Sunday, June 7, 2009

Commandments of Marriage, Caption Contest

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said .
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.



BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'

1. hahahaha


2. Porn for Women.


3. Who needs that bumper sticker?

4. Ya think?




Caption Contest! Is TC going to win again???? Gimmie your best shot!!!


I did post on Sage yesterday that got some folks panties tore all up!!!

Hope everyone has a groovy weekend!

11 comments:

ChocDrop said...

Caption: Why does she keep bothering me, I am not a girl.

Just Jules said...

Oh gosh #2 cracked me up, before I enlarged it I really thought it had something to do with a gay guy.... maybe it still does?

Caption - Why did she take me to the barber? I like the beautician better her boobs are right in my face!

TentCamper said...

"I told this bitch not to do this!....She won't like me when I am angry!" Said the little David Banner.

Not a soccer mom said...

nothing worse than a bad harcut---

"I was saving that!"

Baylee said...

"Is this a punishment? Seriously- the dog really did do it!"

LiteralDan said...

"No lolly is worth this kind of torture! Now, getting to play with those shiny scissors might sweeten the pot enough..."

Trooper Thorn said...

Caption: "Now stop your cryin' Samuel. You want Satan to burrow hisself into your head through this long hippie hair?"

katherine. said...

caption:

"Sampson vowed never to let another woman cut his hair..."

SPACE LOVER said...

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relevent married guy said...

I love the "jerk off" / "suck off" hands......I joke about this with my own bride. Of course, she has beautiful jerk off hands too! ;)

relevent married guy said...

I love the "jerk off" / "suck off" hands......I joke about this with my own bride. Of course, she has beautiful jerk off hands too! ;)

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