Sunday, February 28, 2010

Hot Mamma Happy Birthday, Slides, Funny, Caption Contest

Ok first thing go tell two Hot Mammas - Happyyyyyy Birthdayyyyyyy, they are older than the hills and might not remember but if you write it in her comment box she can go back and read it again and again! Hit it HERE and HERE!!!!!!!

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00."

A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."

The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00."

hehehehhehe

1. Loving those leggings right there!




2. That should be plenty stable!


3. I'm for that!



3. I think I'll just sit and talk no eating for me.



An old country preacher
had a teenage son, and it was getting
time
the
boy should give some thought to

choosing a profession. Like many
young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. A bible.

2. A silver dollar.

3. A bottle of whisky.

4. And a Playboy magazine.

'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself.
'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the
dollar,
he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up
the
bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.. 'He's gonna run for Congress.'

4. Yeah guy drowning!


5. LOL

6. hahahahahaha true!


Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Larry turns to Doug and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.'

Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave.

The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.

'Logic?' Larry says. 'What's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Yes, I have a family.

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual..'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Doug says, 'What's that?'

Larry says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'

'No.'

'Then you're a queer.'



I am so glad I own a weedeater.


Caption contest!! Maybe someone can come up with something for this pic.



Ok well try the contest, go tell both of the Hot Mamma Happy Birthday! Steal whatcha wanna! Y'all have a big ole day!

17 comments:

Heather said...

fantastic pictures! My brain however is far too tired to come up with something witty and clever.

The Pipster said...

Sage, you always know how to make me smile with your posts!

Just Jules said...

i don't know - but that man needs food (and clothes?)

Keith Wilcox said...

another excellent day of funnies. :-) thanks!

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Happy birthday to the Hot Mamas!!!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Okay Super Excited to see that it was ME you were linking to for the birthday!!!

THen I laughed at all the jokes!

Thanks Sage-- I feel all special and stuff :)

"wife triple dog dared me to! The naked part was to spite her."

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Happy Birthday To Mariah also!!! No wonder we get along so well ;)

TentCamper said...

Happy birthday Shelle and Mariah!!!!

As for the caption...
"These G-forces ripped off my clothes and is making me feel kinda weird!"
or
"Catch me if you cap coppers!!!! MOTO-STREAKING!!!!!"

Tracy DeLuca said...

Needed the giggles today! Thanks.

Southern Sage said...

LOL@ TC
bwhahahahahahahahaahah

LOL@ BD girl Shelle!

Always Home and Uncool said...

Happy, happy to Mariah and Shelle. Show us some Hot Mama pride!

UP said...

Slow down, Old Man, you blew yer clothes off!

Or:
Skin Tight!

UP

dadshouse said...

Those are some funny pics, as usual. I like the Sharon Stone one. And the guy drowing? Didn't even see him! (And I ain't gonna start looking now)

tour and travel said...

Nice information, this really useful for me. There is nothing to argue about.
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it. Thx.

Web Hosting said...

You have to come up with your own Caption Contest entry, otherwise you can be frozen. Using other people's work in Neopets contests are prohibited by the site.

Joanna Cake said...

Ewww - that last one

Web Hosting said...

wish you a very happy birth day mom.

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