Saturday, August 15, 2009

Normal Childhood - Military Training (part 2)

Catch up on Part One if you have not read it yet.

By the time morning hit, we could hardly wait to see if we’d caught anything (or anyone) in our traps. We ignored the stealth policy as we bolted through the woods to the location of our creations. One by one, we closely inspected them, noticing nothing but a few random piles of animal scat and a small handful of porcupine quills.

Disappointed with having caught nothing we regrouped for a new strategy. After thoroughly discussing the mater in detail, we thought that the best plan was to lure someone into one of the traps. Yes…I was the one with 3 sisters and it was decided that little sisters make great prey.

Upon returning from my neighbor’s house we approached my middle sister, taunting her with a large bag of Twizlers and candy corn, we told her to count to 100 and then if she could find us at our fort that she could have our bag of sweetness. She began counting and we bolted into the forest snickering at our own genius.

A few minutes later, as we had taken up position in eyesight of each of our traps, we began to hear the crunching and twig snapping of a non-trained civilian tromping through the woods. Excited beyond belief, we all sat completely still, awaiting our catch.

A few seconds later, she appeared on the path…only 20 feet or so from our spring snare. Prancing up the path with thoughts of mouthfuls of candy, she neared the hidden danger. All of the sudden, we heard it. She had kicked the trip wire and *swoosh* the slip knot had tightened around her feet and she was hoisted into the air. Screaming and struggling, head bobbing a few feet off the ground we all emerged from the bushes, laughing and impressed with ourselves.

We stood in a circle around he, patting each other on the back, completely ignoring her cries for help. After a few brief comments and a bit more laughing, we decided that it would be best to leave her there for a while. Backing away and heading out on the path towards our house, we peaked over our shoulders just to see her squirming, and tears streaming from her eyes and landing in the cushion of pine needles that lined the forest floor.

We got back to my house and in an attempt not to tip off my mother, we busied ourselves with our bikes and the construction of a jump at the end of the driveway. About an hour later, after one of my friends launched off the jump and crashed into a tree at the edge of the woods, we all looked at one another with a touch of fear in our eyes and we took off into the woods. We had forgotten about my sister who had been hanging upside down in the middle of the porcupine and fox infested woods for close to an hour.

When we arrived, we saw my sister, still crying, but too tired to struggle. It seemed that she had just enough energy to tilt her head enough to see us approaching. Her sobs were faint, but at least she was still alive. We quickly released the knot at the base of a nearby tree and my sister fell with a thud to the ground. As she got up and began to stumble down the path she yelled to us that MOM was going to kill us and that we were going to be in big trouble. Chasing after her, with the bag of candy held out in front of us, we bribed her with the contents of the bag along with mild threats of further violence if she did tell.

As far as I know, our secret lived on and from that point on we re-adjusted out traps to only catch animals…which we did.

9 comments:

TentCamper said...

I know that I posted this a bit late....and on a Saturday...but how bout a freakin comment or two?!

ZenMom said...

Well, hey, I commented over at your place, but, since you're feeling lonely and unloved over here, I'll share my comment here, too ...

Either this really is pretty "normal" or else my own family is just as effed up as yours - because this sounds exactly like the kind of crazy shit my boy cousins did throughout our omg-barely-survived childhood.

Though, I have to admit that hanging upside down in a tree for an hour DOES top the several kinds of inventive torture they put me and my other girl cousins through.

Do you get along with your sister now?

I'm just wondering because, while I do love my cousins, I am sometimes struck by an overwhelming desire to punch them in the head for no reason.

I blame the PTSD.

ChocDrop said...

Holy smokes! I can't believe she didn't take the candy and rat you guys out!!!!

Seems like a lot of fun though...torture methods for siblings are always fun as hell.

Not a soccer mom said...

I am in the same spot as Zenmom.
I was the girl cousin in a sea of boy cousins my age...the things they did to me! left on a floating dock about 20 feet out in the lake once...
knowing I didnt want to swim with the carp to get to shore.
however I was never 'hung' for an hour! That is cruel and so not worth candy.
Zenmom- I too get the urge and follow through on punching my cousins now that Im older and wiser

lynn said...

to be sure, i would need to see your handwriting, but isn't this how serial killers start out...

CJ said...

Hehehehe...good thing you boys didn't grow up with me. I'd have taken the candy, ratted you out to mom and then paybacks woulda been hell. I was the chick who'd leave snakes (or worse) in your bed if you screwed with me. Not that anyone ever knew it was me, 'cause I was so sweetly angelic.......

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OHMYGOSH... you're horrible! I think I got something in my eye when I read "tears streaming from her eyes and landing in the cushion of pine needles that lined the forest floor."

TENTCAMPER!!! Consider yourself virtually punched!

Oh and BTW... you write well! I know this because I virtually punched you!

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