Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Divorce Court Update

Knowing you all the way I do, I knew that you would all want to hear about my most recent visit to divorce court.

To set this up, I’ll tell you that the date was to discuss a modification to the current visitation orders and to address the contempt charges that I filed against my ex for not allowing me to see my boys.

Upon arriving at court, I was directed to the mediation office, which I knew was a joke because there is no way in hell that my ex would agree on anything that I propose…especially it meant more time for me.

After waiting there for about 20 minutes and …her not showing up, they sent me up to the court room. I checked in and had a seat. After a good 45 minutes of listening to the smug attorneys sharing stories about their weekends and caseloads, my case was called.

The judge asked us all to identify ourselves – and as HER attorney was introducing himself, he stated that he was only representing her for the modification and not for the contempt charges. The judge looked up and said that she needed to have an attorney for the contempt arraignment and that she may have to be appointed to the public defenders office. I knew that meant everything would be delayed…once again.

Then her attorney stated that she could not go to mediation or proceed with the modification hearing as her Fifth Amendment rights might be violated. What the fuck is that? I explained to the judge that I have only seen my boys twice since the end of November and that I wanted the visitations back on track. The judge agreed and stated that the current visitation order would remain in effect until we went back to court.

Additionally, my ex’s attorney asked the courts for approval on having the case examined by a child custody evaluator. The judge agreed and told us that it would cost us each an additional $400. Out of my $150 that I have…it is gonna be quite the struggle.

So now I have to wait until April 5th to go see the evaluator and then back to court April 27th. This has all dragged on MAY of 2006! I am so sick of all of this bull shit! I even received an email from my ex stating that she would “make this divorce as long, drawn out and irritating as possible for me.”
Excuse my language…but … What a fucking cunt!!!!

Anyway, as I have been doing this whole thing without an attorney…I think it is time that I slap her in the face with my balls a bit. (meaning … me getting representation.)

Other than that…cuz I know she is going to read this…
You look like shit. You have gained at least 100 pounds. Your smug attitude is laughable and your attorney looks, stumbles and walks like a freakin hobo.


T said...


((hugs)) TC.

I'm so sorry that you are still dealing with this.

The parent that actually cares for our children said...

Nice try liar. How about the slap you got for not paying child support for 3 years? Visitation was suspended because professionals have agreed that your environment is toxic and has damaged our young children. They hate going to your house and are scared of you and your wife.

I hope you finally get a lawyer to talk some sense into you. This has dragged on because of your drug addiction issues, your mental stability (as you admit you are on public assistance for such issues), your failure to pay court-ordered child support and continued immaturity, refusal to co-parent and self-centered nature is just hurting the children.

Brandy said...

Gah. I hope that karma bitch slaps her. Repeatedly.

I know it's expensive but maybe it is time to man your army cause this battle has gone on too long. I bet your court file is like a friggin' War and Peace novel. Thick!

WeaselMomma said...

I'm sorry that you or anyone has to go through this type of thing. Divorce is ugly, but Moms and Dads should always play nice to spare the kids. They are getting hurt and don't deserve it. I hope they get to see their Dad soon.

Mariah said...

@The Parent That Cares...

Drug issues huh?? Well, I live here and I know there aren't any drugs in this house, b/c I happen to have issues with drugs and WILL NOT allow drugs here. (except maybe some Mary Jane... J/K)


You say professionals have suspended visitation b/c our situation is toxic? Are you out of your mind??? YOU suspended visitation b/c YOU said the boys have anxiety. PROFESSIONALS DID NOT SAY IT!!!

Let the kids see their dad, you are doing nothing but harming them by continuously coddling and over protecting them. THEY'RE FINE WHEN THEY'RE HERE!

Also? If it's me that's the problem I will leave the house when the kids are here for the weekend. Chris deserves to see his kids and they deserve to see him.

I have personally seen the devastation that comes from not having a dad in your life (through my oldest daughter) It is so damaging in the long run.

You both need to figure this shit out for the kids sake

TentCamper said...

Well - "The Parent That Cares..."
since you seem to want to contribute here...I'd like everyone to know who you are
@lolita on Twitter
http://www.mygloss.com/ on your fake ass blog

have a nice day

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

This is harming the kids.

They know and it will effect them for as long as they live.

That is our place in the lives of our children.

So sad.

Big City Dad said...

Jesus, this suck all the way around. It's so easy to hate your Ex. I have a hard time with this myself. For you kids' sake though, you two have to drop your weapons and figure this out. The kids have to come first, need both parents, and have to see the two of you at least be cordial. If not, they're going to be F'd up for life. I hope you can come to some kind of truce. That's what your kids would want.

Danielle said...

I don't understand how Mariah's kids are doing great and are good kids if the environment is "SO TOXIC"
Sorry TC. I hope that this works out for you and your boys!

Missty said...

Wow, so sad. I say document everything TC. If she says she is going to drag this out - show the judge the email, let him see this needs to end. Good grief, she has got to see, enough is enough.

I would think if she wanted to move on she would give you the divorce.... so it sounds like to me - she still wants you.
Because draging this on, isn't letting either of you move on. She gets what she wants - communication with you - no matter how terrible and toxic it is. Once the divorce is final, she won't have a reason to talk to you. Kind of like a little child who seeks attention - if they don't get attention when they are doing good, they will get attention when doing something bad.
SHe is the little bad child getting your attention.

What a nightmare! I wish you all the luck.

Anonymous said...

she's "an expert on relationships"? wouldn't any expert advise it's best for children especially boys to have their fathers an active part of their life?
even if you were once addicted to drugs and you're clean and sober now, how can that be used against you. it's one thing if you're still using, but if you're clean you deserve to see your kids and they deserve to see you.
i hate when mothers use their kids against their exes!!! my mother used me against my dad. those boys will realize what she's doing eventually and will turn on her. kids are not a pawn for you to use to exact revenge on your ex.
my husband broke my heart and left me for another woman. i still gave him 50-50 custody. just because he fucked me over doesn't mean i should fuck my kids over by removing their father from their lives. dads deserve just as much time as moms. it pisses me off when fathers that want to be there are told they aren't as important as moms and given crap visitation rights. did i want my kids 100% of the time? hell yes! but i loved my kids enough to give them equal time with their daddy.

Janie Woods said...

Wow, my divorce was ugly but we left the kids out of it. 50/50 but since we're 3k miles apart now he only sees them for the summer. HOWEVER, my older boys are almost adults and they talk daily to the dad, even if it's online playing the Xbox.

Your ex sounds like my hub's ex. Thank GOD they didn't have kids. Mariah, I feel for you. His ex would call me 80 times (not kidding, printed out the caller ID from my fax) a night. Threatened to kill me, stab me, burn my house down. Called the cops and said hubs was dealing drugs (he was in the USMC at the time) then called CPS and told them I was abusing my kids (I was still in the Navy then, too). Lovely cunt, she was.

As for you @the one that parents...Jesus woman! LET HIM GO already! If he's such a piece of shit and a loser, why the fuck are you hanging on??? Sounds like you're just a bitch that doesn't want ANYONE to be happy and you like to live in drama, drama, drama. Your boys WILL figure this out. It seems to me, just from YOUR response, that you're the toxic one here. Seek help and soon!!

Mariah said...

@janiewoods It IS hard, she emails and shit. I just ignore her. She says all of our online friends are degenerates.

I think she is detrimental to the kids, she has so much hostility. I have been nothing but good to their kids and she also called CPS on us claiming that I lock the kids out of the house. WHAT A CROCK, of course she'll deny it, but I have the CPS report. It's only a matter of time before she digs herself into a REALLY deep hole

Janie Woods said...

Haha! If she knew what I do for a living, degenerate would be the LAST word she would use for me!! Not very judgmental, is she? Holy cow!!

TC and you have much more patience and tolerance than I do. I just hope the end is in sight, for all your sakes.

Mariah said...

@janiewoods What do you do???? Email me at manicmariah@gmail.com

peedee said...

Man I feel bad for those kids. First they dont get to see their father during their childhood. Then they're going to figure out what a coniving bitch their mother was eventually and really despise her for it.

They lose twice.

Hope you all get if figured out for their sakes soon.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I feel really bad for the children. If she wants to hate you and make voodoo dolls of you and stick pins in them, thats fine, but let the kids see their dad.

Anonymous said...

Here's a story from been there and done that. My husband's ex threatened the very same thing-"I will make it so you never see your children again." And, she did just that. These type of women have a way of manipulating everyone in their life.

Years later when I was talking with my stepdaughter, she wanted my advice on how to get along with an ex-wife, since her mother and I never had any problems. I was horrified that she never saw how terrible her mother was to us, and all those years of hoping that she would see it eventually and we would win the war were for knaught! I wanted to tell her that mother was an extreme *itch and refused to talk to me during her entire childhood; list all the indecent and terrible examples of how she made our life miserable - but instead I bit my tongue. In my mind, if she saw how great we got along, then I must have done a damn good job of making it seem like everything was good.

Did I ever get vindicated?? NO! But I realized that I'd spent too much time in my life hating that woman and she was NOT going to get anymore of it.

I hate to say it but sometimes the best thing to do is to say Hasta la Vista, Baby and give up. Once we did that, things got better. It was all about her winning. She won, but the kids lost.


Anonymous said...

Oh, one more thing I wanted to mention. After both the children turned 18, she sued us for $200,000 in back child-support. Here is a hint that will help you in the long run. KEEP ALL YOUR BANK STATEMENTS!!! - It will cost thousands of dollars to recreate them beyond 2 years. This will show any support you paid. Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

Divorce is rough and child custody can be even rougher. One thing I can recommend is quit the name calling and commenting on the custody stuff online. It just serves to make the situation worse and is apparent by the comments. It adds fuel to the already unstable fire. The best advise is to keep all of this stuff offline. Everyone can understand the anger and the frustration but calling the ex a c*nt will only bite you in the end. It shows that you may talk like this to your children about their mother. Why give her the ammo?

I've had to warn my ex about what he posts online on facebook/myspace etc. about our court dates and what he allows his girlfriend to call me me (yeah naming me "dipsh*t on a picture with my children on a social networking site, yeah that's a person I want around my children). The last thing any divorced caring and involved parent wants their kids to be able to google this when they are older and read how ugly and negative it really was and have to go through it again. Spare the kids the drama and the emotional hurt and leave it offline. No ammo, no evidence, no drama, nada...Spare the kids and be the bigger, better person.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I totally agree with the last anonymous' comment. TC, I feel for you man cause I know you're a good guy who cares deeply for your kids. I've been over to the so called "toxic environment" and found nothing but warmth and good times.

But I have to say that the comments and hostility may feel good to vent in public, but will cause more harm than good. She's baiting you and I'm afraid that she will use this against you.

Get a lawyer who can go in there and fight for you. You deserve to have this thing settled once and for all.

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