The Boy and the Pine Forest - One day, his parents drove him several hours outside of the city and the place that he knew as home. They passed by meadows, farms and forests on the way t...
Thursday, July 29, 2010
"Delightfully Tacky" - That's how Hooters advertises their establishment and they live up to it.
Hooters was started by six Florida businessmen who thought, "Hey... lets have a restaurant where hot chicks bring out sub par food while dressed in high-waisted booty shorts and tight tank-tops! We'll call it 'Hooters' and we'll have an owl with great big eyes like he just saw a big pair of hooters himself! Hey... his eyes can even be the two 'O's' in 'Hooters'! Is anyone writing this down!"
I wish I had thought of the idea honestly. I mean, you automatically tap into 50% of the human population with every straight, red-blooded American male (or drooling cavemen) as potential spenders despite whether or not your food is even good (or in my case... gives you the ever-lovin' runs the moment I walk in the front door of my house)!
Let's not kid ourselves here... no one goes to Hooters for the food. HONESTLY! SERIOUSLY! C'MON DON'T LIE TO ME! Guys go to Hooters in hope that they'll get the one waitress that has to put in her five hours of work a week to be able to compete in the Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant.
I fit into that demographic. I'm straight, I'm red-blooded, I'm American, I'm male and, if you've read my blog (Hands To War) for any length of time at all, you know I love huge tracks of land (Monty Python reference... anyone... anyone). I don't frequent a Hooters but I'd be lying if I said I'd never set foot in one. Only on special occasions have I ever gone to a Hooters i.e. fraternity outings (in college), bachelor parties, guys night out, bat mitzvahs, etc. Never have I turned to Bunny and said, "You wanna go eat at Hooters tonight? I'm really craving some wings." You know why I would never ask her that? Because she knows I'm not going to eat their food! C'MON!!! SERIOUSLY!!!
Hooters taps into the most blatantly obvious visual stimulation to sell food and people don't care that they're being led like lambs to a slaughter.
"Hey you... you want to eat these chicken wings that are guaranteed to give you the runs later?"
"No! Are you crazy?"
"How about a perky young college student with big hoo-hoo's and booty shorts serves 'em up to you? Would you mind getting the runs then?"
"Hmmm... do you have any artery clogging, high-fat ranch I could dip those wings into?"
"Hi there cutie! I hear you wanted the runs?"
Hooters uses boobs to sell food! They're not well-known for their food! "Man... that Hooters has some GREAT food!" is not something you're ever going to hear!
For some reason, my oldest sister has a turned somewhat of a blind eye to what's really behind Hooters "marketing strategy". My 17-year-old niece is in town for the summer because she's gotten her first paying acting gig with a local theater group (Go Daisy! Remember... I'll be your bodyguard when you're famous) and I called my sister up tonight to see if they'd like to pick out a place to eat with Bunny, DLG and I.
"We wanna go to Hooters!" was her response.
"Uh... I don't really feel comfortable taking my two-year-old daughter to Hooters!" I said.
"Oh... we went there last week. It's not that bad! Little girls in their Easter dresses were there along with some families and older couples. It's more of a family establishment!!" was her rebuttal.
I have to admit, I was a little taken aback. I guess I remember there being kids in the Hooters restaurants I went to... but I always thought it was weird. Somewhere in the deep inner recesses of my mind I always knew I definitely wasn't going to take my daughter to a place where the main purpose is to look at hot chicks!
Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against Hooters other than it's blatant, "in your face" tactics at selling chicken wings. Hell... Bunny even considered working at Hooters years ago when we were just dating as a way to make ends meet. They've got no qualms in advertising what's really so awesome about Hooters... they might have well just called it "Boobies"... then you still could have used to huge eyes for the two "O's" in "Boobies".
Quite simply, Hooters leaves less to the imagination than Olive Garden and that's why dudes like it. I don't want to and WILL NOT expose my daughter to that... it'll undoubtedly get shoved in her face eventually no matter how much I try to protect her from it. In the meantime I'll do my best to keep her from it.
Would you take your two-year-old daughter to Hooters? Would you take your kid to Hooters? Would you go to Hooters? Have you been to Hooters? Do you like Hooters (the restaurant AND the body part)? Let's see... tell me anything ANYTHING...
Come visit me at my home: Hands To War.