Caption Contest, Funnies

Last Call on the best, easiest give-away in the universe, HERE.


Master Card Wedding
You got to love this guy....
This is a true story about a recent wedding
that took place at Clemson University .
It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.


After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to than k everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.


He especially wanted to thank the bride's family and his f amily and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.


Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out
about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in f ront of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000.

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things mo ney can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD



A Mastercard Wedding

'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,
it's more like a jar of Jalapenos-- what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow......



1. Ok ladies steal this and post it on your blog.













2. That is just silly.


















Health tip of the day

If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

My present and future financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of…

Barack Obama

Joe Biden

Harry Reid

Nancy Pelosi

Tim Geithner

Rahm Emmanuel

Chris Dodd

and Barney Frank!

If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.

There is no need to thank me for this advice; I'm just doing it as a public service.

3. Go Toger, you tell em.
















"BAIL EM OUT! ????

Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country, our banking system, our auto industry and possibly our health plans to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey!"





4. Just in case you are tired of eating hard balls?!?!?!













5. Amen to that.
















6. The toilet paper isle or the athletic gear isle? Where to go first?













7. Yes yes a nice kitchen!





















8. Ha, and true too!








Caption Contest, give it your best shot!

















Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman. She asked me if I liked breasts or legs. I told her what I really liked was a shaved snatch.

Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC.

bwhahahahaahaha

There ya go hit the give-away, gimmie your best caption, strip naked and run around your house and have a big ole Sunday!