Well I got this simple question that I thought would be good fodder for a post so let me know what you think.
Before we get to the question I should state my stance on child rearing or training any person or animal. Consistency is the NUMBER ONE key to making this happen with man, child or beast. If an action gets the exact same reaction every time you can train anything. I am strict. I take no shit, ever. I believe it is my charge as a parent to do my damndest to train my children to respect rules and laws, be they of the government, household, school, religion or whatever. It is up to me to make their passage into adulthood easier by training them to know that if they do the right thing and do what they are supposed to do even when nobody is looking then they will do well and will be on the right side of the universe/gods/God/Mohammad/Budda/Yota or Darwin/Obama for you Democrats. I have said this before but if you missed it you can ask my kids and they will tell you what I mean when I ask them politely to do something, they will say "He means right now and for sure, he don't mean later and he damn sure don't mean maybe". And they are of course correct. They will also tell you "He ain't raisin no damn Democrats, we will be responsible for our actions and responsible for our belongings."
Responsibility is the key for the child and consistency is the key for the parent. A wise man said "repetition is the mother of consistency". So we must glean from that that if the the parent repeats the same actions (reward/punishment) then the child should consistently perform to expectation. And they will. So there that is my take now on to the question.
Here was the whole email. From a married woman (sexy of course, I only ever deal with sexy women) that has a few kids tween down in age.
how clean do you think a kids room should be?
I gave my answer and the follow up email said:
thanks. this is where I feel alone. I have no back up on this stuff. nobody to ask about this sort of stuff ... it is " my deal"
Two things to hit here.
#1. The room and how clean.
Here at the Sage's I
To get this done I have them on a schedule. When they get home from school they do their chores. Then they do their homework, then they can play or whatever it is they do for fun. Then they eat supper. If you think for a second they won't eat if their room isn't clean you have misread me terribly. If you think that my daughter would miss the father daughter annual dance because she didn't do her chores, again you have misread me. Lastly if you think even for a second that I won't call off a non-refundable Disney trip because chores are not completed, you dear reader have absolutely mis read me. These things happen every single day of their life. They cried, threw down in the floor, vomited, peed on themselves, kicked, screamed, hollard, pooped the floor, and their heads spun around the first week or two. And I assure you "this isn't fair" was their favorite term to yell. But after that it became routine and they do it without a battle now.
So I am ok with one toy in the floor, or some things not in there exact proper place but in general the room being straight is enough for me.
#2. No back up.
This is huge for married/shacked up people in my opinion. I expect the bride to back me 100% in front of the kids. (Ok sometimes people call me out because I don't disclaim every damn statement I make because of exceptions, so here a go. If I am being abusive or demanding them to do something that might kill them or harm them physically or mentally or whatever then she, of course, should of course intercede on their behalf) Outside of that she should back me. She should also, outside of my presence back up my assertions and intercede on my behalf to the kids.
"Baby you know your daddy wants you to clean your room so why not do it before he gets home?"
"Baby you know your daddy only makes you clean up to make you a more responsible person so that when you grow up you will understand better how to run your life and that of YOUR family"
And I of course back her 100%. If we disagree we discuss it outside of the presence of the kids and refine our strategy.
Ever heard of "divide and conquer?"
You think a 7 year old isn't smart enough to employ that tactic? If you don't think so then you don't and have never had one.
So dear reader what do you think? How clean should a kids room be? How often should it be clean? How do you get your kid to do it? Do tell.
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