Monday, February 8, 2010

Amber asks.......

Last week Hot Momma Amber hit me up and asked me to help her get some advice, and to pimp her post. I thought if would be a good Q to just post and let you all respond to.

Amber says.....

I'm frustrated.
I'm all over the place.
Mr (Hubs) brought D (son) home from school today, and pulled me aside to discuss the goings on with D's day.
We've had trouble with the school since we first began. Back in the beginning of December, we finally had a meeting with both the teach and the principal. When we got there I was already frustrated because I had requested a meeting a number of times through parent/teacher/communication notes, and received no response. They thought I kind of blew it out of proportion. I felt I was being ignored, and had no other way to communicate because of my work schedule.
Unfortunately, when we did go to that meeting, no strategies for action were discussed other than having us enroll him in counseling, and role playing how he would approach other kids for play.
Mr went to pick up D on Tuesday, and found his desk had been moved (again, literally lost count of how many times he's been moved around the classroom) right next to the teachers desk.
My first thought when he told me this, was "My child has been a disruption to your class, and all you can think of is placing him right next to you...really?!"
It's time for me to advocate for my child, in a clear, honest, and direct manner.
I am unsatisfied with my son's school, and their abilities to handle and cope with my child. I am unsatisfied with any courses of action they've taken because they've done jack squat to help him, and could've possibly hindered him even more.
I'm pissed off. I'm frustrated. I'm nearly ready to move him to another school. If one of our other choices were available, I would.
So, to all of you other parents who read here, and even those who don't...please, come and tell me how you've advocated for your child, and tell me what has worked best for you??

There you go, encouragement, advice, have you been there? What would you do, or suggest she do?

Sage is out.


The Pipster said...

This is totally unacceptable. I would like to hear what other teachers out there have to say (unfortunately, I am not a teacher), but as a mom, I would be furious with the lack of communication on the school's part.

TentCamper said...

I understand that many schools are overcrowded, but this sucks and I would freak a bit and cause a stink. If that happened to one of my kids, I'd talk to the teachers and the principal on a weekly basis...and talk to my child about it.
I don't know how old your son is or what the exact issues it is a bit hard to give advice.

dadshouse said...

That's a tough one. My parents were both educators, so I have some insight into schools. And my son has gotten into trouble on occasion, so I've run up against the schools like you're doing now.

It all comes down to the teacher.

We've had a few teachers who worked with us to find the best approach to helping our son learn (without moving his desk around, without calling for counseling.)

Other teachers have banished him to the hallway for alone time, or made him sit alone through recess, or made him sit by the teacher. Those teachers were very hard to deal with.

The administration will always support the teacher.

Interesting thing - the teacher we had the hardest time with was someone who had a reputation as being the nicest teacher on earth - to everyone else. Another family locked horns with her, and discovered she could be the meanest SOB on earth, too. We endured that teacher for a year, and moved on. It was a rough year, but it's past us now. And our son is doing great.

Nonflammable said...

You haven't really specified what is going on with your son other than he is disruptive in class. Has your son talked about what he thinks is the problem? Is he bored, getting done with work before others. I don't think counseling is a bad thing but I guess it just depends what the underlying issues are for his being disruptive in class.

Missty said...

Oh man, its really tough on everyone when you have a problem in school. With four kids and our youngest being a senior this year - that makes for school stuff for 25 yrs straight! blah!

We have had great teachers and some you just can't stand.

At this point you have maybe alittle over 3 months of school left. I would be asking for progress reports daily or weekly from the teacher, and a report from your child each day.

One of my sons had a 6th grade teacher that was a nightmare, I finally told my son that we have to stay put in this class, and we will start counting down the days till he is out of that class. Seriously one day he walked out of the class, and as he got in the car, I just said 72 more days! He started to smile, so we counted down till day 0!! The other thing I did was to let that teacher know she was not to punish my son for anything till I was notified. So don't move his desk, don't keep him in from recess, till I hear the problem.

I also went to the principal and let him know I wasn't happy, and I was documenting everything... just incase I needed it. And that he needs to be the childs advocate and not the teacher who has issues with MANY kids. Let the principal know that next year you will not be tolerating such a year and that you are letting him know that you want a certain teacher for next year, then remind him again at the end of the year.

We got through that year, and when school stuff gets brought up now, that son always brings up his nightmare year with that teacher. With a laugh and how me and him coped. lol

Oh and one more thing. I also told the principal I had two more sons approaching 6th grade... they better not get that teacher, and she better not even look their way! LOL

Don't mess with this mama bear.

Good luck to you.

Keith Wilcox said...

The only interactions I've had with public schools have been miserable failures. They don't care and they don't listen. I went to an East coast boarding school for most of my High School and that was great because the teachers were accountable (30k per year will get people to listen). I don't have that kind of money for my kids, so I homeschool them. Not for religious reason, not for political reason -- just because I'm the only one who listens and cares when it comes to my kids.

Oh, I know what I'm saying is almost no help to you. On that note, I really wish I could give you good advice. My natural instinct in these situations is to say "screw it" and just do it myself. I can't wait indefinitely for a school to respond to something as important as my kids' educations.

Anonymous said...

I don't homeschool but I wouldn't send my kids to public schools for all 3 reasons you mentioned!

Anonymous said...

I've been lucky in that the Long Beach Unified School District in CA is one of the best in the nation and the one we're in in New York is awesome too. I've had some problems with Drama Queen, but I found that staying on top of things with the teachers, counselor and principal are the way to go. Good luck...

LilliGirl said...

Without knowing what he's doing that's hard to answer.

Me, we had a miserable teacher and a shitty principal suspending my son in 1st grade. We switched schools entirely. He's in 3rd grade, no issues and on honor roll. I know I did the right thing for my son.

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