Y'all ought to go see the Hot Chick Without Shoes and tell her Happy Birthday!
Well I thought I'd tell y'all about a little incident that went on at the house a few weeks ago. See my kids Baby G (11) daughter and Rowdy (7) son have a plethora of chores that will be completed daily or when applicable. Their chores are as follows.
Sort all washed clothes, separating into Mine, Mamma Sages, Rowdy's and her own.
Folding/hanging hers and putting them away.
Folding and putting away all towels.
Loading and unloading the dish washer.
Cleaning her room.
Separating her clothes pre wash.
Setting the table for meals.
Folding wash cloths
Cleaning his room.
Cleaning their bathroom.
Cleaning the 1/2 bathroom.
Folding/hanging putting away his own clothes.
Clearing the table post meal.
What don't look at me like that he's 7 and shes 11. I ain't raising democrats here, you earn it or you don't get it, meals, electricity etc, nothing here is free.
So anyway Baby G threw down one night and this isn't way out of line, it happens about once every couple months
"This isn't fair"
"Rowdy doesn't have as much to me!"
and on and on.
Now one thing I need to explain is we don't pay for chores, those are due us for food and shelter, clothes and such. I do pay for tasks done outside that. I mean come on they don't have to work watermelons or hay like I did from 10 up and so they can do some stuff around here, even though working didn't get me out of chores at the house.
So the girl child threw down in the floor. Snot bubbles. Hollering. She might have expelled some gas I am not quite sure cause the dog was in there also but she was in the fecal position one time. She spun on the floor like a break dancer. She arched her back and blew an additional snot bubble. It was ugly you know. She stiffened her whole body standing straight up, fists clenched, on her tip toes, squallin. Y'all getting the picture?
Well anyway so the bride runs to their defense when I am asking them sweetly to actually do their chores and I have a three way "thats not fair" fest! Baby G made a terrible miscalculation though. She popped off and said "NONE OF MY FRIENDS (snot bubble bursting) HAVE ANY CHORES !!!!!! (stiff body, on tiptoes, fists clenched, squallin loudly) She's meaner than hell like her momma and did not get my sweet temperament and understanding demeanor.
So Big Pappi formulated a perfect plan, as all of Big Pappi's plans are. I asked Momma Sage how many of Baby G's friends she had on Facebook. "All of them" was the reply. So I had Momma Sage post on Facebook, "Baby G thinks none of her friends have chores, or at least not like she has, what chores, if any do your kids have to do?"
Well it was about 9 minutes and her stuff was blowin up! The most memorable comment, nestled snugly amongst the 45 or so that came in in the first couple hours, was one from Mamma Sages long time best friend, with kids the same age they were both bred at the same time with both kids. She said:
"Baby G, Baby G, Baby G, Honey what have you done? When will you children learn? If you will just listen to your daddy you won't have to go through all of this turmoil. I promise you baby if you would just do it right when you are told you would be finished in less time than the argument usually lasts. I know your daddy and has pitching a fit ever gotten you out of anything with him? Good luck baby the comments don't look that good for you right now."
Well of course all the kids had chores and about half of the kids had either more chores or tougher chores and none had markedly less chores (we don't know any Socialists). So Mamma printed off the chores of her friend's kids and Baby G read them aloud for the family. Then she re-read them for the in laws Sunday at dinner (12 noon for you uneducated people).
So I found one good use for Facebook, what do y'all do when the snot bubbles fly? Have you ever used any of the silly assed friend sites for something other than mindless babble? Tell me!
Oh yeah you can thank me now for the snot bubble, squallin, fecal position gettin in stopper I just gave you!
Should be something good in Sageville today too.
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