Friday, May 21, 2010


I saw my doctor this week for my every-two-year physical. Overall, I’m healthy – good blood pressure, good pulse (I have one!), good blood cell counts. But one biological statistic just couldn’t be ignored.

I’m fat.

Two years ago, if someone asked how tall is Lance Armstrong, or how heavy is the Tour de France rider – I could proudly say “the same height and weight as me!” These days, Lance has dropped five pounds, and I’ve gained ten since my last physical, two years ago. (Doh!) And I was a guy who stayed pretty much the same weight for all of my adult life.

What happened?

My doctor and I discussed it, trying to figure things out.

  • I’m not running marathons like I used to (I completed 7 of those 26.2 mile races in my 30s), but I’d quit running marathons eight years ago. That I no longer run marathons doesn’t explain a weight gain in the past two years.
  • I’m still cycling a century ride each year. I’m not the quickest to finish, but it’s en epic accomplishment to go 100 miles.
  • I’m eating as healthy as ever, with swiss chard and beet greens, brown rice, pasta, grilled salmon, chicken dishes, etc. etc. etc.
  • I’m not downing too many martinis or mai tais or manhattans

The problem, it seems, is that I’m eating as if I’m still running marathons and cycling centuries non-stop.

“You need to lower your calorie intake, or lengthen your runs and bike rides, and up their intensity, to burn more calories per workout,” my doctor said.

I admit – I do like me my food. Cut back on asparagus pasta? Water down my best margarita recipe?

Not on your life.

Time to bump my five mile runs back up to ten, and draw out my thirty miles bike rides to fifty.

In short, time to get back to serious training. It doesn't feel right to be checking out women (I'm an ass man!) when I don't have flat abs to show off in return.

When’s that Tour de France thing, anyway!?


Hubman said...

I've gained about 10 lbs in the last year and while I'm a fairly dedicated cyclist, I've never completed a century before. Guess what 2 goals are linked together for me?

But the Tour de France? Yeah, my ass hurts just thinking about all of that saddle time!

Debbie(single;complicated) said...

You will get there.. you certainly don't have far to go...:)!!!!

Kat Wilder said...

First, a message for Hubman — if that avatar is an accurate pic of you, the 10 pounds look great!!!!

Now, Dads, you know how to really work off those pounds — sex. Get thee a relationship ASAP. Although, we tend to pack on the pounds when we fall in love, about 15 to 18 pounds.

Eh, just start running again ...

Elizabeth said...

Mott, I hate to diet, too. But I have a feeling that as we age, it's about cutting back AND adding on more jogging, biking, and swimming. The cruel thing is that our bodies don't have the capacity to withstand the intensity of our former selves. So crank it up -- but then dial it back a little!

TentCamper said...

I have gained some weight over the past few years and Mariah and I have recently started a good workout routine. Something that we can do together and have fun getting back into the shape that we want.

I have never been looking down and seeing round puffiness...just ain't right!!

Amy said...

i get the bummer of scale shock but, um, in what universe is a mere fifteen pounds heavier than lance considered fat? just sayin'. :)

MindyMom said...

Seriously? Dude, I met you; you are so NOT fat!

Crazy Brunette said...

10 mile run??????

50 mile ride?????

What the fuck is wrong with you???? Holy shit!!!!

I got on the scale today and weighed 122! Goddamnit!

I say time to down some water pills and eat carrots for the next 3 days!!! Be back at 118 in NO time!!!

T said...

Yes, I agree. You most definitely are NOT fat.

But I can see where you and your doctor would agree on a healthy weight for you to maintain.

And there's nothing wrong with a bit more cycle time, in my opinion. :)

dadshouse said...

My daughter thinks I'm fat. But she also thinks I'm old, and she wants her dad to be an "old fat guy". Why? Who knows!

And I know being 15 lbs. more than Lance is not the end of the world. But for two decades, I was the same weight. It ain't easy carrying an extra 10! Gotta run... (literally)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

It always shocks me with guys when they worry about weight... why? I don't know. It just seems like it's a girl thing.

Now... women know that once you start your new exercise regimen you'll lose that 10 pounds or 15 in like a week when it would take us months.

So what I'm saying is... waaaaa... ;)

Anonymous said...

Seems to be so true for men vs women. I am working out more than I ever have before (and I've consistently stayed with it for three weeks now) and have dropped a mere five pounds.

Ilina said...

While I don't take joy in your 10lb gain, I am glad to know that women aren't the only ones fretting about weight. My husband has recently dropped a ton of weight while I feel myself pudging around the middle. I used to joke that he married his trophy wife on the first try so it's time I jack up my workouts too.

I am Janeen... said...

Sounds like a lot of the females think that you look great so I wouldn't think that you have too much work to do.
That being said, metabolism shifts greatly after 35; and from what I hear, it's downright evil after 40.
My nutritionist just took me off all grains. If you want a quick fix, that's one way to go. Keep the protein, the good fats, the fruits/vegetables and of course, water and wine, too!

Web Hosting said...

You'd really want your kids seeing man boobs instead of a woman's beautiful natural breasts. This also promotes obsisty.

Trooper Thorn said...

Some performance enhancing drugs might help too.

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