Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sunday Slides, Funnies, Caption Contest!

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league..'

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


Bob's funeral will be on Friday

1. I can see that happening!


2. that is a bad day right there, click to big!


3. bwhahahaahahaha



THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SOUTHERN GIRL

The first man married a woman from Maine. He told her that she was to
do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the
third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put
away.

The second man married a woman from Washington. He gave his wife orders
that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first
day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By
the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and
there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Alabama. He ordered her to keep the
house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals
on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see
anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day,
some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his
left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a
sandwich and load the dishwasher.
He still pees with some difficulty...

4. Y'all eat I'll buy!


5. LOL


6. It isn't? Who knew?
7. I can't think of anyone but me that looks good in one but me!


8. Look everyone I found a good use for Rap cd's!




Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be
men.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you
call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy..
---------------------------------------------
Q: What does it
mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they
are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
-------------------------------------------
Q: How do you
keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the
email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

***Caption Contest!!! Haaaaaaaaa Give it your best shot!




Dont forget to hit the GIVEAWAY, anyone can enter, taking entries till the 26th!!

Have a big ole Sunday! Pick some faves, try the caption contest, enter the giveaway! Steal whatcha wanna!

9 comments:

Barefoot Dreamer said...

The stripper story is funnnnny!

Love the pillow one too.

Genevieve said...

Caption: Can I bum a couple Geritols?

Southern Sage said...

BWhahahahahahahah Good one G!

Cristin said...

awesome chuckles. thanks

MindyMom said...

Love the pillow one!

It's nice to have Sunday morning funnies as part of my routine again.

TentCamper said...

caption: "The oldest (barely) living one man show"
or
"I barter for sex"

Not a soccer mom said...

oh boy these left tears of laughter in my eyes... good picks.

Caption: (For us old folks)
" After Sesame Street, Mr. Hooper did the best he could to supplement his Social Security Wages"

The Pipster said...

Stripper story is hilarious. So are the pics of the dirty t-shirt and the CD on the gas can. :)

Web Hosting said...

Ok so im entering my 18 month old son into a cute kid contest i need help with a caption to provide?

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