Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Do You Support Plant Sex?

On my desk sits an avocado tree that I raised from a pit. I am no gardening aficionado, nor do I hold a degree in horticulture, botany or any of the plant sciences. I was merely hung-over one Sunday and decided to soak the leftover pit I had from some homemade guacamole the night before.

The damn thing sprouted and now it stretches above the walls of my cubicle, leaning lazily towards the nearest fluorescent light.

Recently co-workers have been asking if am going to promote the growth of the avocado fruit itself. However, it is my understanding (without any research whatsoever, mind you) that fertilization from a tree of the opposite sex will be required.

Thus the dilemma of arranging for a date with another avocado tree. Seems kind of cheap and dirty. And certainly not the appropriate sort of thing to conduct in a financial institution like the one I work for.

Besides, I don't think I'm conformable with being an avocado pimp, or arranging for some sort of tree sex tour.

7 comments:

Always Home and Uncool said...

I've got a nice lemon tree it might like ...

Mariah said...

I had to use a paintbrush and rub the female blossoms and then the male blossoms for my zucchini to grow. I felt like a total pervert

peedee said...

I only WISH my damn mango tree would stop having sex. I've got 5,000 mango's about to drop all over my back yard.

Good luck you pimp daddy. ;)

UP said...

Great, next you'll be the king of Plant Porn...They might even make a movie about you..."Boogie Nights, The Advances of an Amorous Avocado"...hell, i'd rent that!

UP

TentCamper said...

I'd be happy to have it 'mingle' with one of our trees. We have one that is now a mix between lemon lime and some other strange fruit.
We are all about creating new oddities over here.

Trooper Thorn said...

Seems like there are quite a few of you who want to see my tree "get it on" with all manner of plant life, regardless of the abominations such a union might produce!

Joanna Cake said...

Yup, I'd subscribe to Plant Porn. When will your avocado be making an appearance on HNT...?

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