Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Normal Childhood - Part One - The Mini Hulk

When I look back on my childhood, I think of it as a happy, ‘normal’ childhood…just like everyone else who was growing up in the 70s and 80s. We had everything that we needed and parents who loved us and tended to us the way parents should.

Recently I’ve found myself telling wild stories from my childhood, that lead me to believe that we were anything but normal.

Growing up with 5 siblings (3 sisters and 2 brothers) there was always a lot going on and there were always rifts springing up between sets of us. For the most part, our parents just sat back (and now reflecting on it were most likely cracking the fuck up) and letting us sort things out ourselves…as learning experiences.

M=Adoptive Mother
F=Step Father
S1=sister (older by 2 years)
S2=sister (younger by 4 years)
S3=step-sister (younger by 6 years)
B1=brother (younger by 2 years)
B2=step-brother (younger by 4 years)

I will summarize a few of the questionable stories for you over the next week or so. Then you can tell me if my childhood sounds normal to you or not.

‘Normal’ childhood? - The Mini Hulk

I was a bit of an instigator (still am) and would make it a point to pick on (almost to the point of crying) B2. Now being 4 years younger, he knew that standing his ground with me would be a drastic error in judgment…so he never did…until one day. It was right after school and I was mentally jabbing at him and making him feel as close to a pile of dog shit as I could. Then something happened…the boy freaked. His eyes changed. His skin flared up in a deep red and he screamed, “I HAVE HAD IT!” I responded with some bully-ish retort that sent him flying over the edge. With that, he, moving faster than I’d ever seen him move, ran past the wood stove, snatching up the large iron fire poker and proceeded to chase me around the house…swinging at will trying to silence my banter. Realizing how serious he was, by the trail of broken vases and lamps in his wake and the near miss to the back of my head, I found the only lockable room in the house (my parents) and securely locked the door behind me. Sitting on the edge of their bed, listening to his threats of violence…I figured that the homicidal rage would soon subside and we could all go about our day as per the norm.

All of the sudden, my thoughts were interrupted by the crashing sound of the fire poker connecting with the door knob that was currently saving both of us from a great deal of pain. I watched as the knob became looser and looser, heard wood of the door cracking and I knew that it would be any minute that mini Hulk would come crashing through the door.

I took that as a sign that he was not in a frame of mind to calm down and that I should seek refuge elsewhere. I scrambled over to the window and lowered myself as far as a 12 year old could and jumped the remainder of the two story drop…then bolted (with a slight limp) over to a neighbor’s house until my parents got home.

Come back to read the next installment…Fork Dinner


Ashley said...

Holy crap! Although, from the perspective of the younger child, I do know how much crap we take and put up with and I can definitely see the breaking point being reached, but holy wow.....has he had anger management classes since then? :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I'm going to jump out on a limb here and say... you didn't have a normal childhood???hehe

Actually my brothers chased each other around with shovels and shot each other with bb guns... so a hot iron poker is a little DRASTIC, but I'd say normal for a young kid who took one to many jabs???

But seriously, SCARY! I use to jump on my brothers when I had finally had it and try to beat them. But never resorted to an iron poker.

I'm excited to read more... you are an excellent writer! :)

Anjeny said...

I would say that you have as a "normal" childhood as any...well I'm basing this on my own childhood. I have six older brothers (and one younger brother)and the older brothers tend to pick on younger and we've actually had an incident like yours.

One of my older brothers kept picking on the younger brother til I think the younger brother got sick of it and picked up one of those firewood we have stacked up outside and hit the older brother with was a very chaotic sight indeed, luckily no one needed to be taken into the hospital cuz my mom jumped in and nipped the problem. Result? Older brother had to think twice after that about picking on younger brother.

I'd say you were very lucky to have found a place to hide although if your brother ever did get to you, I'd say you sooo totally deserved know, very mean of me.

Barefoot Dreamer said...

nope sounds perfectly normal... and if it's not then my current situation in which I am raising my boys is screwed up

btw - I commend your bro for doing that - you kinda deserved it :)

Not a soccer mom said...

Scary as it is, pretty normal. I was the youngest of only two.. she picked on me, I told mom... haha

One time I taunted her so bad til she chased me into the only locking door the bathroom. She was so mad she kicked at the door, a little too hard and I came out laughing.. I' gonna tell mom!

But then, my own kids, got into it one day and it took me a week to notice that the glass panel coffee table was amiss...
well, i was working full-time, and going to might school... brain dead.

T said...

I've caught a few baseball bats in the shoulder... and maybe a canned food item... and maybe ONCE a FisherPrice little people house... when the Bro was REALLY mad - so I can relate... and I can hardly wait for the fork dinner - because THAT reminds me of home...

but of course, I wouldn't exactly call MY childhood normal either!

Irish Gumbo said...

That was remarkably like the scenarios between my brother (2 years older than me) and I when wew ere kids. Big bro would just keep taunting and picking until i went berserk. My dad kept telling him "you better leave him alone because one day he's going to turn around and kick your ass big time"...and the prophecy came true (grin)

Still, pretty normal, at least by my standards. Glad you made it out alive :)

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