Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday Slides, Funnies, Caption Contest

1. LOL


2. Indeed you should fear the smiley folks.


3. Do it Jack.


4. Ole Tiger never gets old.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station.

And then the fight started...

5. The Doublemint twins?



6. bwhahahahahahaha


Four guys spend weeks planning the perfect football outing for an away game between the

NY Jets and the Indianapolis Colts


Two days before the group is to leave Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

On game day, two days later, the three get to the stadium site only to find Frank already sitting in his seat with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other.

"Man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The other evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"

I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie. She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, and so I did.

And then she said "Now, do whatever you want."

So here I am!!!

7. Democrats! Who'da thunk it.


8. Ha!!!!!!!! Fail indeed.

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep..

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Caption Contest, but you can't use "Hey Honey he's hung like a Sage!
Give it your best shot though!



Well take a shot at the captions! Hope everyone has a groovy Sunday!

15 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

Dammit, you outlawed my caption. Whatever. I'm pissed now so I'm not even going to try.

;)

Barefoot Dreamer said...

I can't come up with a caption - I am stuck on how kick ass strong those girls are!

Southern Sage said...

HEhehehehhehe I always thought they did it by hand!

vixen kitten said...

Ummmm....they use to do it by hand! Back in the day.

The Queen said...

This was easier before you poked a hole in the blow up horse!

Southern Sage said...

WM: LOL!

VK: Acccckkkkkkkkkkkk

Queen: ha!

Good ones ladies.

Trooper Thorn said...

"There were days when Man O'War was glad to dispense with foreplay and the pressure of dirty talk"

web designing jacksonville said...

We are creating a Contest for best caption of a picture. Please choose the name of this contest for us??

web designing jacksonville said...

it's bound to test the fortitude of the smarter readership, as to what is worth being affiliated with such bush-league wit. Why do they keep it going?

Website Developer India said...

Nice Post with awesome Blog.

Website designer India said...

this is the post..people can say..

Website Developer India said...

There were days when Man O'War was glad to dispense with foreplay and the pressure of dirty talk.

web design india said...

Really nice blog, I am stuck on how kick ass strong those girls are!

Dwayne said...

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Web Design India said...

hehhehe I always thought they did it by hand! xD

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