Thursday, March 11, 2010

At what age can I know this isn't a coincidence?

While reading a bedtime story to my kids, I heard a sucking sound coming from the general vicinity of my 5-year-old son D-. Since he has been known to occasionally nearly destroy clothing and sheets by sucking or chewing on them, I was all over it.

Me: Were you just sucking on your sheet?

D- (innocently): No.

Me: How about your pajamas?

D-: No.

Me: Were you sucking on any of your stuffed animals?

D-: No.

Me: How about your fingers?

D- (short pause, then either coming clean or going for gold in expressing his opinion): ...Yeah-- this one.

Guess which finger he held up to me?



You may also enjoy my previous D- conversations, (3 YO daughter) M- conversations, and (wife) J- conversations.

Posted by LiteralDan

24 comments:

muummmmeeeeee...... said...

I'm guessing not his thumb...

peedee said...

ahh, the truth hurts! lol

WeaselMomma said...

Ha! Sure it was a coincidence.

Chris M. said...

Actually, the question should be at what age will the doctor quit believing your made-up excuses about your son breaking his finger? Slamming it in a car door or getting it stuck in a Shape Sorter Ball only works a limited number of times.

-Chris
Weather Moose

Barefoot Dreamer said...

Well, you asked

LiteralDan said...

Chris, I tell you, that might become an issue if I ever have no doubt about his intent! Any little emo skater punks in my future will just have to do their very best to pretend they respect and/or fear me!

Middle Aged Woman said...

Oh, that's not a coincidence. He goes to school, LD, he's heard what it means from the bad kid with older brothers.

LilliGirl said...

Hey! Wanted to let you know you Rock! Award for you over at my place. :)

MindyMom said...

Lol. That is hilarious. What did you say?

TentCamper said...

Are you sure he is not my son???? (I thing that the use of that finger has been genetically programmed into my genes.)

But to answer your question....14

Always Home and Uncool said...

I'm guessing ring finger. That's the most difficult.

Southern Sage said...

LOL
well you did ask didn't you?!

LiteralDan said...

Well, AH&U, my wife might have passed on some of her unusual ring-finger dexterity, so that's a good guess, but no, he flipped me a perfect bird, like I'd just cut him off in traffic.

No half-hearted or sideways finger-raising for him.

And TC, if 14 is the standard, I'll be on the lookout by 12, with this one.

MindyMom, I had to assume it was innocent, so rather than mysteriously empower That Finger for him so early, I just said something like, "Yeah, that's what I thought-- keep your hands out of your mouth, please."

If I didn't know any better, I'd say the kid was a cannibal for how often I find human fingers in his mouth! Oh well, better than his own feet, like his sister has done a couple times.

The Pipster said...

The middle finger tastes better!

dadshouse said...

Hahahahaha! Love it

Trooper Thorn said...

To quote Bill Cosby: Kids are all brain damaged.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

If you figure out how to make them stop sucking please PLEASE tell me. My 7 yo sucks (haha) and so help me .. I am this close to putting vinegar on everything he touches ... grr (she growls, and goes back to biting her nails).

LiteralDan said...

No luck yet, teaching these "brain-damaged" little monsters to keep their saliva to themselves, delicious middle fingers or no.

And since they're MY kids, whenever I say to keep everything out of their mouths that isn't food, I start hearing things like, "Well, what about when we have to brush our teeth?" as the start of a list of exceptions.

Not a soccer mom said...

now, how else would he tell you.. At least he is destroying his finger and not the sheets...wait, let me re-think that.

You will know it is no longer a coincidence about time number three of the SAME finger :P

Momma Sunshine said...

HA!!! Love love LOVE it!!

adrienne breaux said...

Hah!

-adrienne
http://wearegoodkin.com

Mrs4444 said...

That's flippin' awesome, hahahaaha

web designing jacksonville said...

Please note this is the only record I could find of this and was a full ten years before Celtic were formed. Coincidence?

web designing jacksonville said...

There are sections of the crowd at old firm matches that still dispute the result in 1690. You'll have to wait your turn on this one.

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