this week's Ask Hot Dads:


Willow Witch said...How can I ask/make sure my 16 year old son is emotionally doing OK? My 18 year old daughter says what’s on her mind, so I don’t wonder. I mean I ask but I feel like the nagging mom and I am afraid coming across like that will close more doors than open them. Their dad left us about six months ago for a co-worker and mother of 4, which he is spending time with and making a new family. He texts the kids maybe once a week and has only seen them maybe 8-9 times since he left, picking them up to go out to eat and then brings them home, I have told the kids to go with him when ever they want so to keep the door open... he does stop in where they work to say "hi" but doesn't offer to do activities or anything... I know this is hurting him, but I am afraid of pushing to hard.... As former boys and men what do you suggest?

Dadshouse says…Oh, tough question. First, sorry to hear about your situation. That's very tough. As for your son talking - as a former boy, I can vouch that teen boys often don't talk to their parents. I spilled my emotional junk to my girlfriend. Is your son dating? Anyway you can get close enough with his girlfriend, on a woman to woman level, to find out what's going on with your son? If your son plays sports, the coach might have some influence. Could you explain your situation to the coach and have him talk to your son?

Southern Sage says…Keep the lines open. Don't force him to talk and don't bring it up all the time but kinda hit it from the side. He will be ok. If he isn;t usually emotional then dont sweat it.

Daddy Geek Boy says…I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Teen times are tough enough without having extra stuff on top of it. You’re paying attention and concerned about his emotional well-being, so I think that puts you a giant step in the right direction. Don’t push too hard. Sometimes it’s tough for a guy to talk to his mom. That’s no slag against you, it’s just the way it is sometimes. I have the most open relationship with my mom and there was still stuff we didn’t talk about. Keep the lines of communication open as much as you can. He’ll talk about stuff when he’s ready. But also just watch him. What is he doing? Who is he hanging out with? Is his personality changing radically, or is he just a bit down? If it’s the latter, he’s probably doing okay as can be expected.

Hubman says…You can't do anything about the ex-husband and his relationship with your son. You're wondering if he's doing okay, emotionally. How is he doing in school? Any drop in his academic performance? Changes in behavior? If not, don't worry too much about it and keep letting him know that you're there for him and open to talking. Maybe a little quality mother/son time, without your daughter around, and give him the opportunity to open up to you, if he needs to.

As for the ass-hat ex, have you thought about taking out a contract on him? Seriously, what kind of dad abandons his kids?

Always Home and Uncool says...I'm sorry about your family situation. Not having ever had a situation remotely close to this in my life, my gut instinct is just pull your son aside in a quiet, non-confrontational setting and flat out ask him how he is, tell him it's OK to be upset with you, his dad and the whole mess, and ask if he wants to talk with you or someone else about what he's feeling. If he resists, just drop it but remind him you are always there for him. But before you take my advice, you might want to talk to a family counselor about your concerns and get a professional's opinion on how to handle this.



Why Mom Drinks Rum said...Porn. Does your wife support/enjoy/allow unlimited porn access? I'm talking one way on the screen only...not the interactive $6.99 a minute crap. For me, I personally don't care. I consider it a great tool (alone or in pairs) but I know alot of wives who think it's worse than say...giving head to Satan.

Dadshouse says…I'm divorced, and in between dating relationships. I avoid porn video like the plague! It just makes me frustrated that I'm not getting any. When I'm dating, I don't watch porn because I'm too busy getting laid. So, while I understand some folks enjoy porn, I just haven't found a reason for it in my life.

Southern Sage says…I don't know I never asked her! I would never watch such smut anyway! ;-)

Daddy Geek Boy says…I usually find that my wife has read my "Playboy" before I even know it's arrived. But let's face it, calling "Playboy" porn is like calling Candyland a video game. When it comes to the hard stuff, my wife knows I have it, she knows I watch it. But it’s strangely something we do not talk about. That said, I’m not keeping it a secret from her. If she wanted to know specifics, I’d share. If she wanted to watch, I'd show her. (By the way, do you really know people paying $6.99/minute for interactive porn? Those poor suckers.)

Hubman says…We both enjoy some porn now and then. In fact, just last week Veronica informed me that she recently downloaded 2 hrs worth of quality girl-girl porn and would I like to watch it? As long as we're not paying for it (and why should we, there's tons of free stuff out there on the interwebz!), it's not an issue in our house.

Always Home and Uncool says...In the scenario you pose, who is blowing Beelzebub? Is this available on Blu-Ray , pay-per-view or is it file share only? To your question: Moderation, my friend, moderation.



Jessica said...How do you prefer your women? The landing strip, bald, design etc.....?

Dadshouse says…Great question! I like the look of a landing strip, but have grown accustomed to bald down below. Smooth is key. Stubble is a turn off.

Southern Sage says…Any kinda way suits me, well any way except Chewbacca. I guess I'd say in the least you need to hit it with a bic every now and then. If you can braid it its time to go another route!! Who wants to lick Chewbacca?

Daddy Geek Boy says…Without question, landing strip. But honestly, when push comes to shove, whenever I've had the opportunity to get some in my life, it hasn't mattered as long as there wasn't anything too funky or any critters living down there.

Hubman says…First a serious child-rearing question and now a question on pussy-grooming preferences. Damn, I love our readers!

For the longest time Veronica had the landing strip look going, but then about 2 yrs ago surprised me when I came home from an extended business trip with a Brazilian waxing. I love the bald look and love how it feels even more. Not that there's anything wrong with a little hair down there...

Always Home and Uncool says...I prefer them first to be interested enough in me to even consider opening their sacred garden for viewing. If it gets to that point, if it is not long enough to be braided or cornrowed, I am just too in awe to care.



Not A Soccer Mom said...Is there a God? is she mad?

Dadshouse says…If the Jon and Kate Divorce any indication, God has a wicked sense of humor. Splitting up a family with 8 young kids? Come on....

Southern Sage says…Yes don't you watch the TV? He lives at the White House!

Daddy Geek Boy says…Only when I leave the dishes in the sink.

Hubman says…I think this one is way too deep for someone as shallow as me, even if I'm the step-son of an Episcopal Bishop. Let me ask him....

Not surprisingly, he says yes, there is a god. He also says that she is too forgiving to be mad at us. Disappointed at times, maybe. It's kind of like with our kids, we get mad at them at times, but don't stay that way for long, for a variety of reasons.

Always Home and Uncool says...If the answer to the first part is "yes," my guess is she's probably pissed someone's going down on the Devil and not her.



Jessica asked…What has been the most memorable moment since your fatherhood started? If not yours then how about your dad's, was there something you did that he won't forget?

Dadshouse says…My most memorable experiences have probably been watching my daughter play soccer. Her club team is really good, and hanging with the team parents has been a great social outlet for me as a single parent. If I pick one single moment? Having sex with my first post-divorce girlfriend. There was indescribable chemistry between us. (That moment stretched on for a year and a half) Memory with my kids - camping in Sequoia national park, and visiting Maui. Fun times!

Southern Sage says...Leaving me in the local jail for the night prolly would be something me and the dad won't forget. Every time my kids make the right decision or have a deep thought is what makes me smile the most.

Daddy Geek Boy says…Taking my son to the movies for the first time. Sharing something with him that I truly loved, and watching him have a great time. Would I have to give up my Hot Dad status if I said a tear came to my eye as I sat next to him in the theater? I know that it keeps my “geek boy” mantle in place.

Hubman says…Of course there is an entire mental library of memorable moments, including many of those cliché first step, first words, etc, moments. But I think the most memorable moment has to be moment my 'fatherhood' started! Being in the room when my wife gave birth to each of our kids was fantastic, awe-inspiring, and so humbling. Of course, since I was hoping to one day have sex with her again, I stayed by her side and declined the offer to watch the munchkins come out. I did cut both kids umbilical cords, though, which was really cool.

Always Home and Uncool says...When Thing 1 popped out, the docs asked me to cut the cord. I snipped and was greeted with a spray of blood all over me. It was then I realized that this was the mess I had created for myself.