Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Frazzled Single Dad

As a single parent blogger, I try my best to tell entertaining stories about my single dad dating life and also about raising teens. But lately I’ve been feeling like a frazzled single parent, and it's been a challenge to stay focused on positive blog posts (I don't like venting online. But I might vent a little right now. Doh!)

I’d like nothing more than to have a partner* pick up the slack for me right now. (* preferably a latina who enjoys spooning, but I wouldn’t say no to a hot French woman who likes a stiff mai tai. Doh!)

I actually thought I was staying on top of things. But when I drove my son to lacrosse practice, I realized I was losing a grip on my week.

My son played a lacrosse game this past Saturday, and his team only scored one goal.
“Are you guys working on drills where you cut into the crease to quick-stick some shots?” I asked. “Your team really needs to start scoring.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “We scored six goals in Sunday’s game.”

They had a game on Sunday? Doh! Frazzled single dad points scored!

“By the way, some lady called you for an interview,” my son said.
“She did?” I asked.
“Yeah. It was supposed to happen on Monday.”

Doh! Frazzled single dad points scored again.

After dropping him at lacrosse practice, I had an hour to fix dinner before I needed to pick him up again. But I came home to a house with both toilets backed up. Seriously backed up. Like, I needed to call a plumber to snake the line.

Frazzled single dad, redux!

But wait, there was a bigger problem. My daughter had a soccer playoff game after dinner that I wanted to see. I was supposed to pick my son up from lacrosse practice, get him home to eat, start him on his homework (he was skipping her game), go see my daughter’s game, and get back home before anyone’s bedtime.

Frazzled! Frazzled! Frazzled! Can’t someone else pick him up and take care of him?

At that point, I actually thought it was a sign from the universe. You see, I have a hard deadline Friday that I’m working overtime to meet. If I skipped my daughter’s playoff game, I could work toward the deadline while the plumber fixed the toilets, and my son got his homework done. My frazzled state would be pacified, in spades. (Of course there are more fun ways to get unfrazzled. Drinking and sex, anyone? Doh!)

But soccer playoff games like this come once in a high school lifetime. No way would I miss my daughter and her teammates in a match like that.

And so this single dad gave a middle finger to his frazzled life – I went to the game, I sent my kids to their mom’s house to sleep, and I told the plumber to come at 11pm.

I’m home alone now, shaking up my favorite margarita recipe, writing this post, feeling quite unfrazzled.

But man, I have to pee. Where’s that damn plumber, already?!

btw – my daughter's team lost late in the game when the ref called a dubious foul in the box. It looked like the girl took a dive, and it definitely wasn't in the box. The sideline ref said he didn't see a foul. But the center ref, who was 30 yards from the play, called it and awarded the other team a penalty kick - i.e. one on one vs. the goalie, and almost impossible to stop. In short, the center ref gifted the game to the other team. Season over. Frazzled times!

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25 comments:

WeaselMomma said...

Parenthood isn't easy. Raising teens isn't easy. You have reason to be frazzled and you are doing it alone.

I hope next week is better.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I hope you enjoyed the margarita, and your life gets defrazzled soon.

Vinomom said...

How the hell did you get a plumber to come out at 11 pm? That must have cost you some serious OT. Sucks that your daughter's team lost, but at least you were there to support her!

ShellSpann said...

We all get frazzled here and there. Sounds like you made the best of it though!:)

Heather said...

I like your style, hope the maragita was good.

The Pipster said...

You need a happy ending :)

Kat Wilder said...

Dads — Booze is no solution ...
Parenting is hectic under the best conditions (two parents, one caring for the kids full time, and lots of helpers), but it's always a juggle for single parents. It's so much easier when they get older, but still. We must have our priorities; they grow up fast.

And, I thought the whole point of being a man was being able to pee in the yard!!!!

MindyMom said...

Frazzled single parent? Your story here sounds like a pretty average day for me! ;)

If only I could get a (hot) plumber on call after a day like that...

dadshouse said...

Vinomom - almost all the plumbers here work 24/7, same high rate, no matter the time.

Kat - booze is no solution, but there's nothing wrong with having a cocktail or glass of wine at the end of the day. In fact, most doctors say it's healthy.

Pipster - indeed!

TentCamper said...

I feel ya. But try having 6 kids, 7 pets, 4 teams and 2 musical instruments to juggle. Life does get hectic...and bites at times...but I love running around solely to be involved in the kids' activities. I think they see how much effort we put in to be there for them...and I think they like that.
But...pass me a drink!!

Danielle said...

You need to get some. Helps with all things sucky!

Swirl Girl said...

Uh, dude - welcome to motherhood!
single or otherwise!

Nonflammable said...

Booze isn't a solution? Well f**k! I've been putting it in my coffee.

Katherine said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only single parent frazzled by parenting a teen right now!

Thanks for sharing

Not a soccer mom said...

Everyday life for me...and cant send them anywhere for the night...
Pass the Margaritas!

hope things have defrazzled some

LB said...

Single parenting can definitely lead to a frazzled life at times.

Nice to see you made it to her game, it is not the fact that she lost that she will remember she will remember that you were there. Hope the project does get done.

MindyMom - if I could guarantee the plumber was hot I would call them out at 11pm too!

Anonymous said...

I thought the same as "Not a soccer mom." In what sense are you doing it alone when you've got a place you can send the kids (overnight even!) in an emergency? You've got a coparent--even better, a cooperative coparent. I think you've referred elsewhere to sharing the kids 50/50 with her. So how is that "alone"? It sounds pretty good to me!

Boston single said...

You should have go with kids to see the the match. It might be the good idea. Atleast they might have shouted better than you to the referee.

T said...

Dude! I so get this...

Just remember to breathe!

Joanna Cake said...

Raising teens is a nightmare.

But you're better off doing it alone than with a partner who consistently undermines you and destroys your ability to parent properly.

I watch my ex as a single dad now. He's struggling with all the things that I used to have to deal with. But at last Im not slagging him off behind his back and giving the kids treats when they've misbehaved instead of punishing them.

I have managed to rebuild some respect with my teenagers, it's a slow process but you have to stick to your guns and do what's right, not what's easiest.

It sounds like you're doing a grand job :)

dadshouse said...

Anonymous - I can't go shower, shit, and shave at my ex's house. I have no family in the area. And I can't always send the kids to their mom's - I happened to be able to this night.

Full time single parents have one set of problems, and parents who have to deal with co-parents, and not seeing their kids half the time, have different problems altogether.

KiddosDad said...

I agree totally dadshouse! I have my little one 75% of the time, and dealing with the ex is about as stressful as parenting sometimes.

Great post! Being a single dad is stressful, but really rewarding.

Keep up the good work!

Barry said...

No stress. No life. Sad but true. Even more as a single dad or mom. I spent many times in my car with the music on, by myself, to get away. Sometimes just in the garage.

Guess as my kids are older now, and look back, those are the times you remember. Those are the stories told around the dinner table. The crazy times. Wear them as a badge of honor DH. Guess what, these times, today, are yours and your kids good old days in the future.

Great stuff as always DH.

Pete said...

Ugh that's rough man.

Just pray you're going to hit the lotto soon and then you can have a Latina and a French maid. :)

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